To stop making my kids dinner?

[CarbsAreNotMyFriend]

Hear me out. I probably won't let them starve.

But it is soul-destroying making dinner every night for them to then moan and whinge, complain about any sign of a vegetable, look at the plate like it is diseased, and ultimately most of it ends up in the bin. I feel it would be easier to cut out the middle man and scrape their dinner straight into the bin.

I don't serve them anything controversial. Just things like bolognese, lasagne, chicken & rice, pasta etc. But you'd think I was serving them chopped liver.

WIBU to just give in, serve them anything in breadcrumbs or in a bun, and give them a multi-vitamin for desert? 😁

This is a great tip. I think I do this already, but maybe I need to reduce to a thimble-full 😁 Then I can take a small victory if they eat it all

Yes and don’t worry, you can increase it gradually once they get used to clearing their plate they won’t notice and extra forkful on each meal.

My DDs are funny about cooked veg but love it raw so that could be worth a try. They also love corn in the cob and eat more on the cob than just kernels. Could be worth a try. Good luck 🤞

OP I remember a point in time where I gave my DC sausage rolls. One liked the pastry and the other liked the sausage so they did a trade. 😂 if only they’d worked out an agreement for all their other meals!

Yep! Feels like I've given up.
My ds likes mashed potato, carrots, broccoli, peas and sweetcorn with gravy and Yorkshire pudding. That's his favourite main meal and pretty much the only one he will eat. So I do it A LOT 😭

(I realise it sounds healthy but it's very limiting when he won't eat cheese, rice, pasta and a ton of other stuff)

Yanbu!

If you want to cook rather than buy and cook from frozen it's quite easy to make chicken in breadcrumbs, fish cakes etc and can make home made wedges and fries.

But that really depends on whether it's what you're feeding them that you're worried about or whether it's because you like cooking

I always did veg sticks on a plate, beans, peas etc.

Keep going. Despite the slog it pays off in the end. Mine are 12 and 10 and reasonably good eaters now.

You just have to rinse and repeat year in year out. Eventually it seeps into their souls ...

When mine were 10, 7 and 6 i was sick of them pushing away beautiful, wholesome meals, cooked from scratch. They wanted "normal " food like their friends had! We shopped together one day and, having alerted the cashier not to start checking out, I took a trolley full of coke, chicken nuggets, chips and pizzas and unloaded it on the belt. Oh you should have seen their horrified faces!!!! Lesson learnt and they quickly helped put it all back!

YANBU, feed them what they will eat. Less stress for everyone. Nobody needs a battle at dinner time. I would try and make sure they eat fruit, babybels, yogurt etc throughout the day.

They usually come out the other side aged about 15...

When mine were 10, 7 and 6 i was sick of them pushing away beautiful, wholesome meals, cooked from scratch. They wanted "normal " food like their friends had! We shopped together one day and, having alerted the cashier not to start checking out, I took a trolley full of coke, chicken nuggets, chips and pizzas and unloaded it on the belt. Oh you should have seen their horrified faces!!!! Lesson learnt and they quickly helped put it all back!

Would have backfired in my house as they would have been delighted.

Why does the food end up in the bin? If it’s not eaten at the table it gets put in the fridge and offered again the next day.

I remember my mum also using this technique and after a week of picking at the same re-heated plate, I quickly learnt to eat what was offered

What happens if they don’t eat it the next day? Does it get reheated multiple times if nothing else, is it not unsafe to reheat food multiple times?

I do sympathise.

But also, don't let a 4 and 7 year old chose their diet. Maybe a Friday night dinner. Healthy eating in childhood sets up habits for life, esp fruit and veg. I know some kids are fussy - my sister was one and she mostly only ate peas for veg, but she gradually improved 😁

I'd suggest as others have, reduce the portion size so they can finish. Include one or two veg types. They have to eat at least half of the veg portion if they want (insert incentive eg 30 mins cbeebies).

