Just buy a bloody child lock and take some responsibility for your own child!

[takeresponsibilityforyourchild]

Probably being massively U here, and I am fully expecting to be flamed.
So I don’t drip feed- we moved into our house around 18 months ago and at first we said hello etc to our neighbours two doors down with little to no response.
We have had two interactions with them since.
First was neighbours two large Labrador type dogs running up my drive barking and jumping up at my mum. Neighbour found this funny, understandably my mother didn’t.
The second time was during the first lockdown they were drinking at the end of my drive with another neighbour until 3am. Twice my husband very politely asked them to keep the noise down to be met with a torrent of abuse. They left broken glass and a spilt drink which stained the drive, our other neighbours cleared this up. Since then they have completely blanked us.
So already I do not like these people, which may be clouding my judgment.
We live on a new-ish estate with speed bumps.
I was going EXACTLY 15mph down the road and pulled up at my drive with my two year old in the back. As I got out the car neighbour said when you pull up on your drive can you go slower because my child (who is a similar age to mine) can open the door.
I said no, I won’t.
To which she started to raise her voice, I didn’t do this as I had my child with me. I asked her if she had a child lock on her front door and suggested that if she doesn’t she should get one to prevent her child from getting out. By now the woman is ranting and raving at me in the middle of the street. I can be quite firey when provoked and only kept my cool because of my child.
Couple of points as to why I won’t change the perfectly acceptable way I drive.
I was going 15mph, way below the legal speed limit and reasonable for a residential street. If she’s that bothered she can write to her local councillor and ask for them to change the speed limit.
They have been nothing but rude to my family since we moved in, why should I do anything for them?
Every time I pull up they’re sat at the window looking out, instead of sitting at the window all day concerning themselves with what others are doing, maybe they should pay more attention to their child who can apparently get out.
I have taken safety precautions to prevent my child coming to harm including safety locks, a chain on the door and baby gates around the house, why can't they do this?
She made a request that I slow down, I declined, I believe I am perfectly reasonable driving onto my property at 15mph. Neighbour seems to think that this was a command and I should bow down.
Why do they think it’s my responsibility to make sure their child is safe instead of them?!

I suspect she’s on here (hi neighbour) as she has a child around the same age as mine, and this is massively outing, so name change and all that.

Also I can provide diagrams of drives if necessary!

Also, I would be horrified if my neighbour said her toddler could open the front door and get out into the street. I mean what.

I would have just agreed for the sake of not causing an argument and then carried on doing what I wanted. But I hate confrontation

I agree their 2 year old shouldn't be able to get out of the house on their own so that should be a non-issue. It's a stupid approach to try and quash dangers in the outside world rather than just stopping the child getting out of the house.

But on the other hand there might be other children around so if you are going a bit fast it might be worth taking that on board and slowing down. 15mph could be quite fast to pull onto a driveway.

This is simple.
You might not ‘intend’ to run over a small child, but (terrible, horrible) accidents can happen (you don’t want that).
Your neighbour is very well aware that accidents can happen and has warned you that their child might escape their house and be in the road/driveway (despite anything they’re trying to do to prevent it).
As the driver of YOUR vehicle it’s entirely YOUR responsibility to ensure you drive safely.
I’m sure that now you’re aware the child might be there you’ll be more careful anyway.
You’re not considering driving along at however many mph and NOT looking out for potential hazards anyway, as a careful driver. Are you?

Er how is anyone standing up for the mother? She sounds insane. She's happy to leave her child alone long enough to wander out of the house and end up god knows where before she's realised. In a place where she is also happy to leave broken glass (if the other neighbours hadn't cleaned it up, it would still be there unless op cleaned it up). She also has no control over her two large dogs it appears, wonder how long before one bites her child or someone else's?

How is any of this ops problem? She's driving bloody slowly down that street, easily slow enough to spot the child in time and stop. I used to live on a big estate and the most likely people I saw driving over 30 on the roads was the people with children (usually in the car). They had no regard for anyone, let alone the children playing in the streets or their own kids.

OP, ignore her. You did nothing wrong and I wouldn't take any advice from such a shit person anyway.

Grow up @takeresponsibilityforyourchild

@doorornottodoor

I am aghast at how aggressive some of you are! Isn’t it better to get along with people rather than always be in the right? Wow.

I'm more aghast at how many people on here think 15 is too fast. You should be able to so an emergency stop and stop almost immediately at 30. 15 is easily slow enough to watch for any children, animals etc and stop before you hit them, you know if you're paying attention.

It's only worth trying to get along with a person when there is at least something worthwhile about the person you're trying to get along with. It doesn't sound like this woman would add much positivity to the OPs life from the description of her typical behaviour.

I don’t think anyone is standing up for the mother. Just pointing out that, as she is now aware that there may be a 2 year old running about, that it would be better to slow down anyway rather than risk hitting the child. What the OP said would have sounded as if she didn’t care if she hit the child or not.

