To be shaken up by this and insistent over it not happening again?

[Boursinfan]

So my 2.5 year old DS’s grandparents look after him once a week. They dropped him back home today and said there had been an accident. He fell into their garden pond, luckily they were out there and got him out straight away. He was soaked, so his grandma gave him a bath and put some dry clothes on him.
She just messaged me and said she felt dreadful and it was a genuine accident etc.
My mind is now going over the what ifs. I gently asked if they were going to get a cover for it now and she said they’ll “try to”.
They’re my DP’s parents, I feel like maybe he should speak to them. But he’ll brush it off as no big deal, as DS is fine, apart from a little shaken up. I’m also concerned he swallowed some of the water by accident and might get ill. There are algae and newts in there.
Should I insist they get a cover if my partner won’t? I feel awkward, but at the same time I’m not going to be able to relax when he’s at their house otherwise. They’re usually very diligent and careful, so I’m very surprised it happened at all really.

[boon]

100% they must cover the pond. We paid for a gridded cover for ours as soon as we moved here with young children. 'On average 5 under 6's die every year in ponds' - ROSPA
Do not send him back there until the pond is covered its non negotiable as far as Im concerned.

[MixedUpFiles]

I do agree that it’s reasonable for you to help them figure out what kind of cover to get and possibly even to pay for some or all of the cost. It of course depends on their financial situation and if they are willing to accept a strictly utilitarian vs splurging for a more attractive model.

[Susannahmoody]

No cover? No grandchild visits. Simple

[JFD0201]

Please ask yourself who your priority is - I've been exactly in that situation and I chose not to take my child there any longer as trust completely gone. They've chosen not to put a cover over the pond so their priorities are with the pond instead of your child. So you choose not to take them there as that is your prerogative. - they have a choice and so do you so don't feel bad protecting your child x

[Bebethany]

I totally agree Mrsbadcrumble. I spent decades on a frontline ambulance and people that don’t take these situations seriously are living in a dream world.

[Maggiesfarm]

I'm sure your in laws will cover their pond now, op.

I said earlier on in the thread that I fell into a garden pond as a child. My dad was with me, he had taken me to see some friends of his on a Sunday morning which I liked very much. I was quite little. We were all in their garden and in the pond I went! I remember when I got home my mum was cross, I felt she was cross with me but she was probably just annoyed at what had happened.

Accidents happen, thank goodness your child is safe but I feel certain the grandparents will not let that happen again.

[MontanaDuke]

We had a huge pond which we inherited from previous owners as soon as I found out I was pregnant I had it filled in it was an accident waiting to happen it only takes seconds for something to happen 😳
Your in laws need to respect your concerns they either properly cover it securely or your son goes to childminder

[bossyrossy]

The cleft chestnut paling fencing round my pond (pictured on page 14) was a cheap solution costing around £60. A toddler would not be able to climb over it.

[LouiseTrees]

I’d just go buy them a cover and insist the install in

[190190tnt]

I would take this round saying ' I'm a bit worried it might happen again, can we use this for the time being?'

[Odoreida]

Hi there, my mother had a pond and a little boy (my son's friend) fell in - she was actually watching him at the time and the boy's mother was there too and he still managed it! It was absolutely terrifying for everyone involved. She bought a trellis cover the next day, of course. Doing anything else would be ridiculous. I wouldn't let my child be there unless she sorts it - and I am a very relaxed person usually and happy to leave my child in the care of other adults. Hope you get it sorted.

[loopylindi]

my neice's children were visiting MiL and the little one investigated bedroom, found some pills....and ended up in AandE. OK now but a warning

[BlessedBeTheFruitCake]

No one with a pond expects a child to drown in it but it does happen, no matter how vigilant you think you are. My parents have a large, deep pond and my nephew fell in during a family BBQ a few years ago, thankfully he was ok. It is still uncovered because they believe children need to learn not to go near it, we don’t visit them there anymore.

[chaosmaker]

@Sparrowfeeder

Ponds are really important for wildlife and newts are a protected species. Fencing works. Teach your kids to handle risk!

This. Wildlife is precious and your DH can get them to fence it off to make it safe. All the filling it in people needs to get a grip. Looking to the future, we need all the nature intact - like real, actual grass in gardens as well instead of plastic fake grass.

[loveliesbleeding1]

Unbelievable! I wouldn’t let our PUPPY out in the garden until our pond had been fenced off and covered,dreadful that his own Grandparents aren’t happy to do this.

[bemusedmoose]

I had 2 ponds in my garden growing up, never fell in never had an accident because I was told how to behave around ponds!

You can fence and net them but unless you teach children from day one not to run near them, to only look in on there hands an knees, don't lean over... Then they are still at risk of falling in. Same with pools - kids will fall in or jump in unless taught how to behave around them.

[ChairmansReserve]

@bemusedmoose
You can fence and net them but unless you teach children from day one not to run near them, to only look in on there hands an knees, don't lean over... Then they are still at risk of falling in.

Er, no. We have a solid metal grid over our pond, nailed to a wooden frame. I couldn't move it if I tried for ten years. No one is going to fall through that.

Congratulations on not drowning in your family's unsafe pond. The children who DID drown in their family's unsafe ponds aren't here to share their stories.

[Bebethany]

The bemusedmooseis naive to variables in life.

[LynnShelley]

bemusedmoose
I taught my 7 year old about the risks of crossing roads, traffic etc. Thought he was a reasonably sensible boy. He still ran across the road without looking and got hit by a car. I was standing next to him helping his younger sister down from the school bus. Children don't always think straight and accidents happen. That's why you teach children about danger but still protect them until their brains have developed properly. So personally I would explain this to the grandparents and not go there with the children until the pond was covered / filled in or fenced.

[MrsBadcrumble123]

@bemusedmoose is the scariest advice I’ve seen. Please don’t practice this in real life you are endangering your kids through your own self righteous/perfect parent mentality

[Bebethany]

Mrsbadcrumble and bemusedmouse both write scary things, the worst vice in the world is advice, so don’t do it, suggestions maybe. You are you and not other people?

[FreyaFromTheFens]

Without wanting to sound dramatic, I almost drowned in a garden pond when I was small and my DM was chatting to her friend and got distracted.
My work colleague cares for her DGS who the same thing happened to as a toddler and is now a non-verbal and paralyzed from the neck down teenager.
The pond gets fenced off or he doesn't go again - you have to be firm on this.

[nanbread]

If they truly feel horrible that this has happened they will sort it out.

Why should THEY sort it out? It's OP's responsibility to care for her child, the GPs don't want it covered obviously

[Butwasitherdriveway]

@loopylindi

my neice's children were visiting MiL and the little one investigated bedroom, found some pills....and ended up in AandE. OK now but a warning

In what way does that relate to OP?

[Butwasitherdriveway]

@JackieLavertysWeirdVoice

It sounds like they were right there with him.

Nah. The child had time to get to the pond, unrestrained; then drop in his toy train, unnoticed; and then go in after it. He was fully soaked.

Mm. Yet they managed to pull him out within j seconds.