Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Childfree debate - extreme

347 replies

ED81 · 18/04/2021 08:23

Might not be the correct section for this....

So my husband and I have spoken and spoken. My mood has been in my boots about my indecision about having children or not. I’ve been very tearful and it’s consumed me over the last 2 months - mainly due to being 40 very soon. I’ve asked him to make the final choice.

He thinks we should be childfree.
My level of indecision was too much and was making me ill. This without doubt has been the hardest debate I’ve had.

I am maternal but that can come in different shapes and forms. Having a child for old age isn’t good enough. Or incase I regret not doing it. We’d not cope with additional needs and that is so unpredictable and a gamble. Obviously lots of screening can happen in pregnancy but not for all conditions such as autism which obviously is a spectrum but can be extreme. My husband is late 40s so apparently the risk increases.

There is no particular reason why we couldn’t have kids. We have good jobs, a nice house and a disposable income but that desire just isn’t there. My husband had said he would if I had wanted but that he has no ambition to be a father. I love and respect him so much for being honest with me. And for potentially doing something that I wanted when he wasn’t keen!

Has anyone else struggled with this choice as much?! I feel a bit mad that it been so difficult at my end.

But looks like we will be childfree. And you know what? We’ll be ok. Smile

OP posts:
HareIsland · 18/04/2021 12:21

@Isthereaduckinthehouse

I think it's cowardice where men say 'I'm not pushed - If you want one, then fine'. That's basically warning you, ye, we can have a baby, but don't fucking expect me to look after it!
I don't think there's any evidence in the OP's posts to support this. She's explicitly put the decision on him because she can't decide, which is both unfair on him and potentially unwise because, as a pp said, he could father a child in five years or fifteen, but the OP doesn't have the luxury of time. In that kind of situation, I don't blame the OP's husband for saying he personally doesn't have any specific drive to have a child, but would have one if she really wanted to -- he's putting the decision back on her, rather than saying he'll father a child but not be an involved co-parent.
Cam77 · 18/04/2021 12:21

I don’t think children necessarily entail the massive lifestyle shift many people imply, particularly for people who are comfortable financially . Of course, some children have specific needs, and then that’s a whole other ball game. But for most parents who have kids in their late 20s/30s I think the massive change aspect is sometimes overstated.

Shoxfordian · 18/04/2021 12:22

I’m similar to you op. I’m 35 and my husband is almost 40 so realistically we would need to have a child in the next five years but I don’t know if I want one; husband leans towards not wanting one. If I woke up one day with a real desire to do it then he would agree but unless and until that happens I’m not going to have one

TedMullins · 18/04/2021 12:23

@Cam77

Get a dog, and I mean that with all seriousness.

Hmmm. A dog is a smaller commitment than a child. But is still a massive commitment. All pets are massive commitments (particularly dogs), and sometimes unsuitable for people who are out of the house for long stretches or who like to frequently holiday abroad.

I’ve got two small dogs. I love them, but the relentless responsibility for them is hard and I’ve found myself thinking that I’m glad one is older because in 5-7 years I’ll be back down to one dog. I know that sounds utterly despicable, but I don’t mean I’m wishing for his death. I love him and want him to live out his life with me, it’s just hard. I wouldn’t dream of getting rid of my dogs - I chose to get them and I’ll do my absolute best for them, but I’m very grateful I can leave them home alone for 4 hours and go out and do my own thing. I didn’t want kids anyway, but having dogs has only confirmed to me that I wouldn’t cope with the realities of bringing up another human.
HmmmmmmInteresting · 18/04/2021 12:26

@Cam77

I don’t think children necessarily entail the massive lifestyle shift many people imply, particularly for people who are comfortable financially . Of course, some children have specific needs, and then that’s a whole other ball game. But for most parents who have kids in their late 20s/30s I think the massive change aspect is sometimes overstated.
Of course the massive change is real!

Lack of sleep, the inability to do anything spontaneously, having to watch over a vulnerable human every minute of the day until they can be left alone. Having to consider another person before doing ANYTHING whereas previously you were your own person. I could go on.....

lovevlyt · 18/04/2021 12:27

I don’t think children necessarily entail the massive lifestyle shift many people imply, particularly for people who are comfortable financially . Of course, some children have specific needs, and then that’s a whole other ball game. But for most parents who have kids in their late 20s/30s I think the massive change aspect is sometimes overstated.

I agree with this and I think financial stability although shouldn't - does make a MASSIVe difference to motherhood experience.

Look at someone like Kate Middleton with nannies to help on tap - she will not have the same struggles as someone in a flat, three kids and not two pennies to rub together.

