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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask her to change it?

595 replies

Leprechaunsundays · 08/04/2021 16:38

I’m 7 months pregnant and DH and I finally have a girls name we love. It’s pretty unusual and we don’t know a single person with it. It’s something like 900th in popularity. We haven’t told anyone this name.

My friend just got a new puppy last week and posted a picture on Facebook of it announcing this same name! I immediately messaged her and said I was really sorry but that was the name we had chosen for our DD and can she choose something else. She just did the laughing emoji react to my message and then sent back “Haha that’s hilarious we chose the same one! It is a cool name though!”. She didn’t agree to change it, that’s all she said. But I assumed she understood and would do the decent thing.

Anyway today she posted again on Facebook that she had made an Instagram account for this puppy... and the name was still the same!!! What should I message her next? I thought she understood last time and now it’s just awkward to have to say it again

OP posts:
FleetwoodRaincoat · 08/04/2021 16:59

My friend has a dog and a wife with the same name (the dog was a rescue, so already called this).

Don't worry about it.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 08/04/2021 16:59

Poppy and daisy seem to be really popular dog names at the moment, I hope all the human poppies and daisies can cope with sharing their names with dogs Grin

Honestly get a grip

1992EM · 08/04/2021 16:59

If I was your friend I wouldn't change the name either. It isn't up to you and it is her puppy. These things happen unfortunately. It doesn't mean you can't use it too . She wouldn't have known you had picked it. It would be the same as if your friend had a baby and used the name before you .

LonginesPrime · 08/04/2021 16:59

But it’s a name we worked really hard to find and we wanted something unusual. Now it won’t be because the dog has it.

So really, you're disappointed that the name you thought was incredibly rare actually isn't after all.

You didn't tell your friend the name - she came up with it independently, so clearly the name can't be that rare.

Washimal · 08/04/2021 16:59

But it’s a name we worked really hard to find

I know this isn't really the point of the thread, but if you think choosing a name was "really hard work" you're in for a shock when the baby comes!

Your friend was being kind and trying to spare your blushes by responding to your message as though she thought you were joking. You're lucky she didn't call you out for being self-involved and a CF. Don't embarrass yourself further by repeating your request.

EL8888 · 08/04/2021 17:00

Tough. She doesn’t appear to want to change it and you can’t make her. It’s just one of those things

NoGoodPunsLeft · 08/04/2021 17:00

@FleetwoodRaincoat

My friend has a dog and a wife with the same name (the dog was a rescue, so already called this).

Don't worry about it.

We had a rescue dog with the same name as my grandma, no one cared, we found it amusing
HarrietSchulenberg · 08/04/2021 17:00

I really don't think a dog's Instagram account is going to influence half the world to use the name you want to call your baby. If the name is already in existence that means there are many, many others out there with the same name.

In a professional capacity I recently came across what I thought was a very unusual name. I was required to attempt to trace this person. There are 18 people with this name in one county, 65 in the whole (small) country. Not as unusual as I'd thought. What we each think is unusual very often isn't.

Hadjab · 08/04/2021 17:00

@Leprechaunsundays

If we have a boy this time we’ll still keep the girls name for next time. I really thought nobody else would pick it as it was so unusual. I feel like now she’s picked it for her dog and even made an Instagram account for the dog, it might become more popular now because other people will have heard of it. So not only has she ruined it for this baby, but also for our next baby in case we don’t have a girl this time,

I actually think she maybe found out somehow even though we never told anyone.

I doubt she’ll be as influential on IG as you’re giving her credit for, there are thousands of dog accounts on there.

Unless she’s psychic, how could she possibly know what name you picked if you told no one?

Twizbe · 08/04/2021 17:00

Ok, take a step back OP.

No one owns a name. No one. She was free to name her dog whatever she wanted.

You are free to name your child whatever you want.

Neither is tainted by the other having that name.

Also, it's highly unlikely that this name is so unique that no one else will have it. I picked a name that had only 69 other girls names that in the year she was born .... one of those 69 happened to be next to me at baby yoga .... same middle name as well.

It happens, you'll get over it. But you cannot and should not expect her to change her dogs name. I'd have replied with a laughing emoji if you'd ask me that too.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 08/04/2021 17:01

You think she'll come to her senses....?

