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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

665 replies

LardiLaLardiLi · 22/04/2021 21:19

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

OP posts:
OppsUpsSide · 22/04/2021 21:28

I’d be upset if I missed one!

Dinnerfor1 · 22/04/2021 21:29

I’m sorry but how ridiculous. I have no idea when all the birthdays in my class are. I would have to go looking for the information on SIMS, which I really don’t have time to do every morning! Of course, if a child tells me it’s their birthday or comes in wearing a birthday badge I will make a big fuss and get the class to sing happy birthday.

Hankunamatata · 22/04/2021 21:29

Each class in our school has birthday wall. Each month of the year on the wall, then in september childrens pictures stuck on their month with their birthday day. When its your birthday you get to stand on your table and everyone claps and sings happy birthday. It's really nice.

maddy68 · 22/04/2021 21:29

I'm a teacher , I barely have time to remember when my own children's birthdays are. What a strange post

EmeraldShamrock · 22/04/2021 21:29

My DC have had many birthday days on school days and the teacher ALWAYS wishes them a Happy Birthday.
They use a clever calendar with reminders knowing how important it is to DC.
They get a homework pass too.
Primary school Ireland.

Andbearsohmy · 22/04/2021 21:29

😂😂 Do not remind her. You'll be that parent.

I have 30 kids- there is no time for me to pee in the school day, let alone keep track of birthdays.

Silversun83 · 22/04/2021 21:30

YANBU, but only because I think my DS's reception teacher would know, he is so enthusiastic and diligent (and seems to know every child in the school). Though there's only 18 of them and most children seem to bring in something for the others on their birthday (and wear a badge!) so it would be pretty rude to ignore that Grin

Did your DC bring in treats/wear a badge?

Katjolo · 22/04/2021 21:30

Did you not provide treats to share with the class?

LeopardSheet · 22/04/2021 21:30

Definitely wouldn’t expect teachers to remember on their own but at my son’s school each classroom has a birthday chart/calendar on the wall and I think the teacher checks it every day or week so no ones is forgotten

autumnboys · 22/04/2021 21:30

Our teachers know because most families send in a big multipack of Haribo or similar. You do need to give them a bit of a visual prompt if your child is shy or unlikely to tell them.

Woodlandbelle · 22/04/2021 21:30

FFS

Hmm
Hankunamatata · 22/04/2021 21:30

Teacher also send a happy birthday certificate home. Some kids have crappy parents or bad home lives it gives a little light for them

Silversun83 · 22/04/2021 21:30

*18 in the class

PathOfLeastResitance · 22/04/2021 21:31

I can’t remember the birthdays in my family so my class have no chance. If they come in with a badge/tell me/a parent tells me before the day/they bring sweets to give out then we all sing happy birthday to them.

Skysblue · 22/04/2021 21:31

At our school you’re supposed to send the kid in wearing a birthday badge.

No one told me that for the first couple of yrs tho 🤦‍♀️

megletthesecond · 22/04/2021 21:32

The DC's primary had all the birthdays on the wall on a big calendar. DS says they sang happy birthday to the birthday child.

QueenofLouisiana · 22/04/2021 21:33

Yes, the teacher has nothing else to do- oh except find the unnamed jumpers that are “red” and belong to another child who’s parents think that this is something else she should be doing.
If you might possibly forget anything at all to do with school, I really wouldn’t contact the school. You have a handful of children to think about, the teacher has 30. Perhaps focus on whether or not the education of your child is the main concern not whether or not they said happy birthday.

NotAnotherPushyMum · 22/04/2021 21:34

I used to have a list with all the birthdays on, give a card and when I was in early years we made cakes. Each school/teacher does things differently though.

LardiLaLardiLi · 22/04/2021 21:34

Wow! That was quick. So majority think it's crazy to worry about it. Thank you. I needed that perspective, I was wondering if I was being precious. Btw, it's a small class of 12.

OP posts:
DietrichandDiMaggio · 22/04/2021 21:35

@PicaK

Surely the sweets you sent in for him to give the rest of the class were all the reminder she needs....
Lots of schools don't let children bring sweets in to share these days, because it goes against their healthy schools status.
RachelRavenR0th · 22/04/2021 21:37

Send him in with a badge in primary.

DancesWithDaffodils · 22/04/2021 21:37

I've said YABU. If birthdays arent done in your school it shouldnt happen for your DS.

I did, however, drop school a line when they sang Happy Birthday to a child for his upcoming weekend Birthday on my childs birthday and didnt acknowledge his celebration.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/04/2021 21:37

I think it's bad form not knowing the DC's birthday.
Surely it'd take a few minutes each year on Google calendar.
Maybe the school can bring in a system the calendar can move with the class?
It's bad for moral they spend their life there.

Myglueattack · 22/04/2021 21:38

Our school have their birthdays on the wall. But I also send mine in with a birthday badge and sweets for the other children. If your ds is shy, why didn't you mention in to the teacher? Hope he had a lovely day, maybe bring some treats in tomorrow for the class and they can make a fuss of him then?

switswoo81 · 22/04/2021 21:38

Yanbu, hugely important to young children.
When we log in to our computer system to take the roll it gives an alert for birthdays. It's lovely even to wish happy birthday as you are passing a former student in the yard.
I do birthday certs and a badge. All summer birthdays get theirs on the last day to save for their special day!
Must say I'm surprised teacher didn't know, my class usually start the countdown the month before!

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