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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for having the one drink?

199 replies

AIBU6006 · 22/04/2021 20:11

Name changed for this post.

I was asked by the DM of my sons best friend if I could pick up her DD and watch her for 30 minutes after school as she had been offered an appointment for her first covid vaccination and she didn't want to cancel and rebook the appointment as she'd have to wait 5 weeks for the next available appointment. I told her no problem. (DS and his best friend are 10yo)

The DM is a single parent and pretty much doesn't have any support so I decided to offer for her DD to stay over for longer and have dinner with us and I'd take her back home at around 6.30pm so the DM could have a break. The DM said yes please so that was the plan.

I have another DS who's 8 and the 3 of them were playing video games in the living room so I decided to go and read in the garden so I wasn't hovering around them. I could see and hear them from where I was sitting in the garden.

We all had pizza in the garden together and played a board game and then they went back in to continue playing.

I had 1 bottle of kopparberg in the fridge left over from the weekend so decided to treat myself and have it while sat out reading in the sun after they went back indoors.

My Dsis came into the garden to pick up couple of my deck chairs I said I would lend to her for the coming weekend and she noticed I was having a drink and began chastising me and was shocked that I was consuming alcohol while I was looking after someone else's child and said if she was the mother of the best friend she would have been appalled that I was under the influence of alcohol while caring for her child.

I don't drink often and only have a couple here and there and was only planning on having that one cider. I had only had a third of the drink at this point and I ended up pouring the rest down the sink because she'd made me feel absolutely guilty and ashamed. I honestly didn't see the problem with it to start with but now I'm wondering if I'd been completely irresponsible and I feel terrible! Was it something stupid to do?

OP posts:
ThorosBeta · 23/04/2021 09:42

Kopparberg is basically Ribena. It’s alcohol for people who don’t like alcohol. It’s from the same family as Pimms. It’s hardly like he hit the Special Brew or cracked open the Scotch.

ThorosBeta · 23/04/2021 09:42

She*

OrangeRug · 23/04/2021 09:51

"Appalled" lol. It's one cider, not a bottle of tequila.

LeonaMar · 23/04/2021 10:16

Not being unreasonable at all! If you are, I probably should have my child took off me. I often have a few kopperbergs in the garden whilst looking after my child and my friends children. Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if I went round my friends when looking after my child and they were having a kopperberg or a glass of wine. Ignore her

Cam2020 · 23/04/2021 13:31

You think she wouldn't be able to explain the incident to a doctor after 1 cider 🤣

And a Koppaberg at that 😂 It's not even technically cider, it's an alcohopop but marketed it as cider to sell to adults 🤣

Bluntness100 · 23/04/2021 13:41

I think it’s fine but to be honest I’d not. Simply because it was someone else’s kid and a lot of people are judgey about someone drinking when in charge of other people’s kids.

LST · 23/04/2021 15:15

@Bluntness100

I think it’s fine but to be honest I’d not. Simply because it was someone else’s kid and a lot of people are judgey about someone drinking when in charge of other people’s kids.
I dont think I know anyone whose kids I look after that would judge me. I dont need that sort of negativity in my life 🤣
emilyfrost · 23/04/2021 15:22

YABU. I’d be fuming and you would not be looking after my child again. Totally irresponsible; anything could have happened.

OldEvilOwl · 23/04/2021 15:26

YANBU, I would not have an issue with this at all, it's one drink!

ladygindiva · 23/04/2021 15:28

@ThorosBeta

If the playdate involved operating heavy machinery then you were being very unreasonable.
🤣🤣🤣 Yanbu op.
Subeccoo · 23/04/2021 15:32

Jesus wept. The sanctimony on here. What on earth could happen with the op completely in control of the situation?!?!
I'm genuinely curious.
She's stated she only intended to have one.
She would not have been drunk. What do you all honestly fear might have happened.
OP. Yadnbu. Many of my fondest friendships from when our kids were little were bonding over a wee drink on an after school play date.
You did nothing wrong at all.

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2021 15:32

@emilyfrost

YABU. I’d be fuming and you would not be looking after my child again. Totally irresponsible; anything could have happened.
What were you thinking of?
Caspianberg · 23/04/2021 15:37

Of course it’s fine.
I had a glass of Prosecco in garden yesterday, at around 2pm, with 1 year old to look after. I hardly ever drink, but no, it did not make me unable to continue looking after him.

safariboot · 23/04/2021 15:37

A pint of cider is really two drinks. Three for the strong stuff (not Kopparberg). But YANBU anyway, it's not like it's loads.

LolaSmiles · 23/04/2021 15:39

Subeccoo
Admittedly I don't drink, but even if I did i wouldn't when I had someone else's child. Equally I wouldn't have an issue if a parent round the corner had a cider whilst looking after my child.

I'd have more reservations if they were further away and would need to drive in the event of an urgent situation as having a drink limits their options to respond to situations.

Distiller91 · 23/04/2021 15:43

"Anything could have happened" 🤣 mumsnet is so odd. Yanbu and now i really fancya koppaberg in the sun.

IbrahimaRedTwo · 23/04/2021 15:48

I wouldn't like it. If you have some responsibility for a child you never know if you might have to drive for a trip to hospital. However if your husband was going to be around that would be different

Do we have to be in the company of husbands to be allowed a drink? What if OP doesn't have a husband, should she borrow one?

Why do people always bang on about driving to hospital? I wouldn't be driving anyones kid to hospital whether I'd had a drink or not.

AmyLou100 · 23/04/2021 15:52

I would not do it while minding someone else's child and I would expect the same. Do it with your own child If you wish but if you are in doubt then rather not.

MintyMabel · 23/04/2021 15:53

I always ensure there is a non drinking adult around to look after my DD. I would have a non drinking adult around of looking after someone else’s kids. I wouldn’t be particularly happy for DD to be somewhere there wasn’t a non drinking adult.

But those are my choices, based on my experiences. Anyone else can do as they please.

JudgeJ · 23/04/2021 15:54

@ChazP

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if one of my friends had a drink while my kids were having a play date at their house, particularly on a nice sunny day.

Your sister needs to wind her neck in.

Wind her neck in a buy hereself some chairs.
MintyMabel · 23/04/2021 15:55

Would people judge blokes for having one cider or beer whilst looking after the kids? Or is it just women who aren't allowed?

I’d feel the same no matter what.

Would people be so happy if this was a childminder?

Oblomov21 · 23/04/2021 15:59

Aquamarine what is the alcoholic content? You wouldn't be over the drink drive limit I don't think. So, not illegal?

Oblomov21 · 23/04/2021 16:01

"Those bottles of cider are 2.4 units I think so you can't drive after drinking one anyway as you'd be over the limit."

I don't think that's correct. I don't think you would over the limit.

PurpleDaisies · 23/04/2021 16:01

Would people be so happy if this was a childminder?

That’s a very different situation.

dropthedeadhorse · 23/04/2021 16:04

Sounds like a lovely afternoon OP! Sipping a cider in the sunshine while your children are entertained. Please don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for it!