To absolutely hate the secondary school ‘status labels’ nonsense

[Urbanhymngirl]

We bought 13 year DS a mountain bike for Xmas- it’s a Halfords one but top of their range and it cost £400- which I think is bloody expensive but he’s only just got into mountain biking and we didn’t want to spend a fortune.

But apparently in the world of mountain biking, it’s a bit shit and he’s getting teased at school with his ‘friends’ slagging off his bike as it’s not cool and he’s now upset.

Aibu to hate all this nonsense- I don’t want to spend a fortune on a bike (I mean to be honest, 400 quid is hardly cheap) for a 13 year old kid that trashes stuff and changed his mind about hobbies regularly.

There’s a lot of this financial one up man ship though I have noticed- kids bragging about expensive clothes, bikes and I fucking kid you not, house prices! Really entitled & privileged. We aren’t loaded & we can’t compete & there are plenty of similar and also worse off kids at the school.

I hate it. I spoke to him this morning but he’s so upset as basically his bike is now a status symbol and he sees it as a bit shit.

I do wonder, if schools went back to the days of publishing exam results in percentage order, from top to bottom with marks declared, whether it would help silence some of the little twerps who don't rate intellectually.

@EvilOnion sorry I did but having read it back I can see you didn’t mean it 😂 It was the payment scheme comment that suggested to me only people living off credit shopped there as a last resort type thing.

I'm not great with grammar or finding the right words sometimes. Could start a riot one day 🤣

I read a comment, take offence then can’t put it into context correctly 😂

£400 is a lot of money for a bike to be honest. Unless DC's were living on hills and used the bikes regularly (for transport, biking to and fro places) I would maybe consider.

But we got our eldest the ISLA bike, expensive too (499) but it is second hand and we got it for £200. I'm so glad we didn't buy the full price. It would have been a waste of money! DC hardly rides his bike and it's a pain dragging it up our stairs (we have a bike lock shed type of thing, but thieves regularly steal the bikes!).

I’m dreading this for my DD, she is in year 5 and we are giving her a very, very basic, cheap mobile phone. It can only call out and text and I am worried she will be teased for it as a lot of the girls in her class already have iPhones!

I am over 60 but it happened at my school
. The trend was Levi jeans and Bata shoes neither of which I could afford . I am still hoping to get a Levi jacket !

@EvilOnion Thanks 😊
It's not hard to see where some DC get their vile attitude towards anything different.

[quote EmeraldShamrock]@apooagnuandyou I'd go as far as to be say that is the most unintelligent comment I've ever read here.

you let your child go to school as a goth, you know what you send them for
Why should I encourage her to change her style for bullies.

Calling everybody else little shit doesn't excuse lazy parenting.
Yes DC who bully others based on any differences are little shits. How would you describe them?

Luckily she has a lion of a mother and plenty of cousins locally if anyone does try to bully my beautiful daughter in black they'll be in for a challenge.[/quote]
Mama bear. Love it

@ForThePurposeOfTheTape

£400 is a very decent bike.

There have been lots of knife point muggings of kids with e-scooters and status bikes round here. I would not be getting him a pricier bike tbh

Ohno!! What about the Isla bikes?

I didnt see the deleted, but me and my friends were 'goth's' and the abuse we got was unreal. Someone actually tried pushing my friend in front of a car because she had black hair!!

My son is autistic and I'm dreading him going to high school. He has a few lovely friends in primary but god knows what it will be like when he goes to secondary
Bullying is never ok, and the parents are just as bad!

Someone on my Facebook was asking 'what shoes and trousers/ skirts are the girls wearing to high school' as her daughter is starting in September abs she obviously wants her to have the same as everyone else. How about teaching them that it's ok to want something different to the other 200 people in your year and not to make fun of those people!!!
Someone else spent over £500 on a PS5 for her 8 year old for his birthday! And we do not live in well off area, quite the opposite!

Sorry for derailing your thread and I hope he does realise how lucky he is.

It’s weird, my 2 dc are at Private school and from what they say there is none of this and they have certainly never asked for a certain item or brand to fit in. In fact when one boy in DDs class came to school in a LV belt in Y9 he got the piss taken out of him.
Both my 2 were at State primary so have friends who go to a couple of local State Secondaries and from what they say having to have the “right” labels is much more prevalent there.
Maybe if virtually everyone can afford it isn’t not such a big deal?

I would use this as an opportunity to talk to your son about just because they have ‘stuff’ does not mean they are rich. It does them no harm to live through this- I went to a pretentious grammar school and I remember a particularly irritating boy bringing in the next catalogue every 3 months and circling everything he wanted publicly (it was always bought) and showing off about his £200 badminton racquet. It didn’t make him anymore popular.

