I work for a complete narcissist..

[Pebbledashery]

I'm leaving my job in a few weeks.. Currently working my notice..moving onto a new role elsewhere.
My CEO is a complete narcissist.. Today she has pushed me to the absolute limit and I've broken.. She then tells me she doesn't need me crying and putting that on her as well as everything else.
I'm on a part time contract and I'm working full time hours. I'm a single parent but never ever let my personal circumstances get in the way of work. I think I'm a hard working and professional EA. I've got 15 years of experience in the industry.
I've resigned primarily because of her.. I actually feel bullied by her. Nobody seems to tell her she behaves inappropriately or speaks awfully to colleagues.. We have no proper HR department in our company..
I hate every day I have to work here. They've kept me to my 4 weeks notice and asked me to work an extra couple of days to help because its a ridiculously busy time. I agreed because I'm a good person but now feel like telling them to stuff it. I hate it. I hate my job and I hate her. I don't respect a CEO that is a bully.
No point to this thread just wanted to vent because I've been in tears all morning.

If you pre-employment checks have been done then just go.

Ring your GP whilst you are still upset and explain the situation and ask them to sign of you off.

Walk away and never look back

@Thomasina79 yes that's my thought process too. She's such a cow that she would give me a terrible reference. The worst thing is.. I've known my CEO for 12 years. We worked at our previous place together and she's gone out on her own and set up a rival firm and she asked me to join her new firm as she has always wanted me as her EA.. She was a bully then and she's a bully now.. I don't know why I put myself through it.. I guess I was flattered to be asked.

If you've already had your offer and passed checks I don't think they will be asking about sick days now? Also just did a quick Google and companies can only ask under certain grounds i.e if you have some condition and need assessed etc.

I'm starting to wonder if we worked for the same person!!!! Although I'm sure there are many of them around unfortunately.

People don't respect her. They fear her. That's the sad thing about it.

Surely there is a difference between GP Certified sick leave for things like stress (which is what we'd think the OP should be signed off for) and the random day here and there due to periods/migraine/24hr bugs/whatever if there is a check done.
If asked, the OP could state clearly that her previous manager was a bully and wouldn't hear a word said against her and made her working life right up to the final day increasingly difficult and now that she is in the job she's in, that is all gone and no worries any more.

@Pebbledashery - She can't give you a terrible reference. She has to keep to the facts. She could give the scantest of references though "Pebbledashery worked here from X date to Y date" kind of thing but the days of "Pebbledashery was shite at her job, made countless errors and was habitually late" are gone (not that any of that refers to or reflects on you at all)

[quote Pebbledashery]@hoppinggreen this is what I thought.. The NHS do ask for sick days and I've had minimal sick days the time I've been here.. But if it didn't work out and I applied for another role then that would come up.. I'm holding on as best as I can but today has been an absolutely awful day. I hate crying because of work. I'm a very strong person but she's pushed and pushed and pushed.[/quote]
When I had to deal with a really awful teacher at school my (very straight laced) Mother suggested I imagine holding up a sign saying “Fuck you” whenever he was upsetting me. I used to actually put my hand in the holding up a sign position subtly to help with the imagery. Always made me feel better and even made me smile, which passed off Dickhead teacher because he wasn’t getting to me
Childish I know but I’ve done it ever since and it helps me, although now I am almost 50 and answer to no one I am more likely to actually say it instead.
Good luck x

Just work your contracted hours and sod her.

You don't owe her your mental health!

My lovely colleagues in my team all know what she's like and are rallying around me trying to help me with whatever I need.. My workload is absolutely ridiculous and I can only get through it because of my experience.. If I just go off sick its going to. Impact someone else in the team and that's what I worry about. We're all ridiculously at maximum capacity at the moment and my workload on top of someone else plus I won't have done a handover. I'm worried it'll impact my team. They are the only people I care about.

