To be shaken up by this and insistent over it not happening again?

[Boursinfan]

So my 2.5 year old DS’s grandparents look after him once a week. They dropped him back home today and said there had been an accident. He fell into their garden pond, luckily they were out there and got him out straight away. He was soaked, so his grandma gave him a bath and put some dry clothes on him.
She just messaged me and said she felt dreadful and it was a genuine accident etc.
My mind is now going over the what ifs. I gently asked if they were going to get a cover for it now and she said they’ll “try to”.
They’re my DP’s parents, I feel like maybe he should speak to them. But he’ll brush it off as no big deal, as DS is fine, apart from a little shaken up. I’m also concerned he swallowed some of the water by accident and might get ill. There are algae and newts in there.
Should I insist they get a cover if my partner won’t? I feel awkward, but at the same time I’m not going to be able to relax when he’s at their house otherwise. They’re usually very diligent and careful, so I’m very surprised it happened at all really.

[elfies]

Offer to pay for a safety cover or fence . You could stop worrying and they perhaps couldn't afford it

[namesnamesnamesnames]

Buy the cover for them. As soon as my parents became grandparents (I wasn't first) they covered the pond with a metal grid, it's so strong nothing could get through it.

[Blindstupid]

Yet another stupid idiotic comment local

Children can drown in less than 2” of water ... maybe just think about that before posting a dangerous, misinformed comment.

[Madamum18]

The point is that at home there is more chance of focus being distracted onto other things ... when out in less familiar places, vigilance and lack of other distractions ( eg phone, doorbell, neighbour calling, ) makes it safer per se. Its not about doing nothing to avoid literally all risk, but to have a home set up with a known high risk item whilst doing regular childcare of your own or another's child, should not happen

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Exactly ..NO child should be in a garden with an uncovered pond!! Yet I see lots of parents taking their children to see the ducks. Is the difference that one has a temptation to relax one's vigilance when it's a shallow pond in a garden as opposed to the obvious danger of a lake in a park?

[Madamum18]

but had turned their back for just a second apparently.

Exactly ..NO child should be in a garden with an uncovered pond!!

[Taikoo]

Your inlaws are idiots.
All toddlers ever do is fall over.
And they are attracted to the most highly dangerous things - like flies on shit.
It's almost impossible to keep them away from unfenced bodies of water. It's the first thing they run for.

I know of a small child who quietly drowned in a backyard family unfenced pond at a first communion party.
Loads of people there milling around the place, no one saw the child drown, even though they were all out in the garden and near the pond.

[Maggiesfarm]

Prices vary but they are not that expensive.

pondsafety.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxNauzaWU8AIVjcLtCh3xTQQHEAAYASAAEgIEOPD_BwE

[Singlenotsingle]

Maybe they can't afford it. It can't be cheap. I think you and your dp should offer to pay for it.

[MrsBadcrumble123]

@Bebethanyand the worst type of people on these posts are the ‘nah it’s fine’ because they are ignorant to real and scary things that can happen and probably the type of people who I’ll be reading about online that something awful has happened to .., and I’ll think ‘why on earth didn’t they ’

[April506]

My son fell head first age 2 into grandparents pond. We were right with him. He was fine. They went out and bought pond mesh that day and fitted it . My son never went near the pond again. Had we been indoors he would have died.
My friends two years old drowned in minutes slipping through the fence into the neighbours garden. My guess is that they will be on the case now getting a cover / mess sorted.
Please don't wallow in what ifs... its not good for you x

[Bekstar]

Maybe try buying one yourself if she is looking after your child. It should be covered yes

[Butwasitherdriveway]

OP, has everyone given your family members enough of a pounding yet?

[Butwasitherdriveway]

My god.

What ridiculous posts.

[Bebethany]

Shouldn’t think they want their dead grandchild on their conscious either!!
Just look at some of the post ‘back in my day’ and ‘when we were small, we jumped in ditches and sewage plants etc’ .... what is it with some people, try being a paramedic and resuscitating a drowned child!!! 👹

[Butwasitherdriveway]

@JackieLavertysWeirdVoice

It sounds like they were right there with him.

Nah. The child had time to get to the pond, unrestrained; then drop in his toy train, unnoticed; and then go in after it. He was fully soaked.

Mm. Yet they managed to pull him out within j seconds.

[Butwasitherdriveway]

@loopylindi

my neice's children were visiting MiL and the little one investigated bedroom, found some pills....and ended up in AandE. OK now but a warning

In what way does that relate to OP?

[nanbread]

If they truly feel horrible that this has happened they will sort it out.

Why should THEY sort it out? It's OP's responsibility to care for her child, the GPs don't want it covered obviously

[FreyaFromTheFens]

Without wanting to sound dramatic, I almost drowned in a garden pond when I was small and my DM was chatting to her friend and got distracted.
My work colleague cares for her DGS who the same thing happened to as a toddler and is now a non-verbal and paralyzed from the neck down teenager.
The pond gets fenced off or he doesn't go again - you have to be firm on this.

[Bebethany]

Mrsbadcrumble and bemusedmouse both write scary things, the worst vice in the world is advice, so don’t do it, suggestions maybe. You are you and not other people?

[MrsBadcrumble123]

@bemusedmoose is the scariest advice I’ve seen. Please don’t practice this in real life you are endangering your kids through your own self righteous/perfect parent mentality

[LynnShelley]

bemusedmoose
I taught my 7 year old about the risks of crossing roads, traffic etc. Thought he was a reasonably sensible boy. He still ran across the road without looking and got hit by a car. I was standing next to him helping his younger sister down from the school bus. Children don't always think straight and accidents happen. That's why you teach children about danger but still protect them until their brains have developed properly. So personally I would explain this to the grandparents and not go there with the children until the pond was covered / filled in or fenced.

[Bebethany]

The bemusedmooseis naive to variables in life.

[ChairmansReserve]

@bemusedmoose
You can fence and net them but unless you teach children from day one not to run near them, to only look in on there hands an knees, don't lean over... Then they are still at risk of falling in.

Er, no. We have a solid metal grid over our pond, nailed to a wooden frame. I couldn't move it if I tried for ten years. No one is going to fall through that.

Congratulations on not drowning in your family's unsafe pond. The children who DID drown in their family's unsafe ponds aren't here to share their stories.

[bemusedmoose]

I had 2 ponds in my garden growing up, never fell in never had an accident because I was told how to behave around ponds!

You can fence and net them but unless you teach children from day one not to run near them, to only look in on there hands an knees, don't lean over... Then they are still at risk of falling in. Same with pools - kids will fall in or jump in unless taught how to behave around them.