AIBU - Friends relationship revelation.

[BlooShoos]

To put this into context, a very close friend of mine has just told our group (five of us, friends since college) that her partner of about 2 years has been to prison, and that he served 8 years of a 13 year sentence with 5 years on license.
The partner... lets call him Rob, looks at my friend like a kid looks at cake, he absolutely adores her, he provides for her and her son, (she works too, but 'Rob' likes the breadwinner role) he seems to be all legit, and they are an absolutely solid couple.
Now, 'Rob' going to prison, in essence isn't the issue. What is the issue is that Lucie (not her real name) used to be a high ranking prison officer. And it turns out that Rob used to be on her Unit. Lucie swears blind that nothing happened while she was working in the prison, she was still with her ex, and her and Rob met after he;d been released and Lucie had left the prison service, they moved in together last year at the beginning of lockdown. I believe her, but a couple of others in our group don't and think it's a massively inappropriate and are threatening to make a big noise about Lucie and Rob. I believe his crime was quite violent, but an unfortunate one - a single, drunken punch. And as I've said, he has always seemed a really good guy, but as nice as he seems to be, with Lucie's past employment and his criminal history, AIBU to think this is all a bit odd?

[denverRegina]

"This post is massively identifiable if you’ve given the correct details."

Let's hope it identifies "Lucie". Scum like that are causing absolute havoc in our prisons today

[MichelleScarn]

So what outcome do the "big noise" crew hope for? ( the sky shits they are) why not just ask Lucie, and of course admit they plan to cause trouble?

[Rewis]

What do the 'friends' want the outcome to be? Her being accused of coercive sex/relationship? Abuse of power? Misusing public office? Just public shaming? Them breaking up? Making sure she won't want to be friends anymore? Does she still work within the prison industry, so get her fired? I'm unsure what they want to happen with the noise?

[Violetroselily]

Do your friends have nothing better to do? Why do they care so much about how they may or may not have got together?

If you were a real friend you'd be sticking up for her

[Joeblack066]

@Hoppinggreen

Well I don’t believe her and I doubt Rob did that long for a drunken punch
BUT if it doesn’t affect you does it matter? The people “threatening to make a big noise” (whatever that means) sound like Dicks

He would for manslaughter.

I think they should leave them alone.

[Branleuse]

id keep my nose out and advise the others to do the same

[Ohpulltheotherone]

Well she’s left her job so even if something did happen or there was an intention of something maybe happening it’s now irrelevant. If something did happen she took the appropriate steps and left, so what would anyone do about it anyway? Especially as both would clearly deny it.

It’s personal preference as to whether you would want to socialise with someone with this type of history. But if the story is as black and white as you say then what is there to hold judgment over? There for the grace of god go I.
I have done some stupid fucking things in my life and any one of them could have gone cosmically wrong.

[pictish]

Firstly I, like others, do not believe he got 13 years and served 8 for a drunken punch...even one that resulted in a fatality. Bullshit.
Secondly, whatever actually occurred should be left undisturbed. For the sake of the friendship I’d compartmentalise and not revisit unless invited to.
Those threatening to speak up should be blanked on the topic to avoid being involved yourself. It does seem an inappropriate connection between them frankly...but I’m sure it’s not unheard of.

[SelkieIntegrated]

How did they find each other ? She shouldn't be on SM with her real name! Not if she worked in a prison.

[TillyTopper]

I'd keep out of it entirely. I also don't understand - a male friend used to be in prison, whilst he was in custody another friend of yours was a prison officer in the same place as he was in custody. Why on earth does that mean anything happened between them?

[frumpety]

You seem very certain that Lucie started a relationship with Rob whilst he was in prison denverRegina , is this something you see a lot ?

[SpringtimeSummertime]

[quote BlooShoos]@AgentJohnson the outcome of the drunken punch was the victim his his head on a concrete curb stone.... I'm sure you can add the rest up.[/quote]
I'm guessing the victim died then...

[Cocomarine]

If it was a 13 year sentence, then he was convicted before this article regarding one LCJ’s view on the need for harsher sentencing for “one punch” manslaughter.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1236918/Top-judge-targets-punch-manslaughter-cases-crackdown-yob-violence.html

Even with the harsher sentencing in the reviews mentioned, they’re nowhere near 13 years.

