Just buy a bloody child lock and take some responsibility for your own child!

[takeresponsibilityforyourchild]

Probably being massively U here, and I am fully expecting to be flamed.
So I don’t drip feed- we moved into our house around 18 months ago and at first we said hello etc to our neighbours two doors down with little to no response.
We have had two interactions with them since.
First was neighbours two large Labrador type dogs running up my drive barking and jumping up at my mum. Neighbour found this funny, understandably my mother didn’t.
The second time was during the first lockdown they were drinking at the end of my drive with another neighbour until 3am. Twice my husband very politely asked them to keep the noise down to be met with a torrent of abuse. They left broken glass and a spilt drink which stained the drive, our other neighbours cleared this up. Since then they have completely blanked us.
So already I do not like these people, which may be clouding my judgment.
We live on a new-ish estate with speed bumps.
I was going EXACTLY 15mph down the road and pulled up at my drive with my two year old in the back. As I got out the car neighbour said when you pull up on your drive can you go slower because my child (who is a similar age to mine) can open the door.
I said no, I won’t.
To which she started to raise her voice, I didn’t do this as I had my child with me. I asked her if she had a child lock on her front door and suggested that if she doesn’t she should get one to prevent her child from getting out. By now the woman is ranting and raving at me in the middle of the street. I can be quite firey when provoked and only kept my cool because of my child.
Couple of points as to why I won’t change the perfectly acceptable way I drive.
I was going 15mph, way below the legal speed limit and reasonable for a residential street. If she’s that bothered she can write to her local councillor and ask for them to change the speed limit.
They have been nothing but rude to my family since we moved in, why should I do anything for them?
Every time I pull up they’re sat at the window looking out, instead of sitting at the window all day concerning themselves with what others are doing, maybe they should pay more attention to their child who can apparently get out.
I have taken safety precautions to prevent my child coming to harm including safety locks, a chain on the door and baby gates around the house, why can't they do this?
She made a request that I slow down, I declined, I believe I am perfectly reasonable driving onto my property at 15mph. Neighbour seems to think that this was a command and I should bow down.
Why do they think it’s my responsibility to make sure their child is safe instead of them?!

I suspect she’s on here (hi neighbour) as she has a child around the same age as mine, and this is massively outing, so name change and all that.

Also I can provide diagrams of drives if necessary!

YANBU. People who let their children get out on to the street before they're old enough to have road sense are just as bad as people who let their dogs roam free imo.

They've done both!

They sound like a nightmare and their child absolutely should not be able to escape onto a driveway! However, I do think that you should maybe slow down, 15 mph when pulling in is actually reasonably fast, if it’s a residential area/estate where kids might be playing, I’d be driving super, super slowly when pulling in.

YANBU it’s not your problem. Interesting how they think they can do what they want and then try to tell you what to do. Ignore!

I can’t imagine why you would argue, you’ve just made the crappy situation worse
Just slow down a bit
15mph pulling into a drive ?

@Condenast

I can’t imagine why you would argue, you’ve just made the crappy situation worse Just slow down a bit 15mph pulling into a drive ?

No, 15pmh driving down the road. Completely acceptable. Also if I wanted to drive on my property at 15pmh what has it got to do with her?

You sound like an arse. You live in close quarters and she felt you came onto the drive quite quickly. I think you've let your hatred of them get the better of you. If you did knock down their child it would be your fault...

Is she intending to tell every driver in the area to only travel at a snail's pace in case her unattended toddler is milling about in the road? Will she perhaps take out an ad in the paper?

Utterly ridiculous. Obviously people should be driving sensibly and with awareness of their surroundings, and children are a likely occurrence in a residential street.

But if your toddler is able to and likely to leave the house, alone, and wander into the road then not doing anything to prevent that happening is negligent.

Well this situation is never going to get better with your attitude is it?
Let’s just spend the rest of our lives hating the people we live close to
Or, maybe try and be nice, be the better person

YANBU. About time you start to stick up for yourself OP. Your neighbours sound like arseholes.

@AppletonP

You sound like an arse. You live in close quarters and she felt you came onto the drive quite quickly. I think you've let your hatred of them get the better of you. If you did knock down their child it would be your fault...

