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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for having the one drink?

199 replies

AIBU6006 · 22/04/2021 20:11

Name changed for this post.

I was asked by the DM of my sons best friend if I could pick up her DD and watch her for 30 minutes after school as she had been offered an appointment for her first covid vaccination and she didn't want to cancel and rebook the appointment as she'd have to wait 5 weeks for the next available appointment. I told her no problem. (DS and his best friend are 10yo)

The DM is a single parent and pretty much doesn't have any support so I decided to offer for her DD to stay over for longer and have dinner with us and I'd take her back home at around 6.30pm so the DM could have a break. The DM said yes please so that was the plan.

I have another DS who's 8 and the 3 of them were playing video games in the living room so I decided to go and read in the garden so I wasn't hovering around them. I could see and hear them from where I was sitting in the garden.

We all had pizza in the garden together and played a board game and then they went back in to continue playing.

I had 1 bottle of kopparberg in the fridge left over from the weekend so decided to treat myself and have it while sat out reading in the sun after they went back indoors.

My Dsis came into the garden to pick up couple of my deck chairs I said I would lend to her for the coming weekend and she noticed I was having a drink and began chastising me and was shocked that I was consuming alcohol while I was looking after someone else's child and said if she was the mother of the best friend she would have been appalled that I was under the influence of alcohol while caring for her child.

I don't drink often and only have a couple here and there and was only planning on having that one cider. I had only had a third of the drink at this point and I ended up pouring the rest down the sink because she'd made me feel absolutely guilty and ashamed. I honestly didn't see the problem with it to start with but now I'm wondering if I'd been completely irresponsible and I feel terrible! Was it something stupid to do?

OP posts:
InsanelyPregnantAndSore · 23/04/2021 06:31

*same reason I would never ‘have one’ then drive

AbsolutelyPatsy · 23/04/2021 06:33

you were wrong to throw the bottle away, you could have put it in the fridge for later.

Hm2020 · 23/04/2021 06:37

I wouldn’t even class a kopperburg as alcohol yanbu op!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 23/04/2021 06:40

@Suzi888

Unsure.... what if there was an accident and you had to drive to hospital or explain the incident to a doctor? Hmm
You think she wouldn't be able to explain the incident to a doctor after 1 cider 🤣
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 23/04/2021 06:44

Also, since the OP said they live a minute walk from the kids home, where her mother probably was, I assume the OP could just phone her mum to take her to the hospital. If an accident is too serious to wait a couple of minutes for her mum to come get her, then an ambulance should really be phoned. We don't even know if the OP can drive, or if she owns a car, so this could all be totally irrelevant.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 23/04/2021 06:44

I'd be totally fine with this and actually extra pleased that you'd managed to have a nice relaxing treat while minding kids.

chatw00 · 23/04/2021 06:45

@ConstantlyChanging

I’d find it a bit odd if someone looking after my young child was drinking before 6pm.
But 6:01pm would have been OK? What's your acceptable time of day to have a drink - is it actually 6:00pm or you're using that because it's half an hour earlier than the time the OP mentioned in her post?
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/04/2021 06:46

If no driving no problem. But then my friends are the sort who would offer a glass of wine to the other mum on a play date and it would always be accepted if its afternoon!

HarebrightCedarmoon · 23/04/2021 06:50

Totally OTT. Koppaberg is like Panda Pops anyway. I might raise an eyebrow if there were a half empty 2L bottle of White Lightning by your side 🤣

Tinyspiky · 23/04/2021 07:00

Oh well look on the bright side. You'll never have to babysit for your sister since you're such an irresponsible alcoholic 😂.

scaredsadandstuck · 23/04/2021 07:02

@Sunshineandflipflops

I’ve had many a glass of wine or two while in charge of other people’s kids. I find it helps 😂
Yup! Grin

YANBU OP.

Mummy1608 · 23/04/2021 07:02

Omg I'm so surprised by the mix of responses. Yanbu op!

My baby is only a baby still but pretty much all the pub/cafe playdates I've been on have involved a small glass of wine or aperol spritz or similar. The other mums suggest it as well as me. And we are taking care of babies, not even fully autonomous 8-10yo. And I drink less than most of my friends. Do I just have a really boozy circle/neighbourhood?

Did you know that fresh orange juice contains up to 0.5% alcohol? What is with all this puritanism

Confusedandshaken · 23/04/2021 07:06

Is there more to this than we know about? Do you have a history of drinking too much or at the wrong times? If not you need to put on your big girl pants. If you and your sister (or anyone else) disagree on something you can follow your own judgement not theirs.

And why throw the undrunk portion away? Even if you agreed with your sister and decided it wasn't a good idea to drink it then, it would have been fine to go back in the fridge for later in the evening.

MilduraS · 23/04/2021 07:08

I wouldn't worry if someone else was having a drink. I'm an infrequent drinker so a bottle of kopparberg would usually make me tipsy for a little while. I can drink less than the drink driving limit and be incapable of driving safely. I know it's not the norm so I trust other people to use their judgment.

Boomchicka · 23/04/2021 07:14

But.. but.. what if a UFO crash landed and the only way to save the planet was to fly the UFO, and the world ended because of you and your single koppaberg? Grin

Back on earth.. it's fine.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/04/2021 07:16

I agree with your sister, I’d be very cross if someone was drinking alcohol whilst my child was on a play date.

Dashel · 23/04/2021 07:16

Unless there is a massive drip feed that the OP had replaced half the cider with vodka and the 10 year old was so allergic to alcohol that being in the same town as it was going to cause a reaction then YANBU.

Times have been tough and having one bottle of cider with a pizza in the sun sounds like a great idea! Your sister sounds like she could find fault with anything and everything!

Although if you had given the child a bottle of cider and got them to drive whilst operating heavy machinery and drinking more cider then YABU 😂

firedog · 23/04/2021 07:18

I can't believe you even gave it head space. Your sister is a bossy bully. I assume she is tee total or god forbid has her own children under the influence of a 1/3 of a bottle of weak cider. Why are you so scared of her judgemental opinions?

firedog · 23/04/2021 07:24

With 10year olds playing video games there is negligible risk of a sudden freak accident needing an ambulance.
The lad is 1 min walk from his home. I wouldn't even walk him home that distance. Nor would any of my friends unless a very busy road had to be crossed. They would just walk themselves between the houses. I assume your sister does not have a 10yr old child

LST · 23/04/2021 07:38

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I agree with your sister, I’d be very cross if someone was drinking alcohol whilst my child was on a play date.
Good job you're not in my friend circle 🤣
minddeter · 23/04/2021 07:48

Yanbu. Koppperberg isn't strong and you'd eaten pizza. The kids aren't babies. Your sister is a bully.

NothingIsWrong · 23/04/2021 07:48

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I agree with your sister, I’d be very cross if someone was drinking alcohol whilst my child was on a play date.
Would solve that one by never inviting your child then. I don't generally drink much but an occasional G&T has been known.
eaglejulesk · 23/04/2021 07:48

Your sister is ridiculous - ignore her.

eaglejulesk · 23/04/2021 07:51

Forgot to add - please also ignore the puritans on this thread. It wouldn't bother me - and I rarely drink!

Helpel · 23/04/2021 07:54

I actually can't believe what I'm reading. People actually care that a person has had one drink whilst looking after 10 Yr olds?! Well I must be the worst parent/playmate host in the world!!

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