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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for having the one drink?

199 replies

AIBU6006 · 22/04/2021 20:11

Name changed for this post.

I was asked by the DM of my sons best friend if I could pick up her DD and watch her for 30 minutes after school as she had been offered an appointment for her first covid vaccination and she didn't want to cancel and rebook the appointment as she'd have to wait 5 weeks for the next available appointment. I told her no problem. (DS and his best friend are 10yo)

The DM is a single parent and pretty much doesn't have any support so I decided to offer for her DD to stay over for longer and have dinner with us and I'd take her back home at around 6.30pm so the DM could have a break. The DM said yes please so that was the plan.

I have another DS who's 8 and the 3 of them were playing video games in the living room so I decided to go and read in the garden so I wasn't hovering around them. I could see and hear them from where I was sitting in the garden.

We all had pizza in the garden together and played a board game and then they went back in to continue playing.

I had 1 bottle of kopparberg in the fridge left over from the weekend so decided to treat myself and have it while sat out reading in the sun after they went back indoors.

My Dsis came into the garden to pick up couple of my deck chairs I said I would lend to her for the coming weekend and she noticed I was having a drink and began chastising me and was shocked that I was consuming alcohol while I was looking after someone else's child and said if she was the mother of the best friend she would have been appalled that I was under the influence of alcohol while caring for her child.

I don't drink often and only have a couple here and there and was only planning on having that one cider. I had only had a third of the drink at this point and I ended up pouring the rest down the sink because she'd made me feel absolutely guilty and ashamed. I honestly didn't see the problem with it to start with but now I'm wondering if I'd been completely irresponsible and I feel terrible! Was it something stupid to do?

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 23/04/2021 17:10

There's always the 'what if you needed to drive to the hospital' brigade.

There’s always the i can drink at lunchtime and look after kids if I feel like it brigade.

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2021 17:14

There’s always the i can drink at lunchtime and look after kids if I feel like it brigade.

You can. It is not illegal for parents or people looking after children to drink.

iklboo · 23/04/2021 17:14

But I can drink at lunchtime if I liked. I can't drive DS to hospital if he had an accident because

A) I don't have access to a car
B) I can't drive

So, what would I do? Sober or having half a cider there'd be no driving him.

Fembot123 · 23/04/2021 17:16

Im part of the I can have one drink and not be pissed brigade 🤦🏼‍♀️

Fink · 23/04/2021 17:16

I wouldn't drink if I were the sole adult in the house, whether with my own kids or others. Mainly in case there's an emergency and I have to drive, but also because it's hard to judge how much I can safely drink before feeling woozy. A whole bottle of koppaberg would definitely be enough for me to notice the effect. Obviously your own tolerance will be different.

I wouldn't be happy thinking another person had drunk alcohol minding my children if they were the only adult present. If there's another adult in the house and one had a drink, I wouldn't mind as much.

Fembot123 · 23/04/2021 17:17

@iklboo

But I can drink at lunchtime if I liked. I can't drive DS to hospital if he had an accident because

A) I don't have access to a car
B) I can't drive

So, what would I do? Sober or having half a cider there'd be no driving him.

But but you’d be slurring and the Dr would call social services
Fembot123 · 23/04/2021 17:18

@Fink

I wouldn't drink if I were the sole adult in the house, whether with my own kids or others. Mainly in case there's an emergency and I have to drive, but also because it's hard to judge how much I can safely drink before feeling woozy. A whole bottle of koppaberg would definitely be enough for me to notice the effect. Obviously your own tolerance will be different.

I wouldn't be happy thinking another person had drunk alcohol minding my children if they were the only adult present. If there's another adult in the house and one had a drink, I wouldn't mind as much.

I don’t think you should drink at all if you’d get tipsy on one ribena, you obviously have zero tolerance and it could get messy. Pay for a babysitter
Sleepisoverrated150 · 23/04/2021 17:19

Personally I would prefer people if they watch my DC not be drinking but that goes for alcohol / smoking etc.

I doubt I would say anything but just not ask them again to watch my kids. Other people like PP would be absolutely fine with it but my preference is not. Your sister is being well over the top and not needed

Chanjer · 23/04/2021 17:19

YANBU

notalwaysalondoner · 23/04/2021 17:20

Hahaha that's ridiculous, no way were you being unreasonable! It would be different if you were drunk to incapacity, but a single bottle of cider would never cause that, even in someone who doesn't drink often.

Fembot123 · 23/04/2021 17:21

I wouldn’t like anyone smoking around my children or being drunk, not comparable to having one cider.

CareBear50 · 23/04/2021 17:23

Your sister is a dick

Fembot123 · 23/04/2021 17:24

I doubt I would say anything but just not ask them again to watch my kids

Oh nooo, that’ll learn em’

Ohdoleavemealone · 23/04/2021 17:35

It's a kopperberg. As someone said it is like having a schleur or similar. The alcohol content is pathetic!

iklboo · 23/04/2021 17:41

Slurring after half a cider? Give over.

Vooga · 23/04/2021 17:43

YANBU.

I've seen the 'what if you had to drive your child to hospital?' arguement on MN before and it really is utterly ridiculous.

MummBraTheEverLeaking · 23/04/2021 17:44

A solitary Koppaberg after carb loading on pizza? Your sister needs to wind her neck in!

Vooga · 23/04/2021 17:55

Slurring on a bottle of cider 😂😂😂 no the doctor would not call social services.

Vooga · 23/04/2021 17:56

@MintyMabel

There's always the 'what if you needed to drive to the hospital' brigade.

There’s always the i can drink at lunchtime and look after kids if I feel like it brigade.

Cos they can
pabloescobarselasticband · 23/04/2021 17:56

I very rarely drink op but I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at someone having a nice cold cider in the sun! You definitely need to tell your sister to fuck off and mind her own business!

Thefaceofboe · 23/04/2021 18:06

Some people on here are so weird and uptight Confused can’t imagine living a life being so shocked that someone has had a cider before 6pm. Hilarious

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 23/04/2021 18:08

You should text your sister and tell her she owes you a kopperburgh!

BasiliskStare · 23/04/2021 18:14

25 years ago I was told 1 glass of wine per week was healthy ( whilst pregnant) - this is no longer advice. Ds is fit as a iddle & 6ft tall. When I had D's friends for birthday parties etc - parents ( driving aside ) had 1 small glass of wine or beer,

There is a small drink you can have and not be unable to look after a small child let alone a 10 year old. And as @MintyMabel says - if you don't trust a person to look after your children - just do not do it. The cider is almost irrelevant.

fellrunner85 · 23/04/2021 18:14

What the actual fuck is up with some of you lot?!

I'm teetotal but even I can see that one Koppaberg is fine, and normal, and well within any sort of tolerance level.

I'm also Hmm at this mythical hospital situation where the doctors call social services if they suspect even a smidgen of fruit cider has been consumed.

BasiliskStare · 23/04/2021 18:16

Oh and ( I joke ) you are allowed a drink once the sun has got over the yardarm - not sure how that translates into GMT or British summer time.