AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

[EarringsandLipstick]

Rolo of course you are entitled to your views. But do you have to be so nasty in your tone?

[ceeveebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]

*some not done

[Cocomarine]

@LardiLaLardiLi

Thank you all for telling me that other schools do celebrate birthdays and some in great style! I think a Birthday Walk would be a lot of fun. Maybe once a month for all birthdays 😂
I think for kids, especially in primary, it's really important to acknowledge their BDs. As an adult I never expect anyone except for the closest family to remember. I don't celebrate my birthdays.

I think you’ve taken a landslide AIBU really well 🙂
Hope he’s had a lovely evening anyway, and enjoys taking in sweets tomorrow.
I disagree that it’s really important to acknowledge birthdays in school. I do think it’s lovely if they set up a little system, or all sweets. But it’s definitely not really important.

[tuttifuckinfruity]

Surprised by these responses.

I wouldn't expect a teacher to REMEMBER 30 birthdays, but I wouldn't have thought it's asking much to enter them into their diary? Whether paper diary or Outlook or whatever that would take minimal effort surely and make some wee kids day?

[Heatherjayne1972]

In my experience the little one is so excited they chat about it for days in advance
Bring sweets on the day and wear a badge

No chance of anyone missing my kids birthdays teachers or kids

[Disneyblue]

@ceeveebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I find it quite sad to hear done of the teachers responses on here. I’m glad the teachers at my DCs school are more caring about the children in their classes

I find that a bit insulting. Are you a teacher? I care deeply about the children in my class, however I have 31 many of which have SEN. My days are absolutely mad. I barely have time to have my lunch. Of course I make a big fuss if it is a child's birthday and they tell me, however I simply do not have the time or mental capacity to sit and check if it's anyone's birthday first thing on a morning. I'm too busy getting my lessons ready.
Apparently I'm uncaring for this reason?

[LastRoloIsMine]

I am not nasty. I am straight. Sorry if I am not using enough flowery language for you. I have not used expletives or violent threats.
Good god must we water down everything as folk are just too delicate to hear straight talking truth.

How's this.

"Oh OP how awful that your son was not the centre of attention today. Have you thought he may not want to be? He chose to hide his badge. He chose not to mention it yet here you are pushing it and demanding he be given attention. So much so you want to message the teacher with a ahem gentle reminder....listen to your son and back off. Thank you please.

Better?

[rawlikesushi]

I genuinely care about all of the children in my class but I have never worried about knowing when their birthdays are.

I tell the children that they have to remind me on the day if they want a fuss, and that's what they do.

Occasionally parents tell me instead, or send cake/sweets in to share, or the child just wears a badge.

If they didn't say anything I'd assume they didn't want any fuss. OP surely your child didn't want the attention if he hid the badge and didn't even tell his friends?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

@Blindstupid

OP .... why didn’t you take the sweets in today? You know, ON the day of his birthday?

You expect the teacher to know his birthday , yet you don’t remember it enough to buy sweets in advance?

Also, 12 children i his class for years? Where the heck are you?

I thought sweets were not allowed due to Covid! Stupid assumption. Private school.

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@ceeveebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I find it quite sad to hear done of the teachers responses on here. I’m glad the teachers at my DCs school are more caring about the children in their classes

This is really funny, because you have no actual idea if they remember bdays,they have a system or if they just react to cues from the children.


You also have no idea how caring some of the teachers posting are, how much they do for the kids, what they pay out of their own pocket etc. despite their abysmal memory.

[1Morewineplease]

Let it go.

[fingersdoublecrossed]

Haven't read the full thread, but as a primary teacher, while I have access to the DOBs of all the children in my class, I don't necessarily know whether their families choose to celebrate birthdays.
I am very careful about how I broach all cultural and religious festivals/celebrations because that is the social climate of our country in the modern day.

