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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for having the one drink?

199 replies

AIBU6006 · 22/04/2021 20:11

Name changed for this post.

I was asked by the DM of my sons best friend if I could pick up her DD and watch her for 30 minutes after school as she had been offered an appointment for her first covid vaccination and she didn't want to cancel and rebook the appointment as she'd have to wait 5 weeks for the next available appointment. I told her no problem. (DS and his best friend are 10yo)

The DM is a single parent and pretty much doesn't have any support so I decided to offer for her DD to stay over for longer and have dinner with us and I'd take her back home at around 6.30pm so the DM could have a break. The DM said yes please so that was the plan.

I have another DS who's 8 and the 3 of them were playing video games in the living room so I decided to go and read in the garden so I wasn't hovering around them. I could see and hear them from where I was sitting in the garden.

We all had pizza in the garden together and played a board game and then they went back in to continue playing.

I had 1 bottle of kopparberg in the fridge left over from the weekend so decided to treat myself and have it while sat out reading in the sun after they went back indoors.

My Dsis came into the garden to pick up couple of my deck chairs I said I would lend to her for the coming weekend and she noticed I was having a drink and began chastising me and was shocked that I was consuming alcohol while I was looking after someone else's child and said if she was the mother of the best friend she would have been appalled that I was under the influence of alcohol while caring for her child.

I don't drink often and only have a couple here and there and was only planning on having that one cider. I had only had a third of the drink at this point and I ended up pouring the rest down the sink because she'd made me feel absolutely guilty and ashamed. I honestly didn't see the problem with it to start with but now I'm wondering if I'd been completely irresponsible and I feel terrible! Was it something stupid to do?

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 20:19

Your sister is a miserable bitch and you are too easily bullied by her.

Next time, should there be one, tell her to take her sanctimonious twaddle back home.

Babysharkdododont · 22/04/2021 20:21

It wasn't stupid, but if you're an infrequent drinker and had a cider in the sun you could well end up quite pissed... I've made that mistake before.
Providing you weren't planning on driving its really not an issue.

ChazP · 22/04/2021 20:22

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if one of my friends had a drink while my kids were having a play date at their house, particularly on a nice sunny day.

Your sister needs to wind her neck in.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/04/2021 20:23

Did you have to drive this child home? If yes, then yes, totally fucking irresponsible.

Chasingsquirrels · 22/04/2021 20:24

I'm teetotal so don't know the particular brand, but assuming the 1 bottle was a single serve not a 2 litre bottle then I'd be totally relaxed about you looking after my child in that situation.
I wouldn't be quite so relaxed if you were then driving him home, but that comes from me always driving if the person I'm with has had a drink as I won't have done so.
Your sister sounds over the top and I don't think you should feel ashamed.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 20:25

Oh! Have we imagined a car?

I'd imagined them walking home.

Sunshineandflipflops · 22/04/2021 20:25

I’ve had many a glass of wine or two while in charge of other people’s kids. I find it helps 😂

Xmasbaby11 · 22/04/2021 20:25

I wouldn't do it myself. I'd have it later when I could properly relax, not looking after someone else'schild. But I wouldn't find it bad if someone else did. were you the sole adult there?

Sunshineandflipflops · 22/04/2021 20:26

I’d obviously not have any or only a small one if I were driving them home though.

Original poster
AIBU6006 · 22/04/2021 20:26

Sorry forget to say that I wasn't driving anywhere. The best friend lives a minute walk from my home so we walked her home.

OP posts:
BagLadyy · 22/04/2021 20:27

I wouldn't. But then I'm not a big drinker. Certainly never on a school night or just because it's there.

But if it's something you do regularly and know it wouldn't make you tipsy and you didn't need to drive DC home then it's up to you.

If you were going to drive then YABVVVVU.

fairynick · 22/04/2021 20:27

You were not being unreasonable at all. Sounds like your sister was thinking if of an excuse to have a go - is there another reason she might be annoyed at you?
When I was a child, my mum would often stay for a glass of wine with the friends mum when she’d drop me on play dates hahaha

Lollypop701 · 22/04/2021 20:28

You could have had my child in those circumstances. You sound like you know you, so if you were unsure re driving ask dh to drop off, or sounds like you had a couple of hours

MissConductUS · 22/04/2021 20:29

I'm teetotal and I'd be fine with you having a cider or glass of wine while watching my child. Your sister was out of order.

sbhydrogen · 22/04/2021 20:30

One Kopparberg is like drinking squash. It's sunny out but it's not hot, and you had food, too!

If you were driving her home then probably not the greatest idea, but otherwise sod it.

Divebar2021 · 22/04/2021 20:30

Your sister needs to unclench.

twiggytwoo · 22/04/2021 20:31

I’d be fine with it.

Foolintherain · 22/04/2021 20:31

@Aquamarine1029

Did you have to drive this child home? If yes, then yes, totally fucking irresponsible.
Oh dear. You twisted your knickers for nothing.
PurpleDaisies · 22/04/2021 20:34

I wouldn’t have done this either. It’s your friend’s opinion that counts though, not your sister’s.

LolaSmiles · 22/04/2021 20:36

I was going to say YABU because I'd assumed when you said you'd take the child home you'd be driving, but after you've said you're walking then YANBU.

vroominary · 22/04/2021 20:36

I'd totally be ok with this, presuming you don't turn ridiculous after just one drink.

seensome · 22/04/2021 20:38

I don't see the problem assuming you're drinking it at a slow pace, not having a downing competition to yourself.
On occasion I've had one drink at lunchtime and still managed to walk to school to collect my child.

waitingpatientlyforspring · 22/04/2021 20:45

I did imagine you driving but as you weren't then there was no issue. I would and have drunk more than one cider.

Your sister is a misery.

Wilkolampshade · 22/04/2021 20:46

No. YANBU.

99victoria · 22/04/2021 20:46

Those bottles of cider are 2.4 units I think so you can't drive after drinking one anyway as you'd be over the limit.

Given that you weren't driving anywhere I don't think you did anything wrong at all OP

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