Just buy a bloody child lock and take some responsibility for your own child!

[takeresponsibilityforyourchild]

Probably being massively U here, and I am fully expecting to be flamed.
So I don’t drip feed- we moved into our house around 18 months ago and at first we said hello etc to our neighbours two doors down with little to no response.
We have had two interactions with them since.
First was neighbours two large Labrador type dogs running up my drive barking and jumping up at my mum. Neighbour found this funny, understandably my mother didn’t.
The second time was during the first lockdown they were drinking at the end of my drive with another neighbour until 3am. Twice my husband very politely asked them to keep the noise down to be met with a torrent of abuse. They left broken glass and a spilt drink which stained the drive, our other neighbours cleared this up. Since then they have completely blanked us.
So already I do not like these people, which may be clouding my judgment.
We live on a new-ish estate with speed bumps.
I was going EXACTLY 15mph down the road and pulled up at my drive with my two year old in the back. As I got out the car neighbour said when you pull up on your drive can you go slower because my child (who is a similar age to mine) can open the door.
I said no, I won’t.
To which she started to raise her voice, I didn’t do this as I had my child with me. I asked her if she had a child lock on her front door and suggested that if she doesn’t she should get one to prevent her child from getting out. By now the woman is ranting and raving at me in the middle of the street. I can be quite firey when provoked and only kept my cool because of my child.
Couple of points as to why I won’t change the perfectly acceptable way I drive.
I was going 15mph, way below the legal speed limit and reasonable for a residential street. If she’s that bothered she can write to her local councillor and ask for them to change the speed limit.
They have been nothing but rude to my family since we moved in, why should I do anything for them?
Every time I pull up they’re sat at the window looking out, instead of sitting at the window all day concerning themselves with what others are doing, maybe they should pay more attention to their child who can apparently get out.
I have taken safety precautions to prevent my child coming to harm including safety locks, a chain on the door and baby gates around the house, why can't they do this?
She made a request that I slow down, I declined, I believe I am perfectly reasonable driving onto my property at 15mph. Neighbour seems to think that this was a command and I should bow down.
Why do they think it’s my responsibility to make sure their child is safe instead of them?!

I suspect she’s on here (hi neighbour) as she has a child around the same age as mine, and this is massively outing, so name change and all that.

Also I can provide diagrams of drives if necessary!

Typical

Really OP you are going to drive as fast as you are legally permitted even though there is a risk of hitting a child and you are determined to make this war with your neighbour even worse than it already was.

Your neighbourhood and lifestyle are going down the drain fast

Is it perfectly reasonable to say no to someone having legitimate safely concern? it’s not a legitimate safety concern. There is literally no reason why a two year old should be able to get out of the house unsupervised. If the woman doesn’t want to put child locks on the door then she should just lock it with a key.

Incidentally, if I saw a two year old wandering the streets unsupervised I’d be reporting her to social services.

If this thread was the other way around people would be telling the OP to supervise her child.

@Coyoacan

Really OP you are going to drive as fast as you are legally permitted even though there is a risk of hitting a child and you are determined to make this war with your neighbour even worse than it already was.

Your neighbourhood and lifestyle are going down the drain fast

Since when was 15mph the speed limit? Bloody hell, you're a bit dramatic

Tbh, you're both being a bit unreasonable. She is entirely responsible for ensuring her child is safe and can't escape into the road. But I don't know why you'd risk knocking down a child just because you have a legal right to go at a certain speed. And if you're happy that you're going at a safe speed and could stop for a child, why not just nod pleasantly rather than antagonising her?

I wouldn't give a toss anyway about getting on with the neighbours I have as little as possible to do with mine. Say hello and thats it.

OP, your neighbour sounds awful.

I don’t think you have done anything wrong and I would keep on as you are. If your neighbour can’t take responsibility for her child maybe social services should be involved? I think I would be saying that to her if she tells you to drive more slowly again because she can’t keep her small child in the house.

If her dogs are out of control I would be contacting the police as well.

Your neighbour is someone who knows all of her rights but none of her responsibilities. She also sounds like a bully so I would have no problem with authorities when she proves to be a crap parent or pet owner.

