Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Defeated by my fatness - am I alone?

339 replies

BreathingDeep · 21/04/2021 13:48

Today marks yet another day where I wake up, full of good intentions that today will be the day I change things and take steps to make my life better, and yet by lunchtime, it's all turned to rat shit and I'm back to feeling defeated by my eternal chub.

I currently weigh around 5 stones more than I should. I know this is horrendous. I am unhealthy, unfit and unhappy. I avoid mirrors at home and reflections while I'm out. I turn down invitations. I have a wardrobe bursting with clothes that don't fit and I loathe myself for staying this way.

My weight weighs me down ALL the time - from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. Yet, despite this as a driver, I seem unable to tackle it once and for all which makes me feel even more ashamed.

Away from my weight, life is good. I'm capable, energetic, positive and decisive. I'm incredibly ambitious. I have a wonderful family and great friends but I'm aware I use 'being busy' as an excuse not to do a lot of things, losing weight being one of them.

I've gone deep and challenged myself on how I feel right now, how I want to feel, what my goal is, visualised how it would feel to be at that goal, examined what steps I need to take to make it happen, and still... it's always something I put off until tomorrow.

How can I be so capable in life and yet feel so lost when it comes to the food and drink I put in my mouth? This isn't a call for sympathy or derision, I just wondered if I'm alone in this?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Toothpaste123 · 21/04/2021 15:35

Oh, and another tip of mine. As home exercise I do stair stepping. So I basically just step one stair up and down and you only have to do 5 minutes at a time for example to burn a good amount of calories. I even bought some light weights that I pump up and down with my arms to burn even more. I'm not a big fan of exercise, so that suits me. Whenever I'm alone at home for a few minutes, I'll just sneak in a quick stair stepping session, because I hate exercising in front of others. Also, I think there comes a point when you're ready to make the change. To me it was DH making comments that I snore at night. I hated the thought of looking huge in my sleep and sounding like an elephant. I used to be petite and wasn't ready to be big and unattractive for the rest of my life.. So whenever I struggle with motivation, I think of wanting to look cute in my sleep 😂

Mellonsprite · 21/04/2021 15:37

Following... I’m on day 1 of slimming world. I need the focus of a third person weighing me, otherwise I cheat. I lost 3.5 st 4 years ago and have put it all back on. I’d say it does affect me even in my sleep, ie snoring.
My friend took an absolutely horrendous picture of me last week on a walk, and that coupled with being too fat for my swimming costume has motivated me.
I have a fit bit, i walk after work now, I’m going swimming again now gyms are open, I just need to get a handle on my eating too. We can do it.

Bewareoftheblob · 21/04/2021 15:40

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

Please try to do this, you can, I am and if I can anyone can.

Break it down into lots of little pieces rather than a big goal of 5 stone. And find out what motivates you, for me I love a good spreadsheet and being able to see my progress.

I use MyFitnessPal to track my food, even the high calorie junk food that sneaks in here and there. If i have a day where I go over then I start again the next day.

This is what weight loss has looked like for me.

I am in awe of this spreadsheet. It speaks to my soul and is a thing of beauty.

Same by the way OP. Also hate exercise.

duckme · 21/04/2021 15:41

I feel the same OP.
I'm 100% an emotional eater. The problem is, is that it doesn't matter what emotion it is. If I'm happy, I celebrate with food and if I'm feeling down, I drown my sorrows with food.
I lost a stone and a half last year. I'd got to the point that I actually started to enjoy the exercise programme I was on. And then it stopped. It was like a switch had been switched and all motivation went. The weight piled back on and I'm back to where I started.
I have an important event coming up. I need to lose at least a stone in a very short amount of time and I feel out of control with it all.

Crunchymum · 21/04/2021 15:41

I could have written this.

Except I don't feel capable, energetic, positive and decisive. I feel like crap most of the time (I do caveat this with the fact I have a chronic health condition and this did contribute to the weight gain BUT it's been mainly me that has caused this)

I made the decision a few months ago to make a change.

I try to stick to 1,400 cals a day and walk 10K steps and I have one day a week when I have a takeaway and wine.

I aim for 1lb a week and I've done a stone so far (several more to go!)

I find this is the most realistic way of doing things for me and my lifestyle and my enjoyment / pleasure. Don't get me wrong some days I want to eat my feelings and on occasion I have but I try to pull it back.