My mum worked in a bank early on and she said the flashiest customers were often the most in debt. Those who looked normal or dare I say it- slightly scruffy- were often really well off. That message got through to me at an early age.

My daughter started explaining to me just how rich my cousin must be the other day as she has a brand new car, designer clothes etc. I said nothing on this occasion as I love my cousin but couldn’t help but smile- kids just don’t get it unless you explain it.

So in short I’d use this an opportunity to talk through debt etc. it also really won’t do him any harm in the long run.

I totally agree with u. £400 is already a lot of money for a 13yr olds bike! Kids are unbelievable these days. It does seem that kids expect and get a lot more designer stuff etc.

My nephew has traded in his bike and recently bought a bike at £800 and that was second hand 😮 he's 14. He has all the latest gadgets, phone, designer clothes etc. He was going on the other day about how his family are poor! Honestly he lives in a lovely 5bed house and has everything going but apparently he's poor 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think they are twats but really Halfords bikes are not used by any serious mountain biker. They are usually made of pig iron and weigh too much to actually get up any decent hill track. The prices of bikes and even second hand bikes are outrageous at the moment. My husband has been selling some “old bike kit” and has been getting prices on EBay that are high as or higher than new. I have a 25 year old mountain bike and have just bought a new bike and I was really shocked at the prices. I got a Canyon, it is amazing. There is a big difference between a Halfords bike and a Canyon for example.

Having said that I wouldn’t be getting a 13 year old anything expensive. My DS is nearly fully grown and he will be getting DH’s cast off bike.

@Hoppinggreen Snap. We don't get any of this crap, or not so far (thank god). And we are very much one of the poorer relations at our private school (don't pay full fees). Our DC don't have iPhones or designer stuff or a massive house or fancy holidays, and it's never been an issue.

I think tough though it is the best way through is to (scuse the cheesy phrase but I cant think of a better one) - keep calm and carry on.
I had all sorts of grief at school for all sorts of ridiculous reasons. I ignored them and ultimately they got fed up, shut up and either moved on to bothering someone else or said sorry and were nice.
If its not his bike they are bothering him about it will be something else!

Lol at the bike snobs on here

I think they are twats but really Halfords bikes are not used by any serious mountain biker.

He is thirteen. He's not a serious mountain biker . He's just a kid riding for fun, very few people need an expensive serious standard bike, let alone a young teen.

The majority of the population can't afford top brand mountain bikes, even second hand, or live where there isnt a good supply second hand. A £400 halfords bike does just fine for a kid.

"The majority of the population can't afford top brand mountain bikes, even second hand,

But the point is that this mum did afford £400 (I won't say 'could' - it may have come at great sacrifice) and it was spent on a brand new bike. But that £400 could have got a really good 2nd hand bike.

"or live where there isnt a good supply second hand."

I've just done a nationwide search on Gumtree for mountain bikes. There are 4960 listed. Some will be bad. Some won't be the right size. But there are plenty out there that are good bikes.

"A £400 halfords bike does just fine for a kid."
£400 is a huge amount of money for a kid. Which is why it's a shame that it's been spent in this way.

I agree that the child should be grateful and it shouldn't matter what other people think, but I still think it's a shame that the OP didn't get some better advice.

Lougle

Most second hand bikes on Gumtree can't be bought on an affordable payment plan.

@Lougle what a ridiculous comment.

It's not a shame, save your pity for something that actually warrants it.

My DS (and many others on here) has been perfectly happy cycling 5+ miles most days on his shameful Carrera bike for the past 2.5 years and it's still going strong with proper maintenance.

It's very easy to see where these children get their attitudes. If it's not top brand then it's not good enough clearly 🙄

We live rurally and have no means to travel and transport a bike from a distance away.

It was like this when I was in secondary school from 1990 onwards it's not a new thing.

@Hoppinggreen and @MyNameIsH, my DC are at state school and don't care about labels. I'm sure some children at their school, and yours care about labels. It's more peer-friendship groups than state/private. You both know that too, you're just giving it the old 'people comfortable with money/wealth whispers' shtick.

I know people from generations of cash that love to bling it up.

People from across the social spectrum like to use objects, behaviour and signifiers to find their group. Whether that's Balenciaga trainers or dog-hair covered Subaru Foresters, that's ok.

The problem on both sides lies when people feel insecure, so use their social-signifiers to belittle others.

It's not cool.

I agree with @hoppinggreen. This wasn't a problem at my dc's London Independents although interestingly DS's boys' school was slightly more prone to DD's girls school. On the whole though I agree the friends at the local secondary experienced it far more. Sometimes I wonder if it's the knowing they can have stuff if they want it that makes it matter less.

Both mine, in their 20s now, have no truck for this sort of stuff and are quite careful with their money. Their friends at uni are much the same - even the lad whose parents have a helicopter