No, I have been polite to them since moving in only to be met with contempt. She asked and I said no, at no point did I raise my voice or was rude.

The simple solution is for them to have a child lock and pay attention to their child.

YANBU. If their toddler is roaming the streets unattended, trying to slow all the cars down is a bloody weird way of trying to make the situation safer.

I get that she’s annoying you, and has form for being inconsiderate, but for all you know she’s in the process of working out how to stop her Houdini toddler from escaping and is using child locks etc. In your position I think I would have just said oh dear what a worry for you, yes I’ll be careful and perhaps tried to chat to her about what you have in common (small children).

Of course you’re allowed to drive at the speed you did, but if you knocked over her toddler after she’d warned you she was concerned about her running out, I think you’d feel pretty awful.

I am wondering though—I can imagine another thread about the neighbor who drives too fast, and MN posters advising someone to perhaps just mention they’re worried about their toddler getting out.....

Although, you should be reversing onto your drive so you can drive off it, in accordance with the highway code, and you'd be going some to reverse at 15mph.

It’s a tough one because of course YANBU and she should definitely not be allowing her child to roam outside. However, what if you did accidentally knock down the little one? I know I would never forgive myself. As annoying as it is, i think I would have to be slowing down a bit as I pulled onto my drive. I’d never admit to it though 😂

I was going EXACTLY 15mph down the road and pulled up at my drive with my two year old in the back. As I got out the car neighbour said when you pull up on your drive can you go slower because my child (who is a similar age to mine) can open the door.
I said no, I won’t

I read as far as this, then I chose not to read on, as anyone who refuses to drive slower in a residential area where there is always a risk of small children being in the road are absolutely disgusting. You’ve actually shown that you care less for the life of a child than you do about pissing off your neighbours.

Has no one told you that the designated speed limit doesn’t actually mean you are supposed to drive at that speed?

15mph is a perfectly reasonable speed to drive on residential streets. Kids shouldn't be in the road. Either they should have the road sense to not get hit by a car going 15mph or they should be with their parent.

They sound awful.

Well done for standing your ground though - they will hopefully think twice over confronting you over similar bullshit again in the future.

YANBU

But maybe do slow down a bit anyway just in case their poor 2 year old has been allowed to roam the streets.

@cunningartificer

I get that she’s annoying you, and has form for being inconsiderate, but for all you know she’s in the process of working out how to stop her Houdini toddler from escaping and is using child locks etc. In your position I think I would have just said oh dear what a worry for you, yes I’ll be careful and perhaps tried to chat to her about what you have in common (small children).

Of course you’re allowed to drive at the speed you did, but if you knocked over her toddler after she’d warned you she was concerned about her running out, I think you’d feel pretty awful.

I am wondering though—I can imagine another thread about the neighbor who drives too fast, and MN posters advising someone to perhaps just mention they’re worried about their toddler getting out.....

I'd be surprised if she was trying to work out how to stop her child escaping as she has two other older children. Of course I'd feel terrible if I hit her child, I'm not for one second debating that. What I am saying is that I am well within reason driving down a road at 15mph. What is unreasonable is her behaviour and shouting at me in front of my child.

@GoToSleepBabyPlease

Although, you should be reversing onto your drive so you can drive off it, in accordance with the highway code, and you'd be going some to reverse at 15mph.

Christ I'm not Lewis Hamilton!!!

Wow did no one read the post properly op was going down road at 15 miles not her drive, also neighbour does not have child locks the op does you are defo not unreasonable op

I wouldn’t have said what you said. It just makes a bad situation worse. I would have just said sure, no problem and maybe suggest a child lock like the one you’ve got.

Personally I would be tempted to offer some form of olive branch. It would have been upsetting for her to hear that you wouldn’t slow down. She’ll have heard that as - I will knock your child down if I want!

Drivers are required to drive in a way that is appropriate for the conditions and visibility. 15mph is entirely reasonable and you are able to stop if required, like a responsible driver would for any other hazard.

Unsurprisingly people are out in force to argue that you should drive substantially slower because someone else doesn't feel like supervising her children. Her lack of logic is worrying: the road has cars, many will be doing more than 15mph, so the way to keep her child safe is to tell one particular road user off.

Just try to put yourself in her shoes. I get that you’re mad but what do you want to happen here?