It may well take me a full year to lose the weight and I may have to tweak things as I go, cheat days may not work when not if!! I get closer to goal weight.

Every year as summer approaches, I feel utter desolation that I am going to have to suffer another summer of being fat. Well not next year!!!

My rambling does have a point. You need to find something sustainable, something realistic, something that works for you.

I do agree that CBT or counselling would also be helpful but I know it's not offered in my trust for this kind of thing (emotional eating etc)

Ratched · 21/04/2021 15:43

Not wanting to derail your thread OP, but everyone who raves about MFP, how the hell do you use it? Its obviously me, but if I have (for example) 2 cumberland sausages from the local butchers, the calories count range for 'cumberland sausage' is vast!
I cook from scratch. So if I make a chicken casserole, add bits here and there, DH and I eat most of it, but there is a large portion left over, how the hell do I record that????
I have tried numerous times with MFP, but unless one eats prepackaged stuff, it really is all guesswork!

For OP - you need to lose a fair bit of weight (for me, 3 stone), but cutting down just a little, simply does not work, because I constantly find excuses.
The only thing that works for me is to go in hard.
I actually find it really, really easy to eat one good, nutritious meal a day. And it works. I am healthy, I lose weight, I dont suffer.
But I have been eating breakfast, out of boredom more than hunger. Havung breakfast means I am hungry for lunch. Then dinner. Then a bit of chocolate. And a glass of wine.
If I eat a good, often 3 course, healthy but not restrictive dinner every evening, I have no hunger, no cravings, I lose weight and I feel good.

I am starting this again on Sunday.

You have inspired me 😁

1AngelicFruitCake · 21/04/2021 15:45

I’m about 2 stone overweight and it affects me everyday. I don’t know why I don’t lose it! I’m also motivated in other areas of my life. I think I feel I work hard so deserve a treat! I can’t get out of that mindset!

Ratched · 21/04/2021 15:46

Oh God what I would give for an edit button!

I wanted to say 'Op, you sound like me, we need to lose a fair bit of weight .......'

What I wrote reads horribly 😣

CookPassBabtridge · 21/04/2021 15:47

I went from 20 stone to 11 stone and it's a constant battle to not get big again. Food is just too good.. for taste, for stress relief, for socialialising, for boredom. Being slim is amazing in so many ways and you'd think that would be incentive enough but the call of food is strong.

Bul21ia · 21/04/2021 15:48

Can you join a gym OP? I think as you get older diet and exercise is needed. I did protein world and it definitely works but it is quite strict.

RightOnTheEdge · 21/04/2021 15:49

Ratched
That's a good question. That's why I gave up on MFP I don't think it ended up acurate for me because some things I couldn't work out the calories of when I cooked from scratch.

Love51 · 21/04/2021 15:51

Come and join the "Why we eat (too much)" thread. It is based on a book by Dr Andrew Jenkinson and looks at why people often gain rebound pounds after a diet, and how to prevent this. I'm not been hungry in the whole 6 weeks I've been doing this way of eating, which means I'm motivated to keep it up!

wildwildsouth · 21/04/2021 15:53

I feel the same. I'm happy with all aspects of my life except for this bloody weight. I also have about 5 stone to lose. I just can't get into it. Blush

LondonJax · 21/04/2021 15:54

Sorry, this is a long one. I'm exactly the same. Hate clothes shopping as nothing fits. I've tried all sorts of diets, all of which worked well for a time then weight crept back on. I'm currently 1.5 - 2 stone overweight (1.5 stone takes me to the top end of 'normal' BMI) but at 5ft 2inches that's very noticeable. I'm also well into the menopause which should be renamed 'weight loss pause' because when I was in my twenties I'd be able to lose a couple of pound by not having sugar in my tea for a few weeks - now I have to refuse all food (or so it seems)!

Anyway, I've come to realise that the problem is I get too obsessed with diets. I did Slimming World very successfully, for example, but we went out for my SIL birthday and I went through the menu beforehand working out what I could eat. I ended up ordering something that was a second or third choice as my first choice was too many syns. Which is ridiculous - paying for a meal you only half enjoy! I realised that as soon as I come off the diet I eat as I used to because I like food and I really don't want to give up cream or crisps or chocolate.