I’d just shut up and slow down to be honest..,,you’d feel far worse if something happened. I have to do very very slow driving/reversing at my house because my careless neighbours

They often have their preschool grandchildren frolicking about in front of their house..,it’s ludicrously negligent IMO and I warn everyone who ever comes near my house that there are unattended children out there frequently. It’s a cul de sac with three houses in it so they’re probably overly confident. Makes me so uneasy. Am planning on speaking to them about it the next time grandchildren are there - I don’t even let my 8 &11 out the front unsupervised

You're not being unreasonable at all. But I would probably have just said "oh yeah sure" and then carried on doing my thing.

@ClarkeGriffin

Also it’s not about the speed, If you have a small child behind your car, you CANNOT see them.

It has happened to me before - see my pay above

She wants you to slow down because she can’t be bothered to take responsibility for her child not running out into roads? Madness.

Has she asked other road users too?

People like this astound me. She is drunk and shouting at 3am, and when asked to be quiet (very reasonable request) says no. Ok. You driving well under speed limit, asked a weird request rightly said no. She’s cross about that? She thinks she has the right to say no but you have to bow down to her? Aye right love.

If my toddler escaped the house and ran onto the road where someone was or was not speeding it would be my fault as a parent. Just keep your children in your bloody house!

[quote FrozenVag]@ClarkeGriffin

Also it’s not about the speed, If you have a small child behind your car, you CANNOT see them.

It has happened to me before - see my pay above[/quote]
It's also not about driving into her driveway, it's about driving down the street at 15mph, so unless op is reversing down the whole street at 15mph, your point makes no sense.

Do people drive at less than 15mph down the street? OP said there are speed bumps along the street and she pulls onto her drive. Surely you'd see a runaway 2 year old at that speed? Am I going mad?

15mph is a very slow speed that many of us would love to have people stick to (the speed limit here is 20mph, speed humps etc yet still they whizz through at 35/40mph, crashing over the speed hump in front of my house) yanbu but I would not get into a confrontational argument, she's obviously not going to listen

Maybe I could have responded by saying yes, rolling over at her feet and kissing her toes. But I didn't.

Being a bit dramatic aren't you? How about just saying "yep" "sure" "right" or giving a small nod.

If I found her child roaming around the streets unattended I would be inclined to have a word and remind her that it’s a massive safety issue, ask her if everything is ok? She doesn’t sound like she’s coping with life very well.

If you’re just met with aggression I’d maybe get advice from the NSPCC because not ensuring your toddler is running wild on the street is neglect and if the kid was subsequently knocked down and killed I would feel awful if I’d known it had happened before and not acted upon it.

She sounds awful. The problem is with people like this, is that they’re bullies - she’s already been difficult when you asked them to stop congregating at the bottom of your drive making noise, and this is just a further step in her trying to dominate situations. If you bow down to her demands, there will be more demands coming your way. With bullies, it’s all about control. I would continue to do what you do. Who knows if she is being truthful about the door lock? She sounds vile and unhinged, and I would just blank the woman.

What's she going to do, run out and shout at every car driving in the street to slow down? Tell her to fuck off and protect her child adequately. If he can open the front door then there should be something on the door to stop him. Simple. Fuckibg entitled parents.

It sounds to me as if she knows they have behaved badly, and is looking for something to get back at you, to show that you are not superior. I would ignore, and if you are driving safely and carefully, carry on!

I completely understand why you’re so pissed off with this woman. It has nothing to do with wanting to run over her child or other nonsense that has been implied in this thread.

It’s because she’s decided you’re responsible for ensuring her child’s safety instead of her, and this coming after the broken glass incident makes her a hypocrite as it shows she doesn’t give a crap about the safety of anyone else’s kids.

I’d have just said that unless she’s going to talk to every other driver that passes then she is not doing much to improve her child’s safety and rather than laying it at your door (like the broken glass they left) they should take responsibility.

I know it's not what this thread is about but I am v glad I opened it as now I know you can get child locks for doors!

I live in a new build which doesn't have a key hole on the inside and assumed I was going to have to replace the lock when DS is old enough to start reaching the lock (he is currently only 11 months so not put much thought into it)

Yanbu but for the sake of not escalating a war with my neighbours that I might have to declare when trying to sell and move on in the future, I would have just said something like 'ah the little bugger! You should look at getting one of those child locks!' with a smile and not really acknowledge her request.

I can't understand this, OP. It's like you want to hit her child to teach her a lesson or something.
And as PP said you should be backing into your drive. (My guess is you're not a very good driver, and that this observation will hit a nerve, and you will double down on your defensiveness by reasserting your technical correctness about not being over the speed limit etc etc etc, demonstrating your further insecurity
Don't you just love Mumsnet at times?
A poster driving at a safe speed who thinks a neighbour is responsible for preventing their child running into the street somehow attracts the most ridiculous claims of wanting to run a child over, must be a terrible driver, and must obviously be in the wrong because the neighbour (with a history of unpleasant behaviour) has hit a nerve that shows the OP's insecurity.

Out of interest suspiria777, what exactly do you think the neighbour should do in the (likely) event that the road is used by a range of motorists other than the OP?
Would you be frothing about how they must want to knock over a child? After all, the neighbour won't have categorically told each and every one of them to follow the neighbour imposed speed limit in order to account for her neglectful parenting.