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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

665 replies

LardiLaLardiLi · 22/04/2021 21:19

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

OP posts:
HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 22/04/2021 21:40

Did he not mention it all day?

I teach secondary and most kids tell me on the day and I say happy birthday.

FontyMcFontface · 22/04/2021 21:41

Surely the sweets you sent in for him to give the rest of the class were all the reminder she needs....

Our school doesn’t allow this. and not because of covid. Just because they’re killjoys.

OP, it’s unusual that your kid wasn’t telling everyone it was his birthday, I wouldn’t expect the teacher to just know!

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/04/2021 21:42

Nope no idea. Tbh I barely remember my friend's kids birthdays.

It looks like I know because the kids tell us about it weeks before (with a daily countdownGrin-and I still forget sometimes) , they wear a badge or something, announce it as soon as they come in, their classmates say something,or they have sweets to share.

AlohaMolly · 22/04/2021 21:43

Back in the depths of time (2017) when I was still teaching, we had paper registers. Are they still a thing in schools or is it all digitised now? I’m pretty certain it had everyone’s date of birth on it. I was never organised enough to plan in advance because I had a million and one other things to do, all the time, every day, but I did make it my business to scan the register for that days date and sing happy birthday/make a fuss.

LastRoloIsMine · 22/04/2021 21:43

Oh good god really. This is what you have to worry about in your day?

Are you not a tiny bit embarrassed you posted about this?

AlohaMolly · 22/04/2021 21:44

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Nope no idea. Tbh I barely remember my friend's kids birthdays.

It looks like I know because the kids tell us about it weeks before (with a daily countdownGrin-and I still forget sometimes) , they wear a badge or something, announce it as soon as they come in, their classmates say something,or they have sweets to share.

Also the countdown GrinGrin DS is 4 and has been asking me every day how many days until his birthday... in May Grin
year5teacher · 22/04/2021 21:44

How on earth am I meant to memorise the birthdays of 30 children?

We don’t tend to do the “birthday display” thing - some of my colleagues in ks1 might but I don’t think anyone in my key stage does. I’ve had a child’s tell me it was their mate’s birthday, and their friend was upset because they don’t like to draw attention to their birthday.

I cannot believe you are thinking of emailing the teacher to remind them of your child’s birthday. Give your head a fucking wobble.

MouseInCatsClaws · 22/04/2021 21:44

I would be really disappointed in a teacher who didn't wish my kids happy birthday and have the class sing for them. I'm not in the UK though. Teachers here seem to manage it quite easily

MouseInCatsClaws · 22/04/2021 21:46

And there's 28 kids in the class

ceeveebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 22/04/2021 21:46

At our primary school the teachers always remember and acknowledge the birthdays (although I’m sure they don’t remember them, they are written on the birthday wall). During lockdown the teachers even changed their virtual background on zoom to a party backdrop and played happy birthday. So I’m in the minority that agrees with you OP!

jaffacakefan · 22/04/2021 21:47

As a teacher... I think it's important to recognise birthdays... it supports children's sense of belonging and self identity! Most schools have a birthday walk now don't they? Doesn't take a moment to say happy birthday. At our school we have a monthly class party for all the birthdays from that month. Important social and emotional development lessons for whole class learning not everyone wins every party game!

happylittlevegemites · 22/04/2021 21:47

I’m surprised at the responses here - it’s such a small thing and makes such a difference. And no, I don’t expect teachers to remember their birthdays any more than I can remember my family’s. I write them down. There are ways.

I have a year 1 and a year 3. Their birthdays are recognised.

Original poster
LardiLaLardiLi · 22/04/2021 21:48

I will bring the sweets tomorrow - the school allows them, thankfully.
To posters saying it's unusual he didn't say anything - it is. And it worries me that in a small class setting he's been in for the last few years he's not comfortable doing so. Sad he did take badge to school but wore it under jumper Confused I wonder if he was uncomfortable wearing it without dishing out sweets??

OP posts:
LastRoloIsMine · 22/04/2021 21:49

I would be really disappointed in a teacher who didn't wish my kids happy birthday and have the class sing for them. I'm not in the UK though. Teachers here seem to manage it quite easily

You honestly would think less of a teacher because they didn't wish your little precious happy birthday?

No wonder this generation a growing up as self involved spoiled brats Hmm

MouseInCatsClaws · 22/04/2021 21:52

@lastroloismine Yeah I would, in primary school it makes the kids day and if missed sends a message that the teacher doesn't really give a toss. But it's never happened to my kids, their teachers have been really great

Cadburydelights · 22/04/2021 21:53

Here's an idea, why didn't you whisper to the teacher or send them a message letting them know it's your DS birthday. Teachers have enough on their plates. They can't know everything

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/04/2021 21:53

@LardiLaLardiLi

I will bring the sweets tomorrow - the school allows them, thankfully. To posters saying it's unusual he didn't say anything - it is. And it worries me that in a small class setting he's been in for the last few years he's not comfortable doing so. Sad he did take badge to school but wore it under jumper Confused I wonder if he was uncomfortable wearing it without dishing out sweets??
I actually don't blame you for being worried about that. It's definitely something to keep an eye on and even talk to teacher about. Ask how he is in school... quiet,withdrawn, how is he socially, does he have any friends etc.
megletthesecond · 22/04/2021 21:53

My primary school celebrated birthdays in the early 80s. They had a plastic cake and lit a real candle on it.

MrsPnut · 22/04/2021 21:53

At primary the headteacher used to come to the classroom to give a sticker to the birthday child. I think the office used to run a report each week for him so he knew who he needed to see and if your birthday was at the weekend you got a sticker on the Friday before and again before a holiday.

MouseInCatsClaws · 22/04/2021 21:53

And nary a self involved spoiled brat to be seen

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 22/04/2021 21:54

The teachers were brilliant at my children's primary school, they use to come home with the Birthday Crown on little treats were given out, such a lovely thing to do for the children.

lemonsyellow · 22/04/2021 21:54

Most schools have a birthday walk now don't they?

Never heard of this. I can’t even imagine what a birthday walk would be.

LeibnizQueen · 22/04/2021 21:55

@Jumpers268

And this is why I get mine a birthday badge! I hope he had a good birthday otherwise 😊.

This!

crochetmonkey74 · 22/04/2021 21:55

Oh God imagine if we did make a big fuss of birthdays, then there would be a thread called 'my childs birthday is in August, how can the teacher make it up to him as he never gets a fuss made of him by school"

Chloemol · 22/04/2021 21:55

Sorry but when I was at school teachers didn’t acknowledge people’s birthdays and I doubt they knew when they were. My god daughter is a teacher, secondary school lots of classes. No way would she know. It’s not the done thing in this country