If Kate wants to go to the gun and have some me time she can get it / not the reality for most mums. Not saying it's easy with money but definitely is an easier experience and arguably more enjoyable to an extent,

Meowchickameowmeow · 18/04/2021 12:30

If, as you claim, there is no desire to have children then I'm really not seeing why this is such a struggle for you. You don't want them so don't have them, it's really that simple.

Arbadacarba · 18/04/2021 12:30

@Cam77

Get a dog, and I mean that with all seriousness.

Hmmm. A dog is a smaller commitment than a child. But is still a massive commitment. All pets are massive commitments (particularly dogs), and sometimes unsuitable for people who are out of the house for long stretches or who like to frequently holiday abroad.

One thing to bear in mind is that while you can take children into most places, restaurants, attractions, shops, beaches, the same isn't true for dogs. You have to either find dog-friendly places, arrange care for the dog or restrict outings to half-days (once your dog is able to be left alone for a couple of hours).
tuttifuckinfruity · 18/04/2021 12:34

Sounds to me like you are making the right decision.

Enjoy it. Kids are incredibly hard work. Made even harder by the fact that your hearts are not in it and your husband, in particular, is pushing it, age-wise.

Enjoy silence, and hobbies, and holidays.

HareIsland · 18/04/2021 12:34

I have a child, but I would absolutely never own a dog -- far too restrictive for me.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 18/04/2021 12:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DeciduousPerennial · 18/04/2021 12:39

I’d rather regret choosing not to have them, than choosing to have them and end up being responsible for living people who I wished I’d not brought into the world.

You sound ambivalent at best; he’s said he actively he doesn’t want children.

Hardly the best footing to set off from if you go ahead.

hilariousnamehere · 18/04/2021 12:39

After 8 years I'm beginning to have more good days than bad with them - this to me absolutely sums up why I would never have children. Eight years!!!

Mulletsaremisunderstood · 18/04/2021 12:40

OP why start a new thread about this...there is another thread already going.

OohThatCat · 18/04/2021 12:46

Everything you wrote literally could have been me. I am 37 and the exact same, very on the fence about ttc and for the same reasons you mentioned, plus I am so incredibly squeamish I fear for my mental health. It has really helped to see there are other people like me out there, though I wish I knew more child free people my age to make friends with, maybe it would sway my decision more.

Graphista · 18/04/2021 12:49

I really strongly feel women need to decide this for themselves regardless of what the man says he thinks...

... because all too often I have seen women go along with a man saying he doesn't or isn't overly interested in having kids, especially around this age, only for the man to leave and get into a relationship with a new younger and fertile woman and quickly have children with them!

If you can HONESTLY Say this happening would not make you regret not having children then you're probably right to remain child free.

I have several friends who are child free by choice for various reasons and it absolutely has been the right decision for them, but I also have several who were screwed over in the way mentioned and it's left them utterly heartbroken, not just by the ending of the relationship but because they effectively had their fertility manipulated and stolen from them. Yes it's especially true for the 2 who prior to meeting said man had always wanted kids and the man said they definitely didn't and so they sacrificed motherhood for the man only for those men to screw them over.

It's a deeply personal decision.

I'm afraid I also think there's an element of selfishness in conceiving at 40+ as the potential for illness and disability is considerably higher. But it's also hard on the potential mother as it's much harder (contrary to what's often said on mn!) to get pregnant and stay pregnant at this age.

Within my friend & family circle there's a real mix of teen mums up to mums who had their first in their late 30's/40's but I have to say the older mums, it wasn't what they planned, they had medical issues that either caused fertility issues or had to be dealt with before a pregnancy could be healthily maintained.

One of my child free friends has opted to be so because she never met her husband until her late 30's and was the only child of older parents and she felt they were selfish to have a child and only have one child as they were also only children so not even any cousins to grow up with plus when they get older all the responsibility for supporting them was on her shoulders. She had nobody who knew exactly what they were like to care for and to share the responsibility. Less of an issue these days but she also was bullied and embarrassed at school with having older parents who were often mistaken for her grandparents. Anyone who thinks these are petty reasons to not have a child doesn't fully appreciate the pain it caused her.

I've always known I wanted to be a mother, even as a kid when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was mostly "a mum" and then when I got old enough to realise people meant what job I'd say "a foster mum". Unfortunately health and other circumstances have meant my dreams of a large family and fostering became impossible. I've had to make my peace with that. Not easy.

