I was a mainstream primary teacher for a decade.
- I sometimes had a birthdays display (usually when teaching EYFS or KS1) but in the mornings would be too busy setting up for the day to remember to check it.
- When you're doing a time-sensitive register on a system like SIMS it's not that easy to check for birthdays.
- Usually children reminded you it was their/ their friend's birthday or the adult might give you a bag of something to be handed out at the end of the day.
With this in mind, I would never not sing happy birthday once I knew and wish them well, but there would be no special treats like choosing a present or having a breaktime party. This is because I think a happy acknowledgement and song is just fine and a child doesn't need to be bought something to feel as though they are valued. But also, for those children who don't get those treats (I've taught Jehovah's Witness children) it can be unfair.
My birthday always falls in the summer holidays. I have only twice in my 42 years had a party where there was more than about 4 guests (usually sibling/ cousins/neighbours). Once was the evening before our GCSE results when I knew people would be around (2-3 weeks after my birthday) and once when I planned it for a month before as it was a big birthday.
Everyone is always on holiday on my birthday. It can be fucking miserable and I'm so glad big birthday things at school weren't the norm when I was younger. Yes, I was never at school on my birthday, but honestly, I'd have preferred a term-time birthday where I got a fuss made on the actual day/got to wear my own clothes/be front of the line/choose a present and then, on the weekend afterwards, had a big party where all my friends came. Instead, I rarely got cards/presents from friends as they were on holiday and to mention it either a couple of weeks before or afterwards always seemed grabby.
This trend continues to this day. Any birthday I want to celebrate generally is a small family affair. If I'm lucky I'll have a couple of friends come along too but that's it.
Yes, I'm bitter. Yes, it still hurts. Yes, I'm aware I sound completely immature. But my daughter's birthday is Boxing Day and I just know that she is going to suffer in the same way as people are busy for Christmas and no-one is ever going to come to a party on her actual birthday. I am fully expecting everyone, teachers included, not to wish her happy birthday either before or after the holiday. Because people get busy and actually have other things to think about.
All this fuss over a teacher not remembering a birthday? Yes, it would have been good if they'd remembered or been reminded, but it was probably an honest mistake, not done because they don't like children or value your child.
Sorry for the rant but some of the replies on here about how above and beyond some teachers go for term-time birthdays or some people expect teachers to go for their child's birthday have completely triggered me!!
Stepping away from the Internet for a bit now...!