To absolutely hate the secondary school ‘status labels’ nonsense

[Urbanhymngirl]

We bought 13 year DS a mountain bike for Xmas- it’s a Halfords one but top of their range and it cost £400- which I think is bloody expensive but he’s only just got into mountain biking and we didn’t want to spend a fortune.

But apparently in the world of mountain biking, it’s a bit shit and he’s getting teased at school with his ‘friends’ slagging off his bike as it’s not cool and he’s now upset.

Aibu to hate all this nonsense- I don’t want to spend a fortune on a bike (I mean to be honest, 400 quid is hardly cheap) for a 13 year old kid that trashes stuff and changed his mind about hobbies regularly.

There’s a lot of this financial one up man ship though I have noticed- kids bragging about expensive clothes, bikes and I fucking kid you not, house prices! Really entitled & privileged. We aren’t loaded & we can’t compete & there are plenty of similar and also worse off kids at the school.

I hate it. I spoke to him this morning but he’s so upset as basically his bike is now a status symbol and he sees it as a bit shit.

£400 is a very decent bike.

There have been lots of knife point muggings of kids with e-scooters and status bikes round here. I would not be getting him a pricier bike tbh

You need to teach him not to care what other people think. You need to teach him they they are the stupid people to be that bothered about brands.
When I was about 15 mountain bikes were just becoming popular. I still had my old ladies style traditional bike complete with the wire basket on the front. I rode it to school and did get a few "ha is that your bike" comments to which I would reply "yes it's mine, does the job" and that was usually end of the conversation.
This was the early 90s.

My dd had a really expensive mobile (Samsung) but got teased because it wasn’t an I phone. Other kids asked her if she was poor! She had really nice trainers too but stopped wearing them because they weren’t the Nike ones that everyone else had.
It’s always been the way and probably always will be.

It's very easy to see where some of these little cherubs get their less than pleasant attitudes from judging by some of the replies on here...

It's not unreasonable to buy a bike from Halfords if that's what you can afford - some people need the payment scheme, if you live somewhere out of the way then the second hand market is pretty shit!

Sending your child to school listening to a certain type of music and/or dressing a certain way doesn't equate to "lazy parenting" nor does it give brats an excuse to bully them (wow at that dickhead remark btw!)

The shits that make these comments are the ones who's children are most likely doing the bullying because they've been raised to put material possessions before manners.

It was exactly the same when I was at school - you had to have the reebok hi tops and the Naf Naf jumpers. I never got the jumper but did have the hi tops. I have a friend who was severely bullied in the 90's as he never had any trendy stuff as his mum couldn't afford it. It re ally messed him up big time and he doesn't resent his mum but just wishes he was given the opportunity to fit in. He has one child now and him and his wife work 5 jobs between them so they can give him the designer stuff so he isn't bullied.

Buying designer brands doesn't stop bullying either 🙄

It's always been like this but will likely get worse with the rental type schemes that are increasingly common as they make very expensive brands even more accessible to a wider range of people on a temporary basis.

Encourage him to earn money for himself if he wants expensive stuff. Chores round home, offer to wash neighbours cars, get a paper round or whatever.

Oh and my parents were well off and I agree, having stuff doesnt stop the bullying. I had expensive stuff but it basically wasn't tarty looking enough when I was that age and all that mattered was looking like a baby prostitute.

I agree with that, I was the kid with everything I wanted from a materialistic label freak Father but unfortunately for me the stuff I wanted wasn't the same as everyone else!

I was relentlessly bullied because I was bigger than other girls, had a squint, that my hayfever gave me a "snot face", my laugh was weird etc etc.

They'll always find something if that's the kind of person they are.

Yes yes to not giving a shit.
Bullies just feed off your reaction. You can get with anything if you can master shrugging and not giving a fart in space.

@apooagnuandyou I'd go as far as to be say that is the most unintelligent comment I've ever read here.

you let your child go to school as a goth, you know what you send them for
Why should I encourage her to change her style for bullies.

