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AIBU?

AIBU coffee run

177 replies

Starstella21 · 16/04/2021 08:40

Please settle a light hearted argument...

Our coffee machine is broken, my partner has got in the habit of making a 10 minute walk in the morning to the local french bakery to grab a coffee.
I've asked if he will get me one he says he doesn't want to carry two back...

AIBU to think this is selfish?!
I want a coffee!!

OP posts:

Report

coodawoodashooda · 16/04/2021 09:45

You've learned you are not his priority. Bastard.

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 16/04/2021 09:47

Disclaimer I also regularly make my partner coffee and breakfast in bed and am lovely in every other conceivable way

Frymetothemoon · 16/04/2021 09:48

My DH would bring one back for me. He wouldn't even ask. Yesterday he went for his Covid jab and came back with pastries for both of us

NoSquirrels · 16/04/2021 09:53

But OP. You started a thread designed to get people to agree your DH was being an arse not to bring you coffee.

So how you can be outraged at “MN” (just a collection of unconnected people responding) is w bit baffling when it’s the response your thread was clearly going to get.

What did you want people to say?

“That’s totally fair enough and you should never ask him for anything.”

Or

“What a selfish bastard.”

?

Crispina · 16/04/2021 09:55

@Starstella21

I think this post has reminded me why I need to delete Mumsnet again 🤣

He is a very good partner and dad who does a lot for me and the kids daily and there is a lot of love in our home and in our relationship. I don't feel that he doesn't value me at all and maybe you all think I should but I honestly don't 🤷‍♀️ He makes me breakfast in bed on our days off always.
I'm not going to reevaluate my whole relationship/worth over coffee but thanks all for your input 🤪🤪

He doesn't sound like a bad sort. Does he bring you lunch and dinner in bed too? If not LTB

OolieMacdoolie · 16/04/2021 09:56

What a mean, tight bastard.

RoaryMouth · 16/04/2021 09:56

@CrazyTitsLiz

My husband would go and get one for me and not himself if carrying two was genuinely that much of an issue.

You should have set your bar higher.

Really? Even if he wanted a coffee? And you'd let him?

MoiraNotRuby · 16/04/2021 09:57

www.carryaround.com/

Get one of these, makes carrying 2 drinks as easy as carrying one. Problem solved.

NormanStangerson · 16/04/2021 09:59

*Even if he does, coffee shops will give you a carry tray that you can carry with one hand.

RoaryMouth · 16/04/2021 09:59

I'm with your husband. If it was me, the walk there and the walk back drinking my coffee would be part of the enjoyment. Having to carry another one, rush back whilst it was still hot etc. would bug me.

Pyewackect · 16/04/2021 09:59

... go and get your own then !.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 16/04/2021 10:00

That's shit dh would make sure I had one before himself

Mummyme87 · 16/04/2021 10:00

Whaaaaat?!? What a dick

Aprilx · 16/04/2021 10:02

@Starstella21

I think this post has reminded me why I need to delete Mumsnet again 🤣

He is a very good partner and dad who does a lot for me and the kids daily and there is a lot of love in our home and in our relationship. I don't feel that he doesn't value me at all and maybe you all think I should but I honestly don't 🤷‍♀️ He makes me breakfast in bed on our days off always.
I'm not going to reevaluate my whole relationship/worth over coffee but thanks all for your input 🤪🤪

I think this is the first time I have seen a poster threaten to flounce because in general people agree with her. 😅

TheFallenMadonna · 16/04/2021 10:03

I want a local French bakery 10 minutes walk away that does lovely coffee. And DH doesn't drink coffee so he would be able to bring one back for me, along with the viennoiserie

OolieMacdoolie · 16/04/2021 10:04

I’m kind of laughing at the people saying how much of an imposition it is to have to carry two coffees. When I was a trainee solicitor doing the Friday bun run for my firm I used to have to go to three different placed and return with coffee, rolls and pastries for 9 people.

AnyOldPrion · 16/04/2021 10:05

For me it depends. If he goes and buys coffee and comes back and drinks it in front of you: rude and selfish.

If he goes out, buys coffee and sits and drinks it somewhere then comes back... well then unless you are incapable of walking, you should go with him if you want one. I don’t like walking with coffee so walking back with it would be a pain in the arse and you’d have spoilt the pleasure of doing it. Bearing in mind he’d brought you breakfast in bed (assuming that isn’t ALL he does) he deserves something nice for himself, though he would be an ass if he didn’t let you join in.

Or perhaps if he brings you breakfast, you could get the coffees. Where I live it’s medically advised to walk at least 30 minutes per day when pregnant (unless there are specific contraindications) so it would be good for you!

Enjoy your coffee. I’m envious of you living within walking distance of such a place.

PicsInRed · 16/04/2021 10:06

OP I actually get where he's coming from.

1 coffee is a pleasant walk and a wander back with a coffee to clear your head from work, whereas 2 coffees makes it another job to get right and carrying straight home.

1 is a pleasant quick break, 2 is a job with a deliverable.

ohthejoysoftoddler · 16/04/2021 10:06

I can actually understand it. In the current wfh, no joy times. One of my small perks of the day is getting out the house and strolling with a coffee. It wouldn't be as relaxing if I were carrying something else. It's turns a nice stroll to another task that needs to be returned to the house.

Charm23 · 16/04/2021 10:06

Wow seriously? What a dick.

whiteshark · 16/04/2021 10:06

your DP is a twat. honestly, you are minimizing how little he thinks of you.

Lassy1945 · 16/04/2021 10:07

@Starstella21

I think this post has reminded me why I need to delete Mumsnet again 🤣

He is a very good partner and dad who does a lot for me and the kids daily and there is a lot of love in our home and in our relationship. I don't feel that he doesn't value me at all and maybe you all think I should but I honestly don't 🤷‍♀️ He makes me breakfast in bed on our days off always.
I'm not going to reevaluate my whole relationship/worth over coffee but thanks all for your input 🤪🤪

Or maybe don’t start threads in AIBU asking if your partner is selfish?

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AnyOldPrion · 16/04/2021 10:09

@OolieMacdoolie

I’m kind of laughing at the people saying how much of an imposition it is to have to carry two coffees. When I was a trainee solicitor doing the Friday bun run for my firm I used to have to go to three different placed and return with coffee, rolls and pastries for 9 people.

You were working and that was part of your job, presumably. OPs DH is doing something for his own pleasure, so if OP’s request reduces that pleasure, then it makes a difference.

YouJustDoYou · 16/04/2021 10:09

He's a selfish prick. Who cares so little they can't even be arsed to carry a drink 10 minutes for someone they're supposed to love? Urgh.

mindutopia · 16/04/2021 10:10

To be fair, I wouldn't personally want to carry two hot coffees for 10 minutes. I would imagine he uses that time to get a bit of headspace.

But you do know you can make coffee without using a machine right? I would just make myself a coffee and let him enjoy his bit of fresh air.

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