Y3 top performing child doing at leat an hour extra work set my parent after school Aibu to be surprised/pissed off?

[Starzinhereyes]

Dd has a nice little friend who by all accounts is away ahead of her classmates. This child is always chosen for play parts, was constantly praised on zoom 😬& is just known as the classes naturally talented kids.... However the child does numerous workbooks, twinkl worksheets & parents extend every bit of learning... The mum (V wealthy sahm) freely talks about extending the child... Aibu to think there is no need for the mother to spend an extra hour a day giving the child extension work?

It is this mentality in Britain that bright people are only bright by design and absolutely cannot and will not study more than others. Everything has to be effortless. I hate to break it to you it is not how it works. At some point in school students that succeed and are very bright by all accounts are ALSO THE ONES who work really hard. You can't get A* at A level by doing nothing

@Sh05

Why is it any of your business? If the school were setting her extended work then you'd have a leg to stand on but the parents can do what they like with their own child.

Even then I don't see what the op would have to complain about. My son gets lots of extension work in school because the normal stuff is too easy. This is what I would expect from any school. When I was a child the "solution" was to move me (and similar children) up a school year, but this isn't great socially.

@Changechangychange yep!

If the mum was a poor working out of home woman, would it be ok?

Yes, YABU.

People with talented children usually support them with extra experience- gymnastics classes, piano lessons, extra library trips....whatever. The children normally enjoy the sessions and the parents like to know they gave their child the chance to develop their natural skills.

DS was a good swimmer so we put money into extra classes, water polo, lifeguarding and competitive swimming. It developed his talents and gave him a great interest.

I don’t see why you have an issue with it.

What stops you doing the same if it bothers you so much? Their aim might be an indy or a grammar school, who knows, but I doubt people go to such lengths just to make you feel inadequate.

Really none of your business. You sound jealous, you need a hobby. Some parents take an active interest in their childs education, don't let it make you feel bad.

I used to beg my mum to buy me workbooks at that age, I even took them on holiday and did them on my beach! I’d also spend hours reading, researching, and creating my own project books. That type of thing is genuinely enjoyable for some children, and bright dc do benefit from some extension work. Not your circus and all that 🤷‍♀️

Another who can't understand why you would be pissed off by another parent supporting their child.
Do you have the same reaction if a parent takes their child to football training ? Or Swimming lessons ? Or music lessons ? Or Brownies ? Or who like baking with them ? OR gardening ?

@Tinty has summed it up perfectly, and like others have said it's not really a question for you either way, but for the girl and her parents.

I don't know why you've commented about the fact the mum doesn't work and is 'v wealthy'.

The teachers should manage the dynamic between this girl and the rest of the class, so the self-esteem of all the children is preserved, but you can't really blame the parents for supporting an enthusiasm for learning.

Some kids enjoy this stuff. Focus on your child and the things that they like to do.

My Mum used to buy extra workbooks and I loved doing them as they actually challenged me, whereas my schoolwork did not. My siblings hated doing them and so just didn't.

You’re just jealous.
In my culture, it very common for children to get extra tuition. Whether the parent can afford it or not.

The mum (V wealthy sahm)

My dirt poor, hardworking coal miner dad used to tutor me because I wasn't being challenged enough at school. He wanted me to have a better life than his. Was that ok in your book, OP?

People can do what they want op

People have different interests, values and outlooks

We had that in one of my dcs years teacher gave them everything- the real shame should be on the teacher not the child! No child should get all the rewards but some teachers are shit - try fixing that -it’s not so easy

Nothing stopping you doing extra worksheets with your child if that’s what you want to do. But it seems you don’t so don’t want anyone else to.

I have the naturally bright, outperforming child. We don’t do any extra worksheets however he finds his own work to do. He makes his own maths questions up, plays endless times tables games, reads whatever he can get his hands on and corrects poor grammar. He’d love it if we gave him extra worksheets because he finds his class work boring and too easy, even the mastery stuff. He just does other extra curriculars instead to broaden his experiences. I’d hate him to be judged for being who he is.

Learsning has been massively disrupted for children over the past year I don’t blame any parents who have decided to make extra efforts with their children’s learning

I'm not entirely sure what your issue is, other than the fact that the mother is a sahm and very wealthy. If you have a very advanced, gifted child, you should do everything in your power to encourage that child to explore their mind to the limits, so long as the child is not pressured.

@FrankChurchillsHaircut

I don't understand why this would annoy you op.

Same here.

I used to beg my mum to buy me workbooks at that age

My daughter used to beg me to buy her some harder maths workbooks at that age so I can confirm this does happen. There's just something extremely satisfying about understanding and carrying on to the next level. I'm the same with cryptic crosswords (but not maths. Never maths)

You have no means of knowing whether there is a "need" for this or not. Maybe there is, on the basis that the kid would otherwise be really bored.

I don’t see the real benefit personally, you are better off ‘expanding their horizons’ in different ways in my opinion.

@istherelifeafter40

It is this mentality in Britain that bright people are only bright by design and absolutely cannot and will not study more than others. Everything has to be effortless. I hate to break it to you it is not how it works. At some point in school students that succeed and are very bright by all accounts are ALSO THE ONES who work really hard. You can't get A* at A level by doing nothing

YYY, the myth of genius. And if you expect your children to work hard in school and put forth their best effort at homework, or provide opportunities for them to stretch themselves in the academic sphere, you are 'sharp elbowed'.

@OppsUpsSide

I don’t see the real benefit personally, you are better off ‘expanding their horizons’ in different ways in my opinion.

What makes you think she doesn't do that too?

I do extra work with my school age children after school. Probably about 30 minutes a day. They don’t ask to do the extra work but it is part of our routine so they rarely grumble. They are both near top of their classes. Some people are so snobby about children who do well due to hard work rather than just natural brightness, you see it all of the time of grammar school threads.