My problem isn't the food (my slim friends eat creamy desserts). My problem is the quantity of food and how often I eat those types of food. My friends will have a cream cake then have a sandwich for dinner. I'll have a cake and a full dinner. My excuse is that I'm doing dinner for the family and it's rude to not have a meal with them. Which is rubbish - I can have a sandwich whilst they tuck into spag bol if I've indulged earlier in the day... but I choose not to.

So I've been honest with myself. I like food. I eat home cooked food rather than processed most of the time. I eat too much of it.

So I'm halving the things on my plate when I can. I'm skipping breakfast as I can usually take it or leave it. If I'm hungry then I'll have one toast with marmalade (no butter) instead of two with butter and marmalade. But only if I'm hungry. I have a glass of water every morning before my shower as that'll satisfy me if it's thirst rather than hunger.

Lunch time I'll have half a sandwich instead of a whole one and a piece of fruit. If I'm peckish I'll fruit. But just one portion - a small apple for example. Give it half an hour to see if I'm still hungry (usually not). By which time it's nearly time to get dinner ready so I can wait.

Dinner I'll have half a jacket potato or half the amount of pasta I would normally have (or rice or whatever) and add vegetables. If it's spag bol or casserole I'll put about half that normal amount on. Fish or chicken or a pork chop I leave as it is!

Last week I did this with a curry. Half the rice, half the curry than usual and filled the rest of the plate with a sensible sized side portion of veg. So the plate is full but I've cut a few calories off the total on the plate. No idea how many calories I've taken off as I'm not counting but there's no way the veg adds up to calories of the chicken, sauce and rice I left off the plate.

If I have chips I'll have 10 chips - make up the rest of the plate with veg - and my normal size piece of fish rather than just whacking on an indiscriminate amount of chips. I normally have a yoghurt or fruit for dessert so they've stayed in.

Just by halving the potato, pasta, rice or whatever portion and having the bread in the sandwich I'm losing calories every day. If the calories I was taking in is maintaining the (high) weight, then losing some of them has to contribute to weight loss.

And, I got myself a 'desk bike' - exercise bike without the handlebars or seat. You sit wherever you're comfortable and pedal! I set myself a target of 500 calories used up per day. That's by the calorie-ometre on the 'bike' so may or may not be 500 calories actually. The point is it's a set number to aim for every day and any movement will burn calories. I do mine in front of the TV at night or I'll do 200 while the dinner cooks and 300 later. That way I can't get up to go and get a snack (my other downfall). I make sure I have a cuppa and some water already made before my programme starts, I don't have to go to the kitchen then so no temptation...and I pedal!

This way I can still have the same meals as everyone else - just less. I don't have to measure everything, I don't deny myself chocolate, I just buy a small bar and share that instead of a big sharing bar or a small bar to myself. I just need the taste/texture of chocolate now and then - I don't actually need the chocolate - if that makes sense.

I'm amazed how much extra food I was stuffing into myself because it was on my plate. I'm trying to train myself into thinking I can always get more if I need it rather than putting a huge portion on the plate and ploughing through it. So far I've not needed more at all each day which tells me something.

I found out that my very slim (size 6-8) sister who's had three kids and been the same weight for 30 years (yes I know) does the same. She's had half a sandwich for lunch every day for years, has chips as an after thought rather than a must have with her meal, will be happy with one roast potato but can't cope with no roasties etc. She does not deny herself anything, so she doesn't obsess about food. She just has a cake, enjoys it and cuts back in the next meal. She'll go to a buffet at a party and get 5-6 things then won't go back up.

So far (three weeks in) I've lost 8lb.

nexus63 · 21/04/2021 15:54

i can understand how you feel, i buy all the low calorie and salads then i give up after a few days, 4 years ago i was 13 stone, within a year i was down to 10, no dieting..i was ill with bowel cancer and could not keep food down, after cancer i went daft eating all the things i liked and went back up to 13 stone, now i am at 15 stone, my doctor realised the cause was not what i was eating, it was what i was drinking...2 litres of cola every day, diet drinks upset my stomach and give me the runs, i am now trying to drink less cola and more water, my son got me a treadmill and i am using that, most days i still get up and look at myself as i get dressed and think how disgusting i look, i have lost a half stone in the last 2 months, it is going to take me ages but i will keep trying. i wish you lots of hugs and good luck.

