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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask her to change it?

595 replies

Leprechaunsundays · 08/04/2021 16:38

I’m 7 months pregnant and DH and I finally have a girls name we love. It’s pretty unusual and we don’t know a single person with it. It’s something like 900th in popularity. We haven’t told anyone this name.

My friend just got a new puppy last week and posted a picture on Facebook of it announcing this same name! I immediately messaged her and said I was really sorry but that was the name we had chosen for our DD and can she choose something else. She just did the laughing emoji react to my message and then sent back “Haha that’s hilarious we chose the same one! It is a cool name though!”. She didn’t agree to change it, that’s all she said. But I assumed she understood and would do the decent thing.

Anyway today she posted again on Facebook that she had made an Instagram account for this puppy... and the name was still the same!!! What should I message her next? I thought she understood last time and now it’s just awkward to have to say it again

OP posts:
MolotovMocktail · 08/04/2021 17:03

OP you’re acting like now that there is a random puppy in the world with this name that all of a sudden everyone will be naming their daughter after it. There are millions of dogs on Instagram, the likelihood that it’s going to become an internet sensation is very small. The name is unusual not because you’re the first to discover it but because most people don’t like it. I personally can’t bear these “unique” names that the poor kid has to spend the rest of their life spelling out and correcting pronunciation.

Carryonlikeaporkchop · 08/04/2021 17:03

I actually think she maybe found out somehow even though we never told anyone.

How did she do this then?
Is she a mind reader?

When your child starts school there will probably be 2 others in her class with the same name anyway. Well there will be now!

How can you possibly know this?
Has your "mind reader" friend told you?

Get a bloody grip.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/04/2021 17:04

So you don't even know if you're having a girl? bahahaha

SoupDragon · 08/04/2021 17:04

I actually think she maybe found out somehow even though we never told anyone.

How? Is she a mind reader?

When your child starts school there will probably be 2 others in her class with the same name anyway.

Well there will be now!

Why? Will the dog be starting school with her?

Kimye4eva · 08/04/2021 17:05

I feel like now she’s picked it for her dog and even made an Instagram account for the dog, it might become more popular now because other people will have heard of it

Wait a minute. Is your friend famous? So you think everyone will think you named your baby after a famous person’s dog?

Why the hell would anyone take notice of a dog’s instagram account?!

worried3012 · 08/04/2021 17:05

Yes please accept other people/pets may share the same name and no name is patented.

You just have to accept it and you'll probably laugh at the silliness of this in about 2-3 years time.

Your friend hasn't done anything wrong, she chose the name and announced it before you did. No point thinking it's just a dog because yo many their pets are like their children . Put it like this, if someone asked you to not name your baby that name simply because they wanted it for their baby would you just change it?

FenceSplinters · 08/04/2021 17:05

You say you can’t believe she would do this? What, name her dog?
You need to get a grip or you will lose a friend.

scully29 · 08/04/2021 17:06

Please tell us the name if we promise not to name our own dogs it? I mostly cant believe people make instagrams for their dogs? whats that about? Id come off instagram thatl solve the problem?

Conditionconditioncondition · 08/04/2021 17:06

Thank you OP for the biggest laugh I’ve had in a long time

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/04/2021 17:06

I need a new name to call my next pet. What is the pups name can you not tell us?

KitKatBunny · 08/04/2021 17:07

I'm calling BS.

Original poster
Leprechaunsundays · 08/04/2021 17:07

Wow I have to say I’m shocked at all the responses telling me iabu but I will try to take it on board. I won’t message my friend again. I think I just thought she wouldn’t mind changing it

OP posts:
RhubarbFairy · 08/04/2021 17:08

When I was pregnant with DC1, DH told a friend who laughed and said 'that's my cats name'. Oh well, we still used it and DC1 has never met the cat.
Mind you, DH wouldn't let me use Charlotte for either DC as our cat is called Lottie. Didn't matter, I had all boys anyway.

Thank you for understanding! I will be using the name as I’m sure she will come to her senses. We have been friends for years and I can’t believe she would do this

She won't 'come to her senses' as she's told you she's not changing it. But glad you're going to keep the name anyway and hope you come to yours about this melodrama once your hormones have settled a little.

Also, re future children. You might have changed your mind by then. DS1 was going to be Edie. He was a boy. DS2 was going to be a completely different girls name. Also a boy. There's less than 2 years between them but your tastes change.

Santatizer · 08/04/2021 17:08

100% BS Easter Grin

scully29 · 08/04/2021 17:08

yes! Bs sounds more likely than instagrams for dogs!

Igotfiveonit · 08/04/2021 17:09

You owe your friend and us an apology when you come to your senses.

Pipe down OP.

UhtredRagnarson · 08/04/2021 17:10

😂😂😂😂😂

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 08/04/2021 17:11

You think she found out the name and did this to upset you EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE THE NAME 😂 Hilarious

Kimye4eva · 08/04/2021 17:13

Anyone else hoping the friend is on here and she divulges the name?!

MintLampShade · 08/04/2021 17:13

We have been friends for years and I can’t believe she would do this.

OP, she didn't do anything wrong and that's what you are struggling to understand. Would you have changed the name if she got upset and the shoes were on the other foot? I don't think so! And you don't even know if you actually will be able to use this name as you may have a baby boy 💙 But then what? No one is allowed to use "your" girl name until you have a baby girl? Now, do you see how unreasonable that sounds?

I get it, I really do! And I'm sympathetic. I was pissed too when Andy Murray decided to use my baby boy name a couple of months before I was due. Bloody all over the news, social media too 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

SweetAsANutt · 08/04/2021 17:14

OP you don't own the name Hmm.
Get over it.

SweetAsANutt · 08/04/2021 17:14

Pressed post too early.
No one knew the name... it's not like she knew then took the name.

Unless she's mystic Meg.

SugarCoatIt · 08/04/2021 17:15

I know you may be shocked at the responses OP but the overwhelming majority are telling you that YABU.

I can understand your upset when you had your heart set on this name, but the fact of the matter is, this is your issue, not your friends.

Nobody owns a name, and by sheer coincidence your friend has named her puppy the same name, you wouldn't put up with her telling you that you couldn't use the name and she probably reacted how she did because she was taken aback and didn't know how to handle the situation but what she definitely should not do is change the name of her puppy just because you said so.

I'm a bit taken aback that you don't even know if you are having a girl or not, you may never have a girl and your expectation of your friend is both unrealistic and unfair.

You could end up falling out with your friend and compromising your friendship because of this.

I actually think you owe your friend an apology, if anything, to clear the air else there is the potential that there will always be an awkwardness surrounding it all.

katy1213 · 08/04/2021 17:15

Barking mad.

RhubarbFairy · 08/04/2021 17:16

@Leprechaunsundays

Wow I have to say I’m shocked at all the responses telling me iabu but I will try to take it on board. I won’t message my friend again. I think I just thought she wouldn’t mind changing it
It's hard picking pet names too! Our second cat has a boy name as that's what we were told she was. 5 days after getting her I took her to the vet for her kitten check and was told that she's a girl.

11 years on she still has that boy name as it suits her and we couldn't find anything else.