AIBU - Friends relationship revelation.

[BlooShoos]

To put this into context, a very close friend of mine has just told our group (five of us, friends since college) that her partner of about 2 years has been to prison, and that he served 8 years of a 13 year sentence with 5 years on license.
The partner... lets call him Rob, looks at my friend like a kid looks at cake, he absolutely adores her, he provides for her and her son, (she works too, but 'Rob' likes the breadwinner role) he seems to be all legit, and they are an absolutely solid couple.
Now, 'Rob' going to prison, in essence isn't the issue. What is the issue is that Lucie (not her real name) used to be a high ranking prison officer. And it turns out that Rob used to be on her Unit. Lucie swears blind that nothing happened while she was working in the prison, she was still with her ex, and her and Rob met after he;d been released and Lucie had left the prison service, they moved in together last year at the beginning of lockdown. I believe her, but a couple of others in our group don't and think it's a massively inappropriate and are threatening to make a big noise about Lucie and Rob. I believe his crime was quite violent, but an unfortunate one - a single, drunken punch. And as I've said, he has always seemed a really good guy, but as nice as he seems to be, with Lucie's past employment and his criminal history, AIBU to think this is all a bit odd?

[Pumperthepumper]

So he killed someone?

[PhatPhanny]

You should all keep your damn noses out of their business

[Hoppinggreen]

People are saying he WOULD have got 13 years for 1 drunken punch, I still doubt it as it happened locally and the guilty party got 4 years.
Maybe Rob had previous? Or something else was going on?

[Stoic123]

What's odd is a group of old friends interfering in one of the group's love life and 'threatening to make a big noise'.

Strange dynamics here.

[Blankspace101]

It sounds like a potential abuse of power. I’d be concerned for him and his wellbeing.

[Thewinterofdiscontent]

@Helpsmearresult

A quick Google search throws up this article with a similar sentence for a similar incident

www.derbyshire.police.uk/news/derbyshire/news/news/north/2020/march/man-jailed-for-manslaughter-after-one-punch-death/

More awareness needs to be around the seriousness of fighting, and one punch. As indeed one punch can kill, and the impact is huge for families involved.
So for those saying the person wouldn't be in prison with that sentence for just a punch. It's not just a punch.

That guy only got 7 years! He clearly had form as he was given 5 years license because he was a risk.

Rob got twice that!

[LouKelly]

This REALLY is their business ,if you are all truely her friends you would all accept her explination and leave them alone ,seriously why would a true friend try and cause trouble for two happy people ?

[Beautiful3]

Her mistake was telling anyone about it. I would just leave her alone and mind my own business.

[ConstantlyChanging]

He didn't get 13 years for a one-punch manslaughter. Not true, sorry. Criminals lie and minimise and so do those aiding and abetting them. It's none of your business but I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them.

[Vap3]

If two people want to be together you cannot stop them they will do it anyway , trust me been in a similar situation with a friend who had and still has dealings with a real shady guy .
Just always be around for lucy , be her friend and be kind .

[LalalalalalaLand123]

What horrible 'friends'!
Lucy had left the prison service, when pregnant, 6 years ago. If she and Rob were attracted to each other before that, she left the prison service - what do these 'friends' hope to achieve now?

(Separately, a drunken one-punch killing would most likely be classed as involuntary manslaughter, with sentences far below 13 years. For example, from the Sentencing Council: 'In one case, sentenced in 2016, a “silly row” between two men who had been close friends for 45 years led to one hitting the other, who fell, striking his head, which caused his death....a 28-month sentence was imposed. By contrast, another man with a history of violence, who pleaded guilty to manslaughter was sentenced to six years in prison for killing a man in an unprovoked attack in the street.")
www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/blog/post/manslaughter-explained/#:~:text=Manslaughter%20falls%20into%20two%20broad,and%20manslaughter%20by%20gross%20negligence.

[HedgleyTheHedgehog]

You don't get thirteen years for that. The exact same thing happened in my town a couple of years ago, the guy got six years

[SnackSizeRaisin]

He's served his time and should be left to get on with his life. If your friends don't want to be friends with him then that's entirely their decision, nothing wrong with that, but they should just bow out gracefully rather than trying to cause problems.
As for the previous history - if she left the prison job 6 years ago and has only just started this relationship, it seems unlikely there was anything going on when he was in prison.