I am aghast at how aggressive some of you are! Isn’t it better to get along with people rather than always be in the right? Wow.

I would have just said yes but then not actually changed me speed. You knew the reaction you would get by saying no, it sounds like you just wanted revenge and to piss her off.

@Regularsizedrudy

I would have just said yes but then not actually changed me speed. You knew the reaction you would get by saying no, it sounds like you just wanted revenge and to piss her off.

It wasn't revenge, she asked and I answered truthfully

What is not reasonable is being shouted at in the street AT ALL when I have my child with me

This woman is not in charge of you, cheeky bitch.

Stupid thing to get on your high horse about when you could have said ‘no problem’ and not given the impression that you’re happy to kill a child for the sake of proving a point to your neighbour.

You must live near me OP. Many of my neighbours think it is perfectly acceptable to let their kids play unsupervised in the street. In fact, I would go so far as to say they encourage it. They prattle on like it’s some kind of status symbol “Isn't where we live just so wonderful? It’s safe enough for kids to play out on the street!”
It’s a road fgs. I pity the driver that hits one of the kids messing around in the street on a blind corner. It doesn’t matter if they are going 20mph or 2mph, it’s going to get ugly. I get that the driver should be able to stop safely, but at the same time, kids should not be on their hands and knees doing chalk drawings on the road where they can’t be seen.

I think it would have been better for you to say something like, I was only driving at 15 mph, but don't worry I'll definitely keep an eye out for your child.

You've just escalated things really and I don't think they needed to get that bad.

And what did your truthful answer achieve? More bad feeling and getting shouted at in the street. Great.

@GoToSleepBabyPlease

Although, you should be reversing onto your drive so you can drive off it, in accordance with the highway code, and you'd be going some to reverse at 15mph.

That’s only if you’re on a main road.

Wow op is still getting shit off ppl she was DRIVING under the speed limit on the road she was SHOUTED at for not agreeing to an unreasonable request in front of her child the person responsible is the neighbour who should be taking measures to make sure HER child is safe 🙄 sorry op but I recommend if you ever see her child unsupervised I would report to social services

It's best practice to always reverse in and drive out- that's why they teach the bay park when you learn to drive. There's more likely to be someone behind you on a path or road than on your driveway, whether you're on a main road or not.

@AppletonP

You sound like an arse. You live in close quarters and she felt you came onto the drive quite quickly. I think you've let your hatred of them get the better of you. If you did knock down their child it would be your fault...

Or maybe they can take some responsibility for their prodigy, if the child gets out because they are poor parents who couldn't care less that's entirely their fault. I get the feeling that whatever the speed was it would be too fast for these idiots.

Is the neighbour going to speak to every single person who drives along the road to tell them to slow down because her child escapes? If she knows her toddler can open the door, she needs to secure the door!

@GoToSleepBabyPlease

It's best practice to always reverse in and drive out- that's why they teach the bay park when you learn to drive. There's more likely to be someone behind you on a path or road than on your driveway, whether you're on a main road or not.

Best practice or not you referred to highway code which advises to reverse onto driveway when on a main road. Nothing about minor roads.

as anyone who refuses to drive slower in a residential area where there is always a risk of small children being in the road are absolutely disgusting. You’ve actually shown that you care less for the life of a child than you do about pissing off your neighbours.

So everyone should drive less than 15mph in residential areas?

Bonkers

@NewPapaGuinea

The Highway Code says
When using a driveway, reverse in and drive out if you can.

Thank you for your responses, I'm going to bow out now as my child has decided she no longer likes to sleep and I'm shattered.

-I'm not going to change the way I drive, it is perfectly safe and I'm fully aware of my surroundings.

-I have no intentions of hitting the child or anyone else. I know this may disappoint some of you who decided I'm a dangerous driver and want to run over a small child.

-Maybe I could have responded by saying yes, rolling over at her feet and kissing her toes. But I didn't.

-I do not 'hate' my neighbours nor am I holding a grudge, I was just giving some background information

-I will not be going round with my tail between my legs to apologise. I was not abusive or shouting. If she would like to approach me at any point to discuss anything I will again, be polite. But going from past behaviour she won't be.

Goodnight

The pair of you sound awful. Well deserved neighbours