I really strongly feel women need to decide this for themselves regardless of what the man says he thinks...
... because all too often I have seen women go along with a man saying he doesn't or isn't overly interested in having kids, especially around this age, only for the man to leave and get into a relationship with a new younger and fertile woman and quickly have children with them!
If you can HONESTLY Say this happening would not make you regret not having children then you're probably right to remain child free.
I have several friends who are child free by choice for various reasons and it absolutely has been the right decision for them, but I also have several who were screwed over in the way mentioned and it's left them utterly heartbroken, not just by the ending of the relationship but because they effectively had their fertility manipulated and stolen from them. Yes it's especially true for the 2 who prior to meeting said man had always wanted kids and the man said they definitely didn't and so they sacrificed motherhood for the man only for those men to screw them over.
It's a deeply personal decision.
I'm afraid I also think there's an element of selfishness in conceiving at 40+ as the potential for illness and disability is considerably higher. But it's also hard on the potential mother as it's much harder (contrary to what's often said on mn!) to get pregnant and stay pregnant at this age.
Within my friend & family circle there's a real mix of teen mums up to mums who had their first in their late 30's/40's but I have to say the older mums, it wasn't what they planned, they had medical issues that either caused fertility issues or had to be dealt with before a pregnancy could be healthily maintained.
One of my child free friends has opted to be so because she never met her husband until her late 30's and was the only child of older parents and she felt they were selfish to have a child and only have one child as they were also only children so not even any cousins to grow up with plus when they get older all the responsibility for supporting them was on her shoulders. She had nobody who knew exactly what they were like to care for and to share the responsibility. Less of an issue these days but she also was bullied and embarrassed at school with having older parents who were often mistaken for her grandparents. Anyone who thinks these are petty reasons to not have a child doesn't fully appreciate the pain it caused her.
I've always known I wanted to be a mother, even as a kid when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was mostly "a mum" and then when I got old enough to realise people meant what job I'd say "a foster mum". Unfortunately health and other circumstances have meant my dreams of a large family and fostering became impossible. I've had to make my peace with that. Not easy.
The 1st time I realised it likely wouldn't be simple for me was when I had my first period which was horrendously painful and very heavy, I knew even then something was wrong but my endo wasn't dx for another 14 years and after losing 3 babies to mc. Dds pregnancy in my 20's was not straightforward, the birth was traumatic and ended in an emcs which saved both our lives. Turns out I have a genetic condition (not the endo) triggered by the 1st Labour that means ANY future pregnancy (even early stages) was highly likely to prove fatal for me (I was told 85% chance roughly that it would be fatal)
Life doesn't always go as we hoped.
But having children is a huge commitment - way beyond "having a baby" dd is now 20, aged 11 she had a disability dx that explained a lot health wise and we've been navigating that since and that's an additional worry to the usual parenting worries. This condition is likely to impact her ability to work, have children etc in the future. Even though she has left home and is now purportedly an independent adult I still worry sick about her. It's never ending. Whenever I raise this my mother reminds me that my siblings and I still give her plenty to worry about! (My health, brothers adrenaline junky crap, sisters fecklessness) and we're in our 40's ourselves!
Parenting is wonderful but it is something you need to enter with as open eyes as possible (I say as possible as it's one of those things you don't really know what it's like until you do it) being aware of the negatives as well as the positives.
I would certainly say anyone considering ttc in their late 30's/40's but who knows they couldn't cope with a child with additional needs shouldn't do so. Controversial possibly but given the risks it's my opinion.
Lots to think about op. But it HAS to be YOUR decision.
I also agree with @LowlandLucky that caring for a baby/toddler/young child is very physically demanding! I have also been a nanny and childminder in the past, I'm 48 now and absolutely wouldn't have coped even at age 40 with sleepless nights and then running around constantly after a little one it's exhausting! At this time I was caring for 2 other peoples children on an occasional but often weekend long basis and it was knackering! I turned my Mondays and Tuesdays into weekends to recover!
I think you've left it too late, which is a decision in itself.
I agree