I also smell bullshit from poor unlucky Rob 🤷🏻‍♀️

[JudgeRindersMinder]

@Hoppinggreen

Well I don’t believe her and I doubt Rob did that long for a drunken punch
BUT if it doesn’t affect you does it matter? The people “threatening to make a big noise” (whatever that means) sound like Dicks

Haven’t you heard of occasions when one drunken punch can lead to death? Victim falls back and hits back of skull on concrete or similar and dies. It’s unfortunately relatively common.
Puncher then charged and convicted of manslaughter (or culpable homicide here in Scotland

[SpringtimeSummertime]

I also smell bullshit from poor unlucky Rob 🤷🏻‍♀️

Without a doubt.

[Pinkyavocado]

God I’d really dislike friends like you lot!

It really is no ones business but there’s. Let them get on with it!

[Helpsmearresult]

A quick Google search throws up this article with a similar sentence for a similar incident

www.derbyshire.police.uk/news/derbyshire/news/news/north/2020/march/man-jailed-for-manslaughter-after-one-punch-death/

More awareness needs to be around the seriousness of fighting, and one punch. As indeed one punch can kill, and the impact is huge for families involved.
So for those saying the person wouldn't be in prison with that sentence for just a punch. It's not just a punch.

[Maggiesfarm]

@BlooShoos

The more I talk about it, the more "on her side" I am. I like him, he's a nice guy and as per my post, I love how he is with her and her son, anyone would think he was his own, he's an amazing stepdad to a little boy who now no longer has one. I guess I want to have a bit of back up with the friends in our group who seem to want to treat her and him like Leppers.

I'm glad Lucie has you.

It's nobody else's business. The guy did his time and they didn't get together until after she had left the prison service.

I wish them continued happiness.

[ForwardRanger]

No-one gets 13yrs for a drunken punch. He's killed someone deliberately and been found guilty of manslaughter, or been involved in a string of violent robberies or many drug deals or several serious sexual assaults. 13 yrs is an extremely long sentence.

That aside, it is not for you or the other women to appoint yourselves as morality police. They sound awful!

Personally I would be unwilling to be involved with this man because as a former court reporter I have never come across someone who has received such a lengthy sentence who I'd be comfortable having in my life. I'd supoort chairites who work with them and wish them well but I wouldn't want them around my family. But nor would I be interfering with their lives post-incarceration. As for your friend, what is it the mob is planning? They sound vindictive and not like friends at all.

[KarmaViolet]

13 years sounds about right if it was one drunken punch while also holding a big knife.

I guess it comes down to whether you believe that people are capable of rehabilitation or not. I do, and I wouldn't ostracise someone who was in a relationship with an ex offender unless I thought they were still a risk.

[spongedog]

13 years sounds a very long prison sentence to me (no real knowledge at all). I would wonder (and partly based on some of the comments above) if your friend is OK. Abusers often dont show their real side for many years. I do hope she hasnt been taken in.

Just to say regarding long standing friends and disclosures. It can be very unsettling to find that long standing friends perhaps dont always tell the truth (especially when normally they do). One of my very best friends has never quite come clean about the start of her relationship. I suspect affair, but she was beyond supportive to me when my marriage broke down due to ex's affair, and he has always supported his DC well beyond the minimum, so I leave well alone. But they never said the lines of a script - eg it just happened, ex-DW was mental, I am no longer in love etc.

[funnylittlefloozie]

@denverRegina

"Bloody hell what a nasty bunch of judgemental gossips poor lucie has as friends"

Clearly never stepped foot in a jail. A CM that was involved with a violent con prior to her maternity leave will have caused unknown risk and harm within the prison system.

Judgemental and nasty? "Poor Lucie"

Exactly. The sort of women who get involved with violent cons will lie and lie and lie... I actually don't think there's anyone you can report this to now, especially if she is no longer in the prison service. However, I would be VERY cagey about spending time with Lucie, because quite honestly, I would think she's corrupt.

[InFiveMins]

Seriously OP mind your own business! There is no need for you to be so invested.

Stay out of it.

[Keepitonthedownlow]

There was an interesting series on Radio 4 about a similar incident, one punch, where the man who was convicted described his experiences and it was a useful insight into the possibility of moving on from such a thing. LIke PP he only received a 2.5 year sentence, although perhaps sentencing can vary. Either way, it's not really anyone's business is it now?

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000l0jr/episodes/player

[Icantchangemyusername]

@HerMammy

With ‘friends’ like you lot Lucie doesn’t need enemies!
You sound a right nasty bunch, looking to cause trouble for your ‘friend’

My thoughts exactly. Nice friends!