[SionnachGlic]

Tell the teacher next year....it's not his/her fault if there was no prompt. Send in a cake if it's allowed (may not be due to allergies/ food intolerance) or some goodies to share. It is nice to be made a fuss of but some kids (like adults) may not like being centre of attention either so nou unreasonable thst teacher doesn't make a hoopla unless prompted by a parent. I'm sure you made plenty of fuss otherwise on the day. Don't let on about school not doing so...he may not really care unless you make it a thing.

[GiveMeTulipsfromAmsterdam]

Congratulations for surviving another year.... 👏

[m0therofdragons]

Oh wow, the responses on here are so far from my experience of primary. My dc sing happy birthday to the birthday child and because my dtds are in the summer holidays they sing on the last day of term. Making dc feel cared for and secure as part of a school family is important for learning. They are so little and primary isn’t just about maths skills; social skills are a huge part of primary and ofsted is all about the individual dc. Can’t believe how low people’s expectations are. I’m a manager in the NHS and mark in my diary my team members’ birthday, get them a card and a gift.

[IWentAwayIStayedAway]

Yanbu. Ffs. Primary school. Teacher should know dob's

[BumCat]

When I saw this on the trending threads I thought the full title would be “to expect a teacher to know my DC name...” and I thought, well of course, YANBU.

But date of birth? YABU.

[EarringsandLipstick]

@LastRoloIsMine

I am not nasty. I am straight. Sorry if I am not using enough flowery language for you. I have not used expletives or violent threats.
Good god must we water down everything as folk are just too delicate to hear straight talking truth.

How's this.

"Oh OP how awful that your son was not the centre of attention today. Have you thought he may not want to be? He chose to hide his badge. He chose not to mention it yet here you are pushing it and demanding he be given attention. So much so you want to message the teacher with a ahem gentle reminder....listen to your son and back off. Thank you please.

Better?

😂😂😂 not so much!!

[LastRoloIsMine]

Ahh there's just no pleasing some folk

[lemonsyellow]

@m0therofdragons
How do you know your team’s birthdays? I imagine you might have access to such info, but isn’t it a breach of privacy to use it for non-work purposes?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

@GiveMeTulipsfromAmsterdam

Congratulations for surviving another year.... 👏

and that's the comment that wins the day! Very accurate and needed.

[Walkaround]

Not every child wants their birthday brought to the class’s attention - plenty find that toe-curlingly embarrassing. And not every child whose birthday always falls in a school holiday appreciates never having the teacher acknowledge their birthday and not being made to feel special. Every child is different.

As a matter of interest, @LardiLaLardiLi, if you actually want everyone making a big thing about your child’s birthday, why did you fail to tell/remind anyone about it? Even if you don’t see the teacher at the door these days, e-mails and telephones exist if you are intent on your child’s birthday being acknowledged in some way. Why expect the teacher to be checking every child’s birth date and putting a reminder in their personal calendar to acknowledge it whether the child appears to want it brought to anyone’s attention or not? And are you sure your child actually likes the attention if he hides his birthday badge under his jumper?

[Embracingthechaos]

@LastRoloIsMine

I am not unpleasant or mean.

I just don't see why the fact your child was born should be celebrated by anyone other than family.

It just pushes the whole " I am so special me me me" attitude everyone must celebrate my existence.

Christ, you sound like a right miserable bugger.

OP, the fact it's a class size of 12 does change my view slightly. I was going to say it's normal for some kids to not want to speak up, but I would.expect him to feel more comfortable in that group size if he's been there for years.

Does he get on well with the other children? Has there ever been any bullying that you know of?

[Mummytemping]

When I taught reception I had a display with children's birthday months and each month would check up which birthdays were coming up. When I taught older years they would tell me. My own kids are little and I sent them in with big birthday badges!

[CoffeeRunner]

As an aside, I find the primary teachers saying they have absolutely no knowledge of or concern for when their pupils' birthdays are wrong.

DD is an August birthday. She is almost a year younger than her classmates (some of them). This is highly relevant in primary. It's concerning some teachers wouldn't even register that.