It's her last few days to bully you, so it's escalating, in the same way that all abusers will escalate things, if they know their quarry is getting away. I'm no expert (escaped an abusive friendship with someone who needs to go for some kind of evaluation) but it's an extinction burst type of thing.

Keep away from her as much as you can, go 'grey rock', get signed off if that's not enough.

Yeah and they can be nice as pie to you as they watch you sink under the workload they are trying to avoid!

Put yourself first. It is allowed. For some it is essential!

I can completely empathise as I have been in a similar situation with a narcissistic CEO. It really took a toll on my mental health. It's not worth working the rest of your notice in my opinion, you want to be able to start your new job in a good frame of mind so you can make positive first impressions and settle in nicely.

I agree with previous posters who suggest getting a sick note from the GP. It will have zero impact on your new job as you have passed all checks and due to start soon. I also don't think this can really be used against you in a future reference if you get a different job after the NHS one. I have previously quit a job during my notice period in similar circumstances, which is quite different (worse) than getting a sick note, yet it has never been reflected in a reference. In fact, a lot of companies these days only provide a basic reference with your role and dates of employment. They are only allowed to present fact, not opinion, in a reference otherwise a company can find themselves in trouble.

Op I have been in your position too. Your mental health is important. Go sick.

I had a manager like that when I was pregnant, in the end my GP insisted on signing me off sick until my ML started, I asked to be moved when I returned to work afterwards, like you she tried to break me & nearly did. Speak to HR or get signed off sick, most references now only confirm your job role & the dates that you worked for them, a new employer will usually only ask for sick records from your employer you are with when applying for your new position, not ones previous to that.

The absolute worst thing about all of this.. Is last year DD and i fled horrific domestic abuse. My ex is a monster. We relocated and it all happened whilst I was on furlough for 2 months.. She knows all about it and I didn't expect her to acknowledge it but the way she is with me.. It makes me feel the same way my ex did. She'll call me and rant at me and say horribly inappropriate things then justify that it's a perfectly normal reaction.. I feel like she's stepped on my throat and i can't speak.. I hate how i let her make me feel.

Have you got a union? If so speak to them, after seeing your latest update I wouldn't hesitate to go off sick, you don't owe them any loyalty. Use the time to build yourself back up ready for your new job, quietly get your belongings from your desk & leave with your head held high then get signed off sick.

Get signed off with stress ASAP. Your job shouldn't make you feel this way.

Nope no union, its not the kindve industry that has a union.. I am worried about the impact on new job, she's utterly destroyed my confidence. I just feel bad on my team going off sick but i know I have to put myself first.

You’ll do great in your new job I promise you. I second the holding up and imaginary fuck you sign. Do not answer her calls (you are too busy) and do not do a minute more than your contracted hours.

Have a great weekend and enjoy your new job next week.

Oh my god, you poor poor woman.

As if you haven't gone through enough.

I would really think about seeing your GP.

Your daughter needs you well.

Stop doing the extra hours. Just stop. If things don't get finished, they don't get finished.
Look after yourself.

You're going to do amazing in your new job. It's the fresh start you need.

@jay55 😘😘. Have put my phone on divert for the rest of the afternoon now as I'm done talking to her today.

@Pebbledashery

The absolute worst thing about all of this.. Is last year DD and i fled horrific domestic abuse. My ex is a monster. We relocated and it all happened whilst I was on furlough for 2 months.. She knows all about it and I didn't expect her to acknowledge it but the way she is with me.. It makes me feel the same way my ex did. She'll call me and rant at me and say horribly inappropriate things then justify that it's a perfectly normal reaction.. I feel like she's stepped on my throat and i can't speak.. I hate how i let her make me feel.

Please, please, please get out now. Your update only makes me more sure that the very last thing your mental health needs is any more time working for an abuser.

I am really sorry to hear about your experience with domestic abuse. Well done for getting out of it. You owe it to yourself and your new job to start there in top form. A good start is half the battle. You will be so relieved when you get a sick note and don't look back. Just do it