To think you can have a perfectly nice life as an only child?!

[GordonYaSelfishTwit]

Am I the only 'only" who actually really enjoyed their childhood and has never once felt hard done by because I don't have a sibling?

I always see people talk about this as if it's really negative but I really liked being an only child (and I still do!).

My child has half siblings on their dad's side but if not, he'd be an only too! And he will likely grow up like one in day to day life as his siblings are quite a bit older. I don't feel guilty for not 'giving him a sibling'.

I agree that the "entirely alone" thing that some people talk about is weird...if anything only children are never really alone because they have built up so many strong bonds outside the family over their lives as a result. I do worry that those who think their children will be "entirely alone" are not very good at making and keeping close friendships...but that's probably pretty harsh of me. But I do feel.like some people judge the "plight " of only children pretty harshly as if we are somehow missing out on something vital..

My sister is 6 years older as children we where always in such different life stages it didn’t really feel like I had a sibling iyswim my ds is an only and even if I have another I’m still young but not looking likely the age difference will allready be more then me and my sister so he’ll feel like an only anyway he seems happy has many friends from school that we see out of school in normal times and even now in the park a couple of times a week I don’t feel he’s missing out at all.

@LilMidge01

I agree that the "entirely alone" thing that some people talk about is weird...if anything only children are never really alone because they have built up so many strong bonds outside the family over their lives as a result. I do worry that those who think their children will be "entirely alone" are not very good at making and keeping close friendships...but that's probably pretty harsh of me. But I do feel.like some people judge the "plight " of only children pretty harshly as if we are somehow missing out on something vital..

My best friend is 2 years older and we've been friends since I was 13. She's basically an older sister I chose. She would definitely be there for me if my parents died.

I'm an only child, loved it as a child and happy as an adult. I have no recollection of being lonely as a child, I had plenty of friends to play with as well as a great relationship with my parents and grandparents. I think being an only child did give me more independence and confidence as a child, and certainly more comfortable interacting with adults than some of my peers. .

As an adult I'm still happy being an only child, I still have a great relationship with my parents and I'd be lying if I said I'm pleased that I don't have to share them. I have great friends and I don't think I'm missing out on anything for not having a sibling relationship. Yes eventually it's likely that all the care for my parents will fall to me but that happened to my mum despite having a sister, and has happened to several of my friends despite having siblings.

I think some people paint a rosy view of the siblings as both children and adults.

@RollaCola84... you have written a great post here. I really hope DS will feel like you when he grows up! He's going through a rebellious phase and it's not been easy lately.
I don't think he'll be interested in us when he's older. Boys seldom are and it's usually the girls that take on the burden of elderly parents. I have to look after my dad and my brother never even bothers phoning him!
So yeah siblings aren't all that great in my experience.

I’m an only with an only. I know my limits and couldn’t cope with two.

I’ve seen a lot of people fall out with siblings over inheritance and caring for elderly parents. I’m ok not having that.

Also, you can’t guarantee you’d get on with your sibling. So that support and kinship people think you’re missing out on might not exist even if you did have a sibling.

I hope my child isn’t sad she doesn’t have a sibling as she gets older and I will keep a sociable open house so that she doesn’t feel lonely.

I was perfectly happy as an only child. As an adult I wish I'd had a brother or sister but that's probably because I lost my parents at a young age.

Having a sibling is no guarantee of help with elderly parents - my dad's brother moved abroad when he was 20 and then to Australia when he was 60 - he's simply never been around, and now of course he's stuck out there for the foreseeable.

I'm an only with an only and am absolutely fine with that. I had a lovely childhood, was never really bothered about having siblings, have lots of friends and find it easy to make friends, despite being quiet and introverted. I think only children learn how to make friends quickly.

I don't really understand the wishing you had someone to help out with parents thing... there has never been anyone else, they're my parents, no-one else's. I can't imagine there being someone else, or how that dynamic would work.

@CroutonsAvatar .. eexactly. I'm with you 100%

*I'm an only with an only and am absolutely fine with that. I had a lovely childhood, was never really bothered about having siblings, have lots of friends and find it easy to make friends, despite being quiet and introverted. I think only children learn how to make friends quickly.

I don't really understand the wishing you had someone to help out with parents thing... there has never been anyone else, they're my parents, no-one else's. I can't imagine there being someone else, or how that dynamic would work.*

Totally agreed

@GordonYaSelfishTwit

Whilst I do understand the whole 'what about when your parents die' thing, I don't value my whole life based on what will happen when my parents are (hopefully) elderly. I have had a good life, a positive childhood and so far a positive transition into adulthood too. Yes it may be shit when my parents die or I have to care for them alone (no guarantees of not having to do so with siblings either) but the rest of my life has been great being an only child.

Love this OP

@ShadierThanaPalmTree

Reading with interest as I have an only child. I desperately don't want to have another. I don't want to go through the pregnancy, labour and new born stage again. Financially I would struggle and I would need to move to a bigger house. But I feel so pressured to have another one so that my DD has a sibling.

On one of the Facebook groups someone said their DH, who's an only child himself, says if you feel you have to have a sibling to give your child a happy life, you need to consider your parenting rather than having a second child. I'm in exactly the same position as you @ShadierThanaPalmTree and hearing that really helped me.

It's possible our onlies may wish they had a sibling when they're more grown up, but they'd be looking through rose tinted glasses as the reality could be very different.