Y3 top performing child doing at leat an hour extra work set my parent after school Aibu to be surprised/pissed off?

[Starzinhereyes]

Dd has a nice little friend who by all accounts is away ahead of her classmates. This child is always chosen for play parts, was constantly praised on zoom 😬& is just known as the classes naturally talented kids.... However the child does numerous workbooks, twinkl worksheets & parents extend every bit of learning... The mum (V wealthy sahm) freely talks about extending the child... Aibu to think there is no need for the mother to spend an extra hour a day giving the child extension work?

So many AIBUs could be dealt with if the OP would only acknowledge that the primary driver for their post is envy.

A very able but very bored child is an absolute nightmare. Those extra worksheets could also be the difference between having a peaceful hour to get dinner going and sitting on the sofa with a cuppa and all manner of inventive 'entertainments' causing disaster.

The school are giving her work, the mother said the teacher send her child lots of extra worksheets & my dd said the teacher has given the child folders with "much harder English & maths" that she does when she's finished before the others...

Of course this is the right thing to do. Would you prefer her to be sat there doing nothing after completing work she already knew how to do while the other kids are learning something new. Schools should set the correct work for the child's ability level. You could do extra homework with your child and once she's ahead of the other dc then ask for extra work from school too?!

They can’t hold a child back if they’re capable of harder work, otherwise the entire class would be working at the level of the (trying to find a nicer term) less able child. It’s not how it works. The less able get more support to bring them up to the age appropriate level, the children working above are stretched to ensure they are engaged and interested. Otherwise they could just finish work early and be disruptive??

And your point is ?

Well done to that mother!
You could do likewise if you chose to do so.

@motherrunner

Not sure the OP will return again. Obviously was expecting posters to sympathise and feel anger towards a mum who doesn’t have to work and therefore can help her child more. What this thread has proven that despite many posters working full time we all try and do the best for our children whether it’s encouraging their academia or other talents.

I can't help feeling that, had it been a father doing extra work with his son at home, the OP wouldn't have posted. It's an anti woman diatribe, if you read between the lines.

It sounds as if the teacher/school are aware of your child's friend extra needs and are doing their best to provide.

Do you think the mother is pushing too hard and the child is unhappy about having to do extra work at home?

Do you feel the child has no time to play or no time for unstructured activities?

I had a couple of parents do this when I was teaching: & always wanting to talk about it to everyone (yawn).They were both SAHM's who used to work but we're very obv bored & needed a project ( both always wanting to run the PTA like a corporate ). Both children were really bright & would have done equally well without it. I just smiled & let it go over my head .

Hilarious op. You must be seething with jealousy. How embarrassing for you.

@WhatMattersMost

So many AIBUs could be dealt with if the OP would only acknowledge that the primary driver for their post is envy.

Yup!

I just don't get why the op is pissed off about something that doesn't concern her.

I do understand what CSlblonde says above!

The woman would really do better to keep quiet about it. Maybe she has no friends to chat with and her only topic of conversation is her child. If she went to work she'd have other interests. Still it;s her business and she is the best judge of what her child needs.

The school are giving her work, the mother said the teacher send her child lots of extra worksheets & my dd said the teacher has given the child folders with "much harder English & maths" that she does when she's finished before the others...

This sounds like it's to stop the child getting bored if she's finding the work too easy.

It's a teacher's job to differentiate the curriculum for all abilities.

I was the same as a primary aged child and started getting lazy, bored and would finish early, start chatting and distract the other children. In the end I moved schools on the teacher's recommendation.

I loved learning and would have happily done extra work after school until I was about 12

The parent sounds annoying if she's boasting about it though.

OP, how is it even remotely your business what another parent does with their own child, in their own home?

What do you think should happen? She should be stopped? I’m not following your logic at all.

Op, if you want to support your dc, it's way easier than you may think. There are tons of resources online, free and paid, as well as if you ask the teacher, they would give you tips depending on your dc, either support learning or extending.
It looks quite clear from this thread, that many parents do extras with their children, sahp or working full time. Also it doesn't have to be an hour, just 5 minutes everyday will add up in long term.

I always had other parents annoyed at extra stuff my DC were given to do with academic work and sport.
TBH it was never my idea - it came from school.

7vio this is the feedback I've had from non UK origin parents.

Ah haaaa......Is this a reverse and your're said mum supporting your daughter and you have jealous mum friends and trying to understand their weird mentality?

My DS and DD are not "top of their class" but they need a boost and school does not send appropriate homework (too vague and hard for DD and nothing for DS) and the apps they subscribe to are glitchy and in DD case much too hard as well (the maths app needs way too much reading for her).
So we use a subscription for both of them, DS is now ahead of his age in maths and DD is catching up. We read our own books with DD now but we do extra writing (we use Night Zookeeper) for DS.
They don't exactly ask to do them (except that DS asks to do the games on Night Zookeeper and DD asks because she gets screen time when she's done. But they both find them really satisfying and they show me all their stars and tell me how he does sums (9 times 4... Oh it's 40 minus 4).

Each term my daughter's primary school had after school sessions with parents to explain the syllabus and how we could support their learning at home. Non attending parents were just given the handouts.

We were regularly given handouts on available learning resources and recommended paid tutors and other activities such as drama clubs, dance classes, football, music and other clubs. They sent out lists of holiday clubs too.

Each parent evening the teacher would suggest areas we could focus on at home.

FrankChurchillsHaircut
That’s right...A lot of my non UK origin friends have a problem with their kids homework. It’s just not enough! It’s a bare minimum. Times tables should be done religiously at least five times a week! My son is in Y4 and they only asked to do it 3 times?! That is a joke! Maths homework once a week - whaaat?! Their brain is like sponge at this age - why not to use it to teach them more stuff?! That is why I chose to do all this extra work - trust me, it doesn’t hurt them to spend 40 min to an hour after school to revise things they do in school. Anyway, I am not trying to get everyone to agree with me. But I am like that Mum from the original post, I feel that people judge me when I do extra work with my child. I don’t really discuss it with anyone anymore as I now know that not a lot of people feel the same.

Having read some of OPs previous posts I don't think it is a reverse.

Not really any oh your business is it?

@midnightstar66

The school are giving her work, the mother said the teacher send her child lots of extra worksheets & my dd said the teacher has given the child folders with "much harder English & maths" that she does when she's finished before the others...

Of course this is the right thing to do. Would you prefer her to be sat there doing nothing after completing work she already knew how to do while the other kids are learning something new. Schools should set the correct work for the child's ability level. You could do extra homework with your child and once she's ahead of the other dc then ask for extra work from school too?!

Haha This is great. I think the op wants the kid sat still, like a statue, doing nothing until everyone has finished.

Eh? Are you jealous? What a bizarre thing to be taking issue with. Maybe you could take some inspiration from that mother.