You can do this!

@allaboutthecrisps

When mine were 10, 7 and 6 i was sick of them pushing away beautiful, wholesome meals, cooked from scratch. They wanted "normal " food like their friends had! We shopped together one day and, having alerted the cashier not to start checking out, I took a trolley full of coke, chicken nuggets, chips and pizzas and unloaded it on the belt. Oh you should have seen their horrified faces!!!! Lesson learnt and they quickly helped put it all back!

Would have backfired in my house as they would have been delighted.

Mine too!

Oh my ,how things have changed ,i ate what was put in front of me and was thankfull for it ,i would not have dared turn my nose up at anything ,a because i would have hurt my nanas or mams feelings and b because i would have not had any choice or say so would have starved and i know for a fact they would have taken it away and i would not be offered anything else ,its called discipline and respect ,try instilling it in your kids ,when i first read your message i thought maybe you were talking about adult kids ,i was litetally gobsmacked when you said they were 4 and 7 ! Un effing be lievable !

I've found things that can be assembled themselves (fajitas/jacket pots/burrito bowls) work really well in getting fussy esters to try new things because there is no pressure and there's always something they like to fill up on.

When dd1 went through a super fussy stage all she would eat was pasta so we had that on set night, therefore there was no arguing on non pasta nights! So maybe have beige food Friday's or fish and chip Wednesday when you can have a night off.

TBH I'm fed up of mine being picky, they are 11 and nearly 14 and I haven't got the headspace for it anymore. There are too many other things to get cross about. Quite often they get their own tea, its either a ready meal (DS2 has this as his preferred option), pasts with pesto (perhaps with tuna or sausages), a chicken roast dinner on a Sunday, supernoodles and hotdogs, older one likes Toad in the Hole, but prefers a ready meal version to anything I make, sausage sandwiches, sweet and sour chicken with rice, bolognese or chilli con carne (without chilli) with rice, filled pasta with tinned tomatoes or pesto. Once a week we have a take away, either Chinese/Kebab/Chip shop. When they were babies I did most of their food from scratch for many years and this continued well into their childhoods. They have just got fussier and I can no longer deal with it. For lunch they like beans on toast or humus and breadsticks or a Greggs. DS2 has the same packed lunch every time, a bagel with Mattersons pork sausage, some crisps, a kitkat and a carton of pure orange. I sporadically buy grapes, raspberries etc. DS1 eats Muller Corners. DS 2 likes Heinz Tomato Soup. I'm hoping and fairly sure that they will grow out of it at some stage, although there are probaby a couple of things they like that I've missed, or they are partial to a Subway and DS1 likes Sushi and Chicken Satay.

Yes, give them what they want. Usually they grow out of this phase eventually and eat a wider range of foods. My kids are quite good eaters apart from my dd who is autistic and is very fussy with food. There's no point trying with certain foods because she just point blank won't eat it and would rather starve. If we have bolognese or curry, she has a jacket potato or cheese sandwich instead because she has a real phobia about these things and I'm not going to force her. Chicken nuggets and fish fingers are fine, just find a veg they like and serve that with it. Eldest DS used to be fussy too and still is with some things but now eats a lot more than he used to.

@pickingdaisies

If they will eat fruit and crudités, then why not serve that? Will they eat baked potato with cheddar? Egg fried rice? Plain pasta? With the crudités on the side. My DD had a problem with the texture of some food for a while. Bolognese and pasta, were too slimy I think. It was a phase that she grew out of, so don't despair.

Yeah I think this is the way to go, it's the texture that is the issue. This thread has been so helpful

@Thisisthepoint

I have similar drama every evening meal with DS(6) who started becoming fussy at 14 months and it’s just escalated over the years, rather than got better.

He’s seen the GP, been under a Dietician for two years, and had an Occupational Therapist assessment via phone call. All have concluded he’s just fussy as opposed to any sensory issues etc. They all agree that we have tried absolutely everything and to just keep offering a range of foods and it’s ultimately up to him to engage with trying them.

