Old, fat and knackered.

[Dearzooimsickofyou]

Me.

43 years old with a hyper almost 3 year old Dd, just caught sight of myself in the mirror with my baggy jumper, pj bottoms and hair in desperate need of cutting, up in a messy bun.
I have zero time, I brush my teeth and brush my hair each day, that’s generally about all. A shower feels like a treat. I have no time to workout, no idea when I ever would, or time to read or...think.
I used to be fairly good looking, had interests, was interesting, now I’m just exhausted, scruffy and a mess.
We have no family to help/babysit. Dp works from 7-6, comes home and we take it in turns each night to do the bedtime. She doesn’t sleep easily, so it’s the majority of the night gone.
Would I be better being back at work?
Any Sahm’s happy?
Will this change??!

I meant work from home in that comment 😂

@Bonheurdupasse Yes, you’re right

@EarringsandLipstick I don’t know what PA stands for. She’s offering compassion though as are others and offering advice in a kind way. You definitely have offered practical advice and I thanked you for that, I think the manner is a bit strong, but again, I’m probably feeling too sensitive! Not been on arguing things out either, but again, thank you for the practical advice, I’m definitely working on it in small steps.

@5128gap Working was so much easier 🤣

*Keen on arguing

Best of luck with everything OP 🙂

Time for me to leave it there!

Poor you OP. Haven’t read the thread but I wanted to say hang in there, you will have time to look after yourself again. Mine are now teenagers and I have so much time on my hands that I don’t know what to do with myself. I actually miss the toddler years!

Earrings I really thought you were trying to be nice and helpful to the op. But now you do seem to be going on at her somewhat. Talking about her not addressing points you raised and all sorts of things. She really doesn't have to. Please stop pressuring her. Surely taking the pressure off is what is needed!. I'm sure you're a nice person but if someone feels a bit fragile tired or down it's really not the time is it? You seem to be a bit over invested in this thread. As op really doesn't have loads of time is she supposed to spend lots of it carefully doling out answers to your many posts? For me this thread did get a bit overwhelming at times. I'm sure no-one meant that to come across that way. And I don't mean that rudely. I was moved by some of the posts I read and so admiring of what people deal with. I think earrings you put a lot of effort in to think of solutions and that was kind therefore maybe youve taken things a bit too much to heart. But I didn't really see the op asking either for sympathy or lots of detailed cross examination. She asked if Sahms were happy whether work might help and whether things get easier. Thankfully a lot of people say it does get easier. A whole bunch of people really got overfocused on hygiene! I'm sorry but it makes me laugh. Really? I'm sure the op is fine! I think people are being a bit melodramatic there. So come on earrings. Peace out with the op. don't add to her pressures as it's really not worth having getting all offended about is it?

Sorry took me so long to type that I crossed with everyone. Not meaning to add fuel to fire as looks like you've sorted disagreement

Instead of showers why don't you have a daily bath with your daughter? I do this with my son and he loves the company

I really feel for you OP! My parenting story is really different so I won't talk about it but I don't think anything has been said about your little girl's behavior-she may be hyperactive due to her lack of high quality uninterrupted sleep! Is there any possibility you c as n speak with your HV or Doctor about it? Could it be physical like reflux? Is there any possibility of a sleep consultant? I ask this because when I've had extended sleep deprivation I get hyper

No advice from me, just sympathy. It is so hard.

I work full time, but from home since Covid, and I now only fit into tracksuit bottoms. My life is work and childcare, there's very little else!

I do manage to shower every day though, during the 15 mins when DH has taken DD to nursery but before I start work. Showering is transformative to my mood.

@EarringsandLipstick Ok, I’m sorry if I’ve offended you though! I’m a bit confused🤷🏻‍♀️I think what @Hadtocomment sums it up really. I have taken your advice on board and am grateful for it, as with many others 💐

@EKGEMS Yes, a lot of it is definitely down to her sleep. She’s always suffered quite badly with teething and we think she’s on her final back ones now, she’s around the right age for them to be coming through 2,8 months, after these, I think that’s then it! 🙏 It’s always affected her sleep and mood

@AntiHop Nursery in September, part time..yes! 😅(then I feel guilty on my Dd saying that)

Oh boy not a fun stage for anyone! Best of luck!

What struck me if that you said you can’t take any time for yourself on a Sunday as your DH would like time too. Well at the moment, neither of you are getting it. So wouldn’t you be better organising things so that you both manage a bit of time to yourselves? Even if it’s only one half day (Sunday) a month each?
I have three, all have been poor sleepers so I know exactly how awful sleep deprivation is and I sympathise. It really makes every day things difficult. But I find the more I do to help myself, the easier it become. So although it’s tempting to conk out on the sofa in the evenings (and my 2 year old doesn’t settle to sleep until 8.30pm 😭) I feel a million times better if I go for a run or do 30 mins on the exercise bike.