To think DP ex is effectively bullying my child!

[Maidmummy]

For clarification my DD is 6 and DP isn't her father. DP and ex have 2 girls 7+4 he is currently going through court to sort custody out and at the minute she only allows him access one weekend a fortnight. I've never met her and vice versa and tbh I don't want to. I have 3 DC with my ex and 1 with DP. When he picks his girls up on the weekend they are telling him "mummy said we aren't allowed to play with DD". She even tells them not to talk to me.

Surely that comment about my child to her children is some form of bullying?

DP has a phonecall with cafcass this afternoon and plans on bringing it up.

I wouldn't dream of saying that to my children, what the hell has my DD ever done to a woman she doesn't know and vice versa.

@Maidmummy

WTF has an old thread got to do with the current situation, please find something better to do other than trying to find other faults in me. Fuck me are humans not allowed faults and mistakes, seems not on here, suppose we should all be childless and very financially well off when getting into relationships and having children. Didn't realise everybody else's relationship bar mine is a complete bed of roses with no complaints 🙄

You have been utterly spiteful and bitter on here towards his ex yet expect us to not judge you when the tables are turned?

Didn't realise everybody else's relationship bar mine is a complete bed of roses with no complaints

This line is a great example of your attitude and communication style.

Literally no-one in here has claimed their relationship to be a "bed of roses". That's you OP making things up, exaggerating, creating drama. And frankly, you are very rude. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be your neighbour, children's teacher etc.

You need to step away from drama and put your energy into doing the right thing. This means focusing on being a responsible parent (by the way, this includes not badmouthing co-parents), and learning how to resolve conflict. You're carrying on like a foul-mouthed teenager who has been thrown out of a bar.

or, as he was a carer previously, financially they were already disadvantaged, but now they're lives have gotten better because he's moved in with the mother of his youngest child and now his first two children have numerous siblings to love

You'll do yourself an injury with a stretch like that OP 🤣

**’Or, as he was a carer previously, financially they were already disadvantaged, but now they're lives have gotten better because he's moved in with the mother of his youngest child and now his first two children have numerous siblings to love.’

‘You'll do yourself an injury with a stretch like that OP 🤣’**

That wasn’t actually the OP’s post, though I agree that it was a weird comment.

Or was the poster being sarcastic?

That wasn’t actually the OP’s post, though I agree that it was a weird comment
Really? Couldn't tell the diff 🤣

It was under a different username and not highlighted in green to indicate that it was the OP. So it was quite easy to tell the difference actually.

Plus, the OP doesn’t like people bringing up her previous thread about her DP being a carer. I therefore think it’s definitely possible that that comment was meant to be sarcastic.

Jesus...what a nightmare, poor kids ☹️

@Maidmummy honestly OP you don't sound like a very nice person. Very bitter. Poor children.

Wow, this post!!! Ok if she's saying what the dc are claiming word for word (unlikely) then she is U for that but tbh I can see why she has a problem with you. You sound intent on making things are as acrimonious as possible. 3 weekends is U. Ex tried this sort of shit and the judge was having none of it. Recognised I'd be doing all the hard work and he'd be doing the Disney stuff. Re the clothes tbh they probably want the nice things for the majority of the time rather than just the 2 weekends. I can't believe you asked for it back just send them home in the clothes they came in if it's really such a big deal. My dc often come home in clothes Tory like from their dads and tbh yes it gets muddled in with their stuff. So what it's a few clothes, I pay out for pretty much everything whilst he pays a measly Cms payment. It's absolutely shocking that he didn't pay maintenance til forced. I'd imagine she thought the small amount wasn't worth rocking the boat for so she struggled on but then the boat was rocked anyway so she might as well have the extra few quid. Re the school runs is nonsense. There's no list of who can drop a child off and anyone with PR can not be stopped collecting legally unless there is a court order stating so. Her being awkward can be solved by the judge anyway so he can have midweek rather than just going for weekends instead, so that makes no sense you saying midweek is out of the question- excuses I feel. Re the collection times - this will be solved by court also , it's literally the point to have set times and places to avoid this. As for refusing to have them extra when the baby comes as punishment despite supposedly desperately wanting to see them more, that's just the icing on the cake really! P.s if a parent notices lice or any other common childhood ailment they simply treat it!

I think the OP won’t be returning 🧐

@whiteshark

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3865864-To-expect-more-from-DP

Also OP, dont pretend this man is a prince among men. what a fucking catch

Oh dear!

The last few posts on that thread have it all summed up, don’t they?!

@Maidmummy you wont get support on here, to many bitter, man hating ex wives. I get completely what you are having to put up with. My ex dp's sons mother was ( and still is from what i hear ) exactly the same! Absolutely vile excuse of a human being who used that poor child to her own ends while constantly playing the victim. All the posters saying go to court for 50/50 are right however the courts are pretty toothless and you may as well just put all your money on a fire and burn it! My ex would go to court, the court would make the order for contact etc. She would then completely ignore the order and do as she pleased with excuses not to facilitate contact. Ex would then spend more ££££ going back to court and she would get a bollocking from them for not facilitating contact ( no actual punishment though). She would then leave the court and do exactly the same as before and around it would go in a vicious circle. He actually paid her four times the amount requested by the cms, while she sat on her arse all day claiming benefits and moaning that he didn't give her enough! Apparently she couldn't work because she didn't have childcare ( for a child that was in school all day) yet when ex tried to say he would have the child more she refused. Imo lots of single mothers ( i am one before anyone says that I don't know what im talking about) see themselves as martyrs and use their children to control an ex that no longer wants to be with them because they are not mature enough to accept it.

@Maidmummy

It's unreasonable to not want to keep buying clothes for children that are only here twice a month when money is tight and I have 4 other children to clothe, so my other children should go without because she refuses to hand over items that aren't hers.

I went through the same thing with my ex, it ended up where my children hardly had any clothes at home as he forgot to fetch them back he now buys to keep at his house which works best for us. How is more access than he has at the minute not achievable, my ex has our 3 for 2-3 nights a week, more access is entirely possible.

Seems men get the shitty end of the stick in court doesn't it, it took 2 to make that child not just 1 so why shouldn't both parents get 50/50 otherwise whats the point, unless both parents are still together then what's the point of a man's involvement being only part time may as well not be there at all. Both parents have equal responsibility for that child until it comes to contact after separating, then it's a case of "thanks for your deposit all them years ago you can fuck off now I'll do the rest". Pretty shitty imo.

You are being unreasonable and I think the court judgement will reflect that. Even if your partner was awarded 50/50 he would be highly unlikely to get 3 out of 4 weekends, for obvious reasons.

The weekends are a time to relax a bit and enjoy your children's company without rushing here, there and everywhere. It has to be fair for both parents. I would respect you both more if you were willing to take on some of the daily grind.

Ah, I see my post was a bit redundant in light of recent posts.

Exactly what @midnightstar66 said. What the ex said isn't nice but you can't take kids words as gospel. Their dad sounds absolutely useless and you sound nasty, poor kids