She's not going to change the dog's name. Either use it knowing it's the same or change your mind if your not happy to share it!!

I get why you're feeling put out about it - pregnancy has a habit of making little things seem bigger - but she has no reason to change her mind about her name choice simply because it's the same as you chose. You both have equal right to the name.

LonginesPrime · 08/04/2021 17:01

I will be using the name as I’m sure she will come to her senses. We have been friends for years and I can’t believe she would do this

Oh right - so this is a wind-up, then.

Kimye4eva · 08/04/2021 17:01

Oh OP, thanks for the giggles. You’ve brightened up an otherwise boring afternoon with your batshittery.

LostArcher · 08/04/2021 17:01

There are eleventy billion dog insta accounts. Honestly, I don't think a name will sweep in popularity to the extent you think because of a doggy insta account. I know it sucks a bit now but really this will pass. Your baby might not 'look' like a particular name either.

Dunkindonuts8 · 08/04/2021 17:01

The person who needs to "come to her senses" is you.

someonelockthefridgealready · 08/04/2021 17:02

I mean you could go full Cruelle de Vil and hunt the puppy down to turn it into a coat* - voilà, problem solved!

Or you could take a very deep breath and acknowledge that sometimes our hormones make us feel some mad emotions!

Congratulations, btw!

*I love dogs. I do not condone violence against any animal. This is not advice.

Wink
JustLyra · 08/04/2021 17:02

@Leprechaunsundays

If we have a boy this time we’ll still keep the girls name for next time. I really thought nobody else would pick it as it was so unusual. I feel like now she’s picked it for her dog and even made an Instagram account for the dog, it might become more popular now because other people will have heard of it. So not only has she ruined it for this baby, but also for our next baby in case we don’t have a girl this time,

I actually think she maybe found out somehow even though we never told anyone.

You think she found out even though you didn’t tell anyone? How does that work then?

Do you think she read your mind then spitefully used the name for the dog?

She’s picked the name for her dog. She won’t be changing it. Accept that you’ll be using the same name (and it will be you using the same name as she picked it first) or find a different name.

MiddleClassProblem · 08/04/2021 17:02

I’m sorry but I was happy to give you the benefit of the doubt that this was just a mix of hormones and PFB feelings but this...

Thank you for understanding! I will be using the name as I’m sure she will come to her senses. We have been friends for years and I can’t believe she would do this

...is so entitled and short sighted. Op, it’s just the wrong view. “Come to her senses” and “can’t believe she would do this”!?! She named her puppy. It’s done. Your child isn’t due for two months. You are the one who is acting a bit ridiculous.

Tinydinosaur · 08/04/2021 17:02

I really can't work out if you're serious. You STILL think she should change the name despite everyone telling you you're wrong?!
It's unfortunate, but tough. It can't be that rare of a name if someone's thought of it for their dog, it must be a name she's heard before. You're being ridiculous, it may be because you're pregnant and things seems so huge, or because you're just that kind of person. But you need to drop this or risk losing the friendship.

Owwlie · 08/04/2021 17:02

I will be using the name as I’m sure she will come to her senses.

It’s you that needs to come to your senses.

purplecup · 08/04/2021 17:02

Wow..just wow.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 08/04/2021 17:03

Also you might never have a girl.anyway

overwork · 08/04/2021 17:03

It's not your friend that needs to come to her senses - it's you! Of course you don't get to decide what your friend can call her dog, any more than she could ask you to change your baby's name if you'd had the baby before she got her dog. Good grief.

JustYourAverageSue · 08/04/2021 17:03

@LostArcher

We're naming our son Wulfric (Wolfie for short) and we've had people express concerns about it. So it's nice to hear that your son would've liked it as a name!

OfTheNight · 08/04/2021 17:03

Seriously OP what are you going on about?
Your friend has done nothing wrong and she doesn’t need to change the puppy’s name.
You do not own this name. Even if it is not a name you consider to be popular there will be other children/pets/cars/you name it with this name.
Your friend does not need to come to her senses. You’re being a bit silly. I know pregnancy can be stressful but you’re making an issue out of nothing.

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