He has not eaten any vegetables whatsoever since age 2, and rarely eats any fruit. Won’t eat meals that you can typically purée Vege into like bolognaise, soups, quiche etc. Basically refuses to try almost everything new or does so and says yuck etc. Loves beige food and crisps, sweets, and pudding to an obscene degree (sparingly given).

The most frustrating, and which makes me feel so angry inside sometimes, is his behaviour around new or existing food that he refuses to eat. He is so rude - it’s yuck, disgusting, bleurgh - and he can take one look at the food on the table and run off screaming. No amount of discussion or downright laying the law down on behaviour has helped. It’s embarrassing and soul destroying.

I did say to the Dietician that I’ve noticed amongst friends and family with young children that the fussy ones are usually those that did not attend full-time nursery from a baby, and that those that have eat well generally. She thought about it and said that it was an interesting point. Possible theory could be eating from a very young age with your peers encourages good eating routines, plus nurseries are less likely to cater for fussy eating behaviours. Who knows?

That sounds awful for you, I hope it gets better. My eldest went to nursery from a few months old so the theory doesn't hold for him. He's obviously just awkward!

@Slub

One of my DC would only eat sausage, Yorkshire puddings and gravy for around 3 years - now a thriving 20 something that eats exotic foods that I'd possibly balk at. It'll all turn out allreet

There is hope!

@Twinkie01

DD will only eat M&S kids ready meals after I gave them to her when we had the kitchen done. It's says they've veg and vitamins and stuff in and I make her have 2 pieces of fruit and she has peas or broccoli with her ready meal. Life's grand, no arguing and it's pretty cheap as she'll eat the whole meal. Life's too short to cook for ungrateful children 😀

Sounds like you've mastered it!👌🏼

@Treaclepie19

Yep! Feels like I've given up. My ds likes mashed potato, carrots, broccoli, peas and sweetcorn with gravy and Yorkshire pudding. That's his favourite main meal and pretty much the only one he will eat. So I do it A LOT 😭

(I realise it sounds healthy but it's very limiting when he won't eat cheese, rice, pasta and a ton of other stuff)

Actually sounds delish, can I come to yours for dinner?

@LouKelly

Oh my ,how things have changed ,i ate what was put in front of me and was thankfull for it ,i would not have dared turn my nose up at anything ,a because i would have hurt my nanas or mams feelings and b because i would have not had any choice or say so would have starved and i know for a fact they would have taken it away and i would not be offered anything else ,its called discipline and respect ,try instilling it in your kids ,when i first read your message i thought maybe you were talking about adult kids ,i was litetally gobsmacked when you said they were 4 and 7 ! Un effing be lievable !

Slightly harsh! I have absolutely instilled discipline and respect in my kids. And my post was slightly tongue in cheek. They are always polite and well-mannered, but dinner time is just an area we really struggle with.

@cookiecreampie

Yes, give them what they want. Usually they grow out of this phase eventually and eat a wider range of foods. My kids are quite good eaters apart from my dd who is autistic and is very fussy with food. There's no point trying with certain foods because she just point blank won't eat it and would rather starve. If we have bolognese or curry, she has a jacket potato or cheese sandwich instead because she has a real phobia about these things and I'm not going to force her. Chicken nuggets and fish fingers are fine, just find a veg they like and serve that with it. Eldest DS used to be fussy too and still is with some things but now eats a lot more than he used to.

This is what I'm thinking, they'll grow out of it. I remember being the same when I was little and I eat a healthy and varied diet now.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Teens don’t make it any bloody easier.

One likes only whole meal pasta the other one doesn’t.
One adores kidney beans the other one hates them
One hates cheese unless it’s on a pizza or on top of pasta. The other loves it.

I leave them to pick out the bits they don’t like.

Every new dish is eyeballed with deep suspicion😭

I'm sorry but this is so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