[Diverseopinions]

I hope it isn't offensive to say this sounds invented.

It's like a couple of other threads in that it poses a perfectly poised moral dilemma.

I don't personally think people use cake and puppy dog eyes kind of analogies about couples - they'd give an example. And doesn't that sound too good to be true, and the lovingness could be put on - but no suspicion of this from OP ( fair enough).

It's like a soap opera: the little boy is treated with so much love - it's as if ....oh could it be?

Lockdown restrictions fit well, surprisingly.

First thing I find surprising: it sentence is so long for an accidental crime, why would any friends want to get on the wrong side of somebody who could be a steely foe and professional criminal, who is unlikely to forget being crossed.
The friends husbands/ boyfriends would think the above , even if they female friends don't.

If it's such a long sentence, therefore press-worthy, hasn't it been checked by looking online? It would be a well-known case and people would know, so Lucie would tell friends about him first, introduce him second.

It's rather strange.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

I'm with @Diverseopinions here. The original post sounds made up and the comment about cake stood out to me too, as well as the comment about "making a big noise" whatever that means.

If it is true, then I believe Lucie absolutely was having an inappropriate relationship with a prisoner whilst she worked there and he definately killed someone deliberately.

[Rejoiningperson]

I put YANBU but it was that I’d be a little bit protective of my friend. Just that 13 years is a long time for manslaughter isn’t it? Unless he had some previous and it was unprovoked or he was the aggressor. Although I admit I have no idea.

It actually must be quite difficult to be with someone who had killed someone. I imagine it is hard for them to be part of any friendship groups or community?

Not to ‘make a big noise’ though - why would you do that?! as I can’t see she’s done anything wrong? And how will that help anyone.

[1Morewineplease]

Yes it's odd.
You don't get sent down for 13 years for a drunken punch.
Your friend is delusional but, he may be a reformed character, who knows.
Their relationship seems a bit coincidental.
That your friend left the prison service at the same time that he did is very odd.
Maybe she's been influenced?

Keep an eye on her.

[firedog]

There are guidelines for sentencing that courts follow. Examples that others have given are all 1/2 that they he was given. So he was up to far worse at the time. 13 years is a very long time. I know of someone who got around 10 for murdering his girlfriend in a rage. Reformed more mature character 15 years later etc
Lucie prob knows the truth of what he did. She's playing it down

[firedog]

Btw I'm sure a bit of Googling will reveal the truth as cases get widely reported. They are prob playing it down as people will gossip...
there is nothing anyone could do anyway

[Quarantino]

@Helpsmearresult

A quick Google search throws up this article with a similar sentence for a similar incident

www.derbyshire.police.uk/news/derbyshire/news/news/north/2020/march/man-jailed-for-manslaughter-after-one-punch-death/

More awareness needs to be around the seriousness of fighting, and one punch. As indeed one punch can kill, and the impact is huge for families involved.
So for those saying the person wouldn't be in prison with that sentence for just a punch. It's not just a punch.

I think this is really important - I was tangentially involved in a case like this (man paralysed from one punch due to how he fell).

I don't think, in general, punching is treated with the seriousness it deserves when it's really not uncommon for it to be fatal or life-altering.
(And this goes even more for driving offences but that's for another thread). I don't just mean in terms of sentencing but in society in general.

[theladywiththerainbowhair]

I'll be honest, I think your friends need to mind their own business! As a friend it's not their place to judge or threaten but instead to ensure that she is happy and with somebody who clearly adores her. He went to prison for a drunken mistake and if she says everything started after that then you should all believe her- you're her friends and if your friends are against you then who have you got?! Encourage your friends to be there for her and if they must judge, to do so inwardly. X

[YellowFish1647]

Wow. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

If I were Lucie I’d be reviewing my social connections.

[Rachie1973]

@SelkieIntegrated

How did they find each other ? She shouldn't be on SM with her real name! Not if she worked in a prison.

Of course she can be. My ex is still a serving officer. He’s on FB.

[IdblowJonSnow]

This is a very identifying thread op. I can actually remember reading news article/s where this happened.

[Overwhlmed]

If the circumstances of his offence as documented here are false then Lucie, having been a custody manager on his unit..would know that wouldn't she? She would be privy to the details of the crime. It would be on his file.