The 1st time I realised it likely wouldn't be simple for me was when I had my first period which was horrendously painful and very heavy, I knew even then something was wrong but my endo wasn't dx for another 14 years and after losing 3 babies to mc. Dds pregnancy in my 20's was not straightforward, the birth was traumatic and ended in an emcs which saved both our lives. Turns out I have a genetic condition (not the endo) triggered by the 1st Labour that means ANY future pregnancy (even early stages) was highly likely to prove fatal for me (I was told 85% chance roughly that it would be fatal)

Life doesn't always go as we hoped.

But having children is a huge commitment - way beyond "having a baby" dd is now 20, aged 11 she had a disability dx that explained a lot health wise and we've been navigating that since and that's an additional worry to the usual parenting worries. This condition is likely to impact her ability to work, have children etc in the future. Even though she has left home and is now purportedly an independent adult I still worry sick about her. It's never ending. Whenever I raise this my mother reminds me that my siblings and I still give her plenty to worry about! (My health, brothers adrenaline junky crap, sisters fecklessness) and we're in our 40's ourselves!

Parenting is wonderful but it is something you need to enter with as open eyes as possible (I say as possible as it's one of those things you don't really know what it's like until you do it) being aware of the negatives as well as the positives.

I would certainly say anyone considering ttc in their late 30's/40's but who knows they couldn't cope with a child with additional needs shouldn't do so. Controversial possibly but given the risks it's my opinion.

Lots to think about op. But it HAS to be YOUR decision.

I also agree with @LowlandLucky that caring for a baby/toddler/young child is very physically demanding! I have also been a nanny and childminder in the past, I'm 48 now and absolutely wouldn't have coped even at age 40 with sleepless nights and then running around constantly after a little one it's exhausting! At this time I was caring for 2 other peoples children on an occasional but often weekend long basis and it was knackering! I turned my Mondays and Tuesdays into weekends to recover!

I think you've left it too late, which is a decision in itself.

I agree

SandyY2K · 18/04/2021 12:50

Sounds like the right decision for the both of you.

ED81 · 18/04/2021 12:56

Wow. A mixed bag of replies. Thank you.
I guess I’m looking for some validation.

I cannot stress enough how this had made me feel though.

I’m a rational human being normally. I promise! Haha.

OP posts:
ED81 · 18/04/2021 13:06

@OohThatCat. It’s not easy is it.
You have my sympathy.

OP posts:
AndromedaGal · 18/04/2021 13:16

Having a child is very very hard. It quite literally changes your life; & that’s the bit that’s tough. It’s not for everyone. Only you know yourself & know if it’ll make you happy to be a mum. I would say that you do seem to be conflicted though, so maybe don’t give it a blanket “no” in your mind until things become clearer for you emotionally.

TedMullins · 18/04/2021 13:44

Yes it's especially true for the 2 who prior to meeting said man had always wanted kids and the man said they definitely didn't and so they sacrificed motherhood for the man only for those men to screw them over.

So, upon finding out the man didn’t want kids, why stay with him? Or better still, discuss each other’s feelings on kids early on before things get serious? I know that’s not relevant to you OP but I think there is an element of personal responsibility if someone wanted kids but knowingly dated/stayed with someone who didn’t.

OP in your case I would always say if you’re not sure, it’s a no (although I notice others have said the opposite) but I don’t agree that having ‘left it too late’ is telling in itself. Yes, every point everyone’s made about the drawbacks of having kids in your 40s is valid, but people who conceive at this age haven’t necessarily gone through life just choosing not to have kids before then. It’s not a given that you’ll meet anyone you’d want to procreate with, or find a long term relationship in your 20s.

covilha · 18/04/2021 13:49

I think you will regret not having children xx

LouKelly · 18/04/2021 13:58

Read your post through as if you hadnt written it and it was someone elses post ,does that husband and wife sound like two people who actually want kids based on that post ? No ,the answer is no they dont ,maybe you are getting upset for a different reason but dont realise it ,neither of you sound as if you want kids ,you dont need to feel guilty or bad about that in any way ,having kids is a MASSIVE life changing commitment ,i think if you two had wanted them you would have had them by now ,enjoy your lives together .

CounsellorTroi · 18/04/2021 14:00

I think you can regret not having children but still know it wouldn't have been right for you to have them.

Singinghollybob · 18/04/2021 14:00

Wow I could have written word for word your op, down to every detail. We have debated and debated it but ultimately for me, I believe if I wanted children that much the decision wouldn't and shouldn't be this difficult.
I see people all around me having children without all this angst and I think if children were that fundamental for me, I would have had them by now, surely the desire or longing would ultimately override any doubts I may have?

Swipe left for the next trending thread