Crunchymum · 21/04/2021 15:55

@Ratched

It took a bit of trial and error for MFP but I have most of my home made meals in there.

For example when I make a spag bol it makes x4 portions so I did the maths on it (500g mince / 4 = 125g mince, passata 500g / 4 = 125g etc). I did the same with most things I cook and it did take a bit of time but all my meals are in my MFP profile now.

As you say some things vary in terms of calories, could you ask your butcher for the nutritional info and then you can add them in yourself?

BashfulClam · 21/04/2021 15:55

I’m about 5 stone overweight. I have lost a stone and a half and i’m doing it slowly as that’s been since February. I have lost a small amount each week apart from 1 and will just keep on going.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 21/04/2021 15:57

@Ratched I use the 'my recipes' feature for home cooked meals. I jot down what I'm throwing in the pot as I cook then set it up as a new recipe in MFP afterwards. You enter how many servings the meal makes and it works out the calories per serving. I also find that while some herbs, seasonings or whether it's green beans or sugar snap peas might change each time I make a version of a recipe the main elements like chicken thighs or mince stay the same so I can reuse the recipe in MFP over and over once it's in there.

I don't tend to buy from butchers as there aren't any decent ones near me so for things like sausages I just scan the barcode on the packet Grin

Defeated by my fatness - am I alone?
41FerrisWheels · 21/04/2021 16:08

@BreathingDeep I can empathise, I have tried ALL the diets, MFP, WW, OurPath, BHF, SlimFast; you name it, I've done it over the last 20 years but it either works short term or I end up giving up and feeling like a failure Sad So I decided to leave all the dieting behind and look into intuitive eating which I thought was just about 'listening to your body' but it's actually much more than just that and it's changing my whole mentality about diets, scales, restricting etc Anyway, well worth Googling Evelyn Tribole or you could listen to the interview she did on '10% happier' it sums it all up or she's got a website (and there are loads of IE counsellors in the UK now too which I am finding really helpful) Good luck with whatever way you decide to go xx

pixley · 21/04/2021 16:12

You need to listen to the podcasts by Clair MacKenzie. They have changed my life, can’t recommend them enough.

ThatOtherPoster · 21/04/2021 16:12

I'm capable, energetic, positive and decisive. I'm incredibly ambitious. I have a wonderful family and great friends

You sound amazing!!

I’m all or nothing too. I did brilliantly on WW recently - lost 4 stone in just over a year. That sounds ages but the first 3 fell off in under 5 months, the last stone took the longest.

I loved it. The app is SO GOOD. I can’t recommend it enough. It taught me control abd the power of the Baby Step. 👍🏻

Roussette · 21/04/2021 16:17

Can I ask all users of MyFP.... do you have the premium version? Did you pay for it?
I am 2 weeks in on it, so using the premium version as it's free for a month, but wondered if I needed to pay or not?
I don't want to lose the bits I do use

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 21/04/2021 16:22

Yes Op totally understand - am at least 3 stone overweight and just not got the mindset to do anything about it.
But the other day l nearly went to have a bowl ice cream after lunch and stopped myself and thought how much better and in control l would feel if l didn't have it
And it really worked. I mean it is only a tiny little thing but mentally l felt great.
I do think though my friend's and family love me for who l am and they couldn't care less what the scales say but it bothers me everyday.
Menopause and being over 40 doesn't help.

BadGuyDuh · 21/04/2021 16:25

@LondonJax

Sorry, this is a long one. I'm exactly the same. Hate clothes shopping as nothing fits. I've tried all sorts of diets, all of which worked well for a time then weight crept back on. I'm currently 1.5 - 2 stone overweight (1.5 stone takes me to the top end of 'normal' BMI) but at 5ft 2inches that's very noticeable. I'm also well into the menopause which should be renamed 'weight loss pause' because when I was in my twenties I'd be able to lose a couple of pound by not having sugar in my tea for a few weeks - now I have to refuse all food (or so it seems)!

Anyway, I've come to realise that the problem is I get too obsessed with diets. I did Slimming World very successfully, for example, but we went out for my SIL birthday and I went through the menu beforehand working out what I could eat. I ended up ordering something that was a second or third choice as my first choice was too many syns. Which is ridiculous - paying for a meal you only half enjoy! I realised that as soon as I come off the diet I eat as I used to because I like food and I really don't want to give up cream or crisps or chocolate.

