Sorry, this is a long one. I'm exactly the same. Hate clothes shopping as nothing fits. I've tried all sorts of diets, all of which worked well for a time then weight crept back on. I'm currently 1.5 - 2 stone overweight (1.5 stone takes me to the top end of 'normal' BMI) but at 5ft 2inches that's very noticeable. I'm also well into the menopause which should be renamed 'weight loss pause' because when I was in my twenties I'd be able to lose a couple of pound by not having sugar in my tea for a few weeks - now I have to refuse all food (or so it seems)!
Anyway, I've come to realise that the problem is I get too obsessed with diets. I did Slimming World very successfully, for example, but we went out for my SIL birthday and I went through the menu beforehand working out what I could eat. I ended up ordering something that was a second or third choice as my first choice was too many syns. Which is ridiculous - paying for a meal you only half enjoy! I realised that as soon as I come off the diet I eat as I used to because I like food and I really don't want to give up cream or crisps or chocolate.
My problem isn't the food (my slim friends eat creamy desserts). My problem is the quantity of food and how often I eat those types of food. My friends will have a cream cake then have a sandwich for dinner. I'll have a cake and a full dinner. My excuse is that I'm doing dinner for the family and it's rude to not have a meal with them. Which is rubbish - I can have a sandwich whilst they tuck into spag bol if I've indulged earlier in the day... but I choose not to.
So I've been honest with myself. I like food. I eat home cooked food rather than processed most of the time. I eat too much of it.
So I'm halving the things on my plate when I can. I'm skipping breakfast as I can usually take it or leave it. If I'm hungry then I'll have one toast with marmalade (no butter) instead of two with butter and marmalade. But only if I'm hungry. I have a glass of water every morning before my shower as that'll satisfy me if it's thirst rather than hunger.
Lunch time I'll have half a sandwich instead of a whole one and a piece of fruit. If I'm peckish I'll fruit. But just one portion - a small apple for example. Give it half an hour to see if I'm still hungry (usually not). By which time it's nearly time to get dinner ready so I can wait.
Dinner I'll have half a jacket potato or half the amount of pasta I would normally have (or rice or whatever) and add vegetables. If it's spag bol or casserole I'll put about half that normal amount on. Fish or chicken or a pork chop I leave as it is!
Last week I did this with a curry. Half the rice, half the curry than usual and filled the rest of the plate with a sensible sized side portion of veg. So the plate is full but I've cut a few calories off the total on the plate. No idea how many calories I've taken off as I'm not counting but there's no way the veg adds up to calories of the chicken, sauce and rice I left off the plate.
If I have chips I'll have 10 chips - make up the rest of the plate with veg - and my normal size piece of fish rather than just whacking on an indiscriminate amount of chips. I normally have a yoghurt or fruit for dessert so they've stayed in.
Just by halving the potato, pasta, rice or whatever portion and having the bread in the sandwich I'm losing calories every day. If the calories I was taking in is maintaining the (high) weight, then losing some of them has to contribute to weight loss.
And, I got myself a 'desk bike' - exercise bike without the handlebars or seat. You sit wherever you're comfortable and pedal! I set myself a target of 500 calories used up per day. That's by the calorie-ometre on the 'bike' so may or may not be 500 calories actually. The point is it's a set number to aim for every day and any movement will burn calories. I do mine in front of the TV at night or I'll do 200 while the dinner cooks and 300 later. That way I can't get up to go and get a snack (my other downfall). I make sure I have a cuppa and some water already made before my programme starts, I don't have to go to the kitchen then so no temptation...and I pedal!
This way I can still have the same meals as everyone else - just less. I don't have to measure everything, I don't deny myself chocolate, I just buy a small bar and share that instead of a big sharing bar or a small bar to myself. I just need the taste/texture of chocolate now and then - I don't actually need the chocolate - if that makes sense.
I'm amazed how much extra food I was stuffing into myself because it was on my plate. I'm trying to train myself into thinking I can always get more if I need it rather than putting a huge portion on the plate and ploughing through it. So far I've not needed more at all each day which tells me something.
I found out that my very slim (size 6-8) sister who's had three kids and been the same weight for 30 years (yes I know) does the same. She's had half a sandwich for lunch every day for years, has chips as an after thought rather than a must have with her meal, will be happy with one roast potato but can't cope with no roasties etc. She does not deny herself anything, so she doesn't obsess about food. She just has a cake, enjoys it and cuts back in the next meal. She'll go to a buffet at a party and get 5-6 things then won't go back up.
So far (three weeks in) I've lost 8lb.