To be shaken up by this and insistent over it not happening again?

[Boursinfan]

So my 2.5 year old DS’s grandparents look after him once a week. They dropped him back home today and said there had been an accident. He fell into their garden pond, luckily they were out there and got him out straight away. He was soaked, so his grandma gave him a bath and put some dry clothes on him.
She just messaged me and said she felt dreadful and it was a genuine accident etc.
My mind is now going over the what ifs. I gently asked if they were going to get a cover for it now and she said they’ll “try to”.
They’re my DP’s parents, I feel like maybe he should speak to them. But he’ll brush it off as no big deal, as DS is fine, apart from a little shaken up. I’m also concerned he swallowed some of the water by accident and might get ill. There are algae and newts in there.
Should I insist they get a cover if my partner won’t? I feel awkward, but at the same time I’m not going to be able to relax when he’s at their house otherwise. They’re usually very diligent and careful, so I’m very surprised it happened at all really.

Pond or pool, no supervsion can be 100%. That's why pools need fences, ponds need covers. A small child at the beach needs watching 100% of the time, and a child on a boat needs a full life jacket.

Secondary drowning is extremely rare and happens after much nearer misses than this seems to have been. But yes, the ILs need to pull their finger out.

If DS is flu-ey or unwell in the next few days, take him to the GP, mention the pond and ask about Weil's disease

Also, why was he standing close enough to the pond to drop his train in and wasnt having his hand held firmly? That is very very poor

@AppleDolphin

Tell them this In the UK 111 children under the age of five have drowned during the last decade in garden ponds.

Where did you get that figure? According to PHE 13 children die of drowning each year, 40% in the bath. Does OP trust her pil to bathe their dc?

They were there, they fished him out.

Suffocation and strangulation are ore of a risk.

Ponds are great for wildlife (and for children)

I haven't read the full thread, but some friends of my mums were looking after their grandson. Their pond was fenced, with a gate. The boy managed to undo the gate and let himself in. He drowned. You can imagine the devastation all round. It definitely needs that thick metal mesh/grille at least for a few years. It really isn't worth the risk.

When I was young I remember my dad filling in our pond because next door had a baby and he was concerned. This was about 30 odd years ago.

The depth of the pond is not going to guarantee safety, a child can fall and hit their head. Children have drowned in puddles.

I may sound alarmist but I will never forget what happened to the people we knew.

@Lndnmummy

The child did not fall in whilst supervised, that didn’t happen, a supervised toddler would not fall in the pond. I suspect this part is pure fabrication. It would raise serious trust issues and red flags.

Of course he was being supervised, if he wasn't being supervised, he'd be dead.

You can be standing right next to them & the can still slip.

Whehn my 2-year-old brother nearly drowned in a pool, the pool was fenced. He (or possibly I, I was five), opened the gate and got in within seconds...

Get it sorted . My son was with three family members ( not me ) and he was sat watching the fish on the side of the pond . They were distracted for a second and somehow he slid in so they never even heard a sound . They pulled him out face down . Luckily he was ok , but it was horrible . We have a pool at our house and the first thing I did was have a gate put in and even then I still worry .

Zero chance my child would be going without a pond cover AND a parent/grandparent out at all times. An acquaintance has a child who fell in the pond, under the water less than 10 seconds, but the suspicion is secondary drowning as they now have seizures up to 50 times a day. Not worth the risk in any way.

@Allthefilmsarecrap

God my eyes popped out my head reading this. I honestly wouldn’t let him back till it was covered but I’m a worst case scenario type of person.

I agree with this and I'm not a worst case scenario person.

appletonP .... what a stupid idiotic comment ... children can drown in 2 inches of water ffs

I think people are being quite odd when they say the depth matters - children can drown in an inch of water.

It should be fenced.

Frankly OP if you let your child go back there without a covering to the pond then you are being extremely irresponsible.

Protect your child. Even if that means feeling like you’re making demands.

Just get it for them. Maybe if they think it's a big thing to do so and not be bothered. On the other hand it's an accident, they'll be more careful, try to relax

I echo what another poster said about having a relative who was a police officer who encountered several children drowning in ponds over his career, most often at grandparents’ houses. He was haunted by it and emphasised to us all to be incredibly vigilant around garden ponds.

@Pythonesque

I can vouch for pond grids. We moved into our place with a newborn and a just three year old, and got a grid installed by the first summer I think. It worked really well and meant they could still be shown things in the pond.

Eventually my husband decided it was time to remove it (both were over twelve by that point); but I slightly regret that as I'm now teaching violin to small children at home and it would be nice sometimes to be able to let them or their siblings go out and look at the fish! Well, they still can but only with 110% supervision...

Put another cover on?

@Boursinfan will you get your son checked out? Secondary drowning is very serious.

They will make sure it never happens again. You say they are usually diligent so will be even more so now, including getting a cover.

I remember the same thing happening to me when I was little.

I’m not sure how big it is, and how a cover would work.

I would worry that with a cover on, they’d become complacent, and an accident could still happen. I would want it to be fenced.

This is not a reflection on them, or some insinuation that they can’t look after their grandson adequately (well, they perhaps can’t, but nonetheless).

All ponds need to made 100% safe with toddlers around. They have to be. Because accidents can, and do, happen so quickly.

@AppletonP

How deep is it. Can he stand? If he can stand I wouldn't be hugely fussed. If he can't then it needs a cover.

No

Toddlers can drown in an inch or two of water -even in a Bath where they are used to standing up. They just get a fright then lay there, they aren't able to stand up.

OP, sorry but I think you are also at fault for leaving your child at a property with an unfenced pond. You cant even take young children to stay in a holiday cottage that has an unfenced pond.
The best parents in the world can be distracted and it only takes a second for a child to drown.
Get your child checked for secondary drowning and buy them a decent metal cover before he goes there again.

@SaturdayRocks pond covers tend to be metal grids that go over the pond. Imagine an iron mesh. It’s like that so you can still see in it but you can’t fall in.