Calling everybody else little shit doesn't excuse lazy parenting.
Yes DC who bully others based on any differences are little shits. How would you describe them?

Luckily she has a lion of a mother and plenty of cousins locally if anyone does try to bully my beautiful daughter in black they'll be in for a challenge.

@EmeraldShamrock, I'd much rather see a teen express themselves in an appropriate way than internalise and act like a cookie cutter child to fit in.

My DS doesn't do brands but he modifies his behaviour and often hides his interests after years of relentless bullying because they're a bit different to standard teens. He's Autistic and hates to stand out more than he already does.

Comments like @apooagnuandyou are why thugs thought it was fine to murder Sophie Lancaster in 2007. How dare she or her "lazy" mother allow her to venture outdoors.

Sorry but for a mountain bike that's used for mountain biking it's probably not a great bike, for that purpose. You usually cant get decent under £500 and that's usually kids size like the voodoo nzumbi. Its not snobbery with bikes but ease of use, practicality and weight.

Agree there are some right dickhead comments on this thread. Ffs and people wonder why the kids are such snobs, they're clearly getting it from their parents.

You've got to be a real lowlife to look down on someone like that.

Money really cannot buy class.

I suggest a different angle. His bike was not cheap. It's not like they have all got Carreras and his a shitty £10 job! He chose his. Why not just say so. Give pride on his choices.

. " I didn't want a xxxx. I wanted this and chose it. My parents bought it for my birthday. And I think £400 is a lot. I like it. So why don't you just back off".

And I absolutely hate the entitlement of Millennials. the Simon sinek video on this is very clever. but there are other ways of dealing with it.

It's not unreasonable to buy a bike from Halfords if that's what you can afford - some people need the payment scheme, if you live somewhere out of the way then the second hand market is pretty shit!

I really don’t get the snobbery towards Halfords. The OP spent £400 on a teenagers bike when he was new to BMX’ing, I’d say that’s a decent amount to pay for a novices equipment. Me and DH wouldn’t spend £400 on a bike for us but we only ride on trails for fun. I didn’t realise we’d be looked down on for buying from Halfords and pitied that it’s all we can afford (we’re very comfortable thank you). Where should we be buying our bikes?

See your update. Sounds very sensible solution. Boys (and men) who are into mountain biking can be a bit pretentious. Just wait until he wants an electric assisted one lol

I was the same never had the ghetto blasters nor the really fashionable clothes. It’s hard but the school years pass thank god.

It's amazing all these people who know you can't possibly get a decent usable bike for £400 🤣

My ds has the cheapest bike in Halfords, he rides for miles and miles on it with no problems at all.

@Januaryissodull

Agree there are some right dickhead comments on this thread. Ffs and people wonder why the kids are such snobs, they're clearly getting it from their parents.

You've got to be a real lowlife to look down on someone like that.

Money really cannot buy class.

I know right. You can imagine these being the parents of these friends.

Kids look for any form of version of oneupmanship they feel able to use. Bags, bikes, etc. Everyone wants to rate themself in the pecking order. It is all nonsense, as everyone over age 30 agrees. Sadly, the judginess arrives younger and younger. And I think (but it's no longer a world I'm involved in) it is getting more and more unpleasant.

@Planningobjection I hope you didn't think I meant I was looking down or pitying anyone for r buying from Halfords. I meant the exact opposite although reading back it may not be clear

As said before my son has always had (and loved!) Carrera bikes from there without any issues - I meant that all the people assuming you can just go grab a £500 top brand bike second hand or from the local bike shop are spectacularly missing the point.

£400 for a bike is a lot of money to us, we're low income, and I assume lots of others will be in the same position. Whether it's through choice or necessity eg. Payment plan, people shouldn't be judged.

No child picks this crap up by themselves it will be adults around them or and sm.

This sort of thing seems to be getting worse!
Why aren't we teaching our kids not to make fun of other people who don't have the same as them