My problem isn't the food (my slim friends eat creamy desserts). My problem is the quantity of food and how often I eat those types of food. My friends will have a cream cake then have a sandwich for dinner. I'll have a cake and a full dinner. My excuse is that I'm doing dinner for the family and it's rude to not have a meal with them. Which is rubbish - I can have a sandwich whilst they tuck into spag bol if I've indulged earlier in the day... but I choose not to.

So I've been honest with myself. I like food. I eat home cooked food rather than processed most of the time. I eat too much of it.

So I'm halving the things on my plate when I can. I'm skipping breakfast as I can usually take it or leave it. If I'm hungry then I'll have one toast with marmalade (no butter) instead of two with butter and marmalade. But only if I'm hungry. I have a glass of water every morning before my shower as that'll satisfy me if it's thirst rather than hunger.

Lunch time I'll have half a sandwich instead of a whole one and a piece of fruit. If I'm peckish I'll fruit. But just one portion - a small apple for example. Give it half an hour to see if I'm still hungry (usually not). By which time it's nearly time to get dinner ready so I can wait.

Dinner I'll have half a jacket potato or half the amount of pasta I would normally have (or rice or whatever) and add vegetables. If it's spag bol or casserole I'll put about half that normal amount on. Fish or chicken or a pork chop I leave as it is!

Last week I did this with a curry. Half the rice, half the curry than usual and filled the rest of the plate with a sensible sized side portion of veg. So the plate is full but I've cut a few calories off the total on the plate. No idea how many calories I've taken off as I'm not counting but there's no way the veg adds up to calories of the chicken, sauce and rice I left off the plate.

If I have chips I'll have 10 chips - make up the rest of the plate with veg - and my normal size piece of fish rather than just whacking on an indiscriminate amount of chips. I normally have a yoghurt or fruit for dessert so they've stayed in.

Just by halving the potato, pasta, rice or whatever portion and having the bread in the sandwich I'm losing calories every day. If the calories I was taking in is maintaining the (high) weight, then losing some of them has to contribute to weight loss.

And, I got myself a 'desk bike' - exercise bike without the handlebars or seat. You sit wherever you're comfortable and pedal! I set myself a target of 500 calories used up per day. That's by the calorie-ometre on the 'bike' so may or may not be 500 calories actually. The point is it's a set number to aim for every day and any movement will burn calories. I do mine in front of the TV at night or I'll do 200 while the dinner cooks and 300 later. That way I can't get up to go and get a snack (my other downfall). I make sure I have a cuppa and some water already made before my programme starts, I don't have to go to the kitchen then so no temptation...and I pedal!

This way I can still have the same meals as everyone else - just less. I don't have to measure everything, I don't deny myself chocolate, I just buy a small bar and share that instead of a big sharing bar or a small bar to myself. I just need the taste/texture of chocolate now and then - I don't actually need the chocolate - if that makes sense.

I'm amazed how much extra food I was stuffing into myself because it was on my plate. I'm trying to train myself into thinking I can always get more if I need it rather than putting a huge portion on the plate and ploughing through it. So far I've not needed more at all each day which tells me something.

I found out that my very slim (size 6-8) sister who's had three kids and been the same weight for 30 years (yes I know) does the same. She's had half a sandwich for lunch every day for years, has chips as an after thought rather than a must have with her meal, will be happy with one roast potato but can't cope with no roasties etc. She does not deny herself anything, so she doesn't obsess about food. She just has a cake, enjoys it and cuts back in the next meal. She'll go to a buffet at a party and get 5-6 things then won't go back up.

So far (three weeks in) I've lost 8lb.

So glad you wrote that! I'm a week into doing the same. I have faced and voiced the fact that my habits were to overeat because it's nice and I didn't feel full until too late. I'm not "overweight" even and have never lost weight, I've always eaten a healthy ish diet... just too much. I just need to lose a layer of fat around my middle. I'm not expecting it to be quick or easy but i'm motivated!
HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 21/04/2021 16:28

@Roussette no I don't have premium, tried it free for a month but didn't see the value as I don't really use all the detailed macros stuff. The free version tells you how much carb, protein and fat you eat in a day/week/month which is as much detail as I want.

Swipe left for the next trending thread