Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

413 replies

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:04

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

OP posts:
thebillyotea · 08/04/2021 13:23

To all the rude posters accusing the OP of being a doormat.. back in real life, it's not that easy to throw people out of your house when they ignore your wishes! It take a certain kind of individual to put their foot down.

IdblowJonSnow · 08/04/2021 13:23

Who the fuck let's their kids eat anything on a white sofa? Nevermind chocolate?!

I dont agree it's too late. I'd explain you've tried to get it out but can't so can they pay for professional cleaning.

Absolute piss takers. They sound shameless though so I wouldnt necessarily expect them to agree.

CovidCorvid · 08/04/2021 13:23

They’re not showing much respect for you to have seen their kid do this and walk away. Did they not offer to pay? I’d be mortified if I was them.

In your position I’d happily fall out with them as they sound like twats. Send them the bill!

user64325 · 08/04/2021 13:26

OP my brother is a carpet and upholstery cleaner and he always recommends Dr Beckman's carpet cleaner in the absence of a professional clean, but is against anything else. I've used it on a sofa too and it worked a treat. Not sure about suede, but it sounds ruined anyway so worth a try?

I can't believe your friends let him eat chocolate on it. But agree with the others if you didn't step in at the time and insist he eat it in the kitchen then it's too late now.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/04/2021 13:26

How did the parents leave things with you? They must have seen the state of it.

Who the hell gives a young child an Easter egg to eat / melt all over their friend's sofa? That's such a strange, inconsiderate thing to do.

Maybe all their furniture is old and they allow it to be damaged further by their DCs but they must have some awareness that other people do not live like that and your furniture does not look like that.

You should have insisted on all food being eaten at the table. But they really upped the ante, moving from dry food to melting Easter egg.

I think you either write off the damage, if you can afford to, or say 'that chocolate isn't coming out of my couch or cushion, what do you want to do about it?'

The problem is that people so self-absorbed as to have allowed this to happen, won't compute that your furniture is nicer than theirs and that you'd like to keep it that way. They'll probably offer a completely half-arsed attempt at cleaning it themselves, or pointlessly low compensation (or maybe buy you a cheap cushion you don't like).

Allgreyeverything · 08/04/2021 13:27

I love suede but it’s such a problematic fabric, especially lighter colours and on everyday furniture like sofas... next time kids visit your house have a big and cheap throw ready to cover the sofa

midnightstar66 · 08/04/2021 13:27

To all the rude posters accusing the OP of being a doormat.. back in real life, it's not that easy to throw people out of your house when they ignore your wishes! It take a certain kind of individual to put their foot down.

Well yes but the throwing out wasn't really necessary- a simple 'please don't give him chocolate on the sofa, it's a nightmare to get marks out' in a lighthearted way would be far more appropriate and easier to do!

Providora · 08/04/2021 13:28

The OP never said her sofa is white!

This happens all the time on MN, a poster makes shit up in their reply and everyone runs with it.

user1471538283 · 08/04/2021 13:28

A neighbour's young child once pulled something off my car! I said it would need to be fixed and she would have to pay but she just laughed and mentioned something about "kids". I was furious and this was part of the reason I stopped speaking to her.

I would never let my child damage someone's else's things and if it happened I would offer to put it right. I would get it professionally cleaned and send them the bill.

PurpleMustang · 08/04/2021 13:29

I would contact him, tell him you have found the marks, that you ha e tried products but not worked and ask what they use in their house to clean up after the little shit. And lesson learned, your house your rules. That kid is going to be awful if parents don't actually start parenting soon

DarkMatterA2Z · 08/04/2021 13:29

@thebillyotea. I agree. It's not really the OP's fault. People without children sometimes don't realise (and people with older children sometimes forget) exactly how much mess small children can make in a short space of time. So just because you have easygoing or accommodating friends who say they don't mind doesn't mean you can just switch off as a parent.

user1494055864 · 08/04/2021 13:30

This is why I hate having people round! It is so awkward to stand up for yourself in your own home sometimes! I remember having a brand new living room carpet, and a visiting friend just casually got on the floor and changed her newborn baby's poo explosion nappy on it!! I quickly offered a changing mat, and she said, no its fine! Confused

fassbendersmistress · 08/04/2021 13:30

You should have been much firmer at the time and will have to let it go now, lesson learnt the hard way. It happened to me with felt tips on my new sofa. I really like the mum and kid so I have never mentioned it again - just lament the fact I should have been more alert and firmer at the time (every time I sit on the sofa).

snowcobra · 08/04/2021 13:30

I would be very irritated by that too, but it's a bit late to do anything now. Your friends sound quite rude to be honest, the least they could do was offer to pay for the cleaning

Thisgirlcando · 08/04/2021 13:31

It’s not abit late because it is still an issue!

WakeUpSchmakeUp · 08/04/2021 13:35

I’ve had similar stuff happen. On a play date with a mum & child I was getting to know (a potential friend, if you like) a child used his ice-cream lolly (they were eating in a specific area: a conservatory with hard floors & a leather sofa) as a paintbrush on every single window. Sort of ran around trailing it.

I didn’t say much at the time (and the damage wasn’t permanent) but I was so pissed off with her (she just sat & watched him do it) that I let the acquaintance fizzle out.

Thing is OP, don’t let anyone think that you’re so desperate for their friendship that your boundaries are non-existent. They were incredibly cheeky & rude.

You did them a favour by giving them somewhere to go during a house viewing. No one is too stupid to know you don’t bring a fucking big chocolate egg to someone else’s house & give it to a small??? child.

I just couldn’t be bothered with them after that.

fassbendersmistress · 08/04/2021 13:35

[quote DarkMatterA2Z]@thebillyotea. I agree. It's not really the OP's fault. People without children sometimes don't realise (and people with older children sometimes forget) exactly how much mess small children can make in a short space of time. So just because you have easygoing or accommodating friends who say they don't mind doesn't mean you can just switch off as a parent.[/quote]
It’s absolutely the fault of the parents who allowed their child to run loose with a chocolate egg in someone else’s home.

However, the time and place for OP to address it with the best possible outcome was at the time. Now that has passed, the stakes are higher...hence most people telling OP she has to accept it and move on (and retain a friendship she values more than a sofa).

KirstenBlest · 08/04/2021 13:35

How old is the child and does he have any conditions that may have affected what happened?

CoraPirbright · 08/04/2021 13:36

Did they even apologise OP?

BronwenFrideswide · 08/04/2021 13:37

Well yes but the throwing out wasn't really necessary- a simple 'please don't give him chocolate on the sofa, it's a nightmare to get marks out' in a lighthearted way would be far more appropriate and easier to do!

Far more appropriate and easier to have just insisted that NO food was to be eaten in the living room and not to have caved in when the child shouted at his father. Quite frankly they sound like pathetic parents if they let their chid shout at them and give in to the child's requests. They also don't sound like very good friends, they can't respect the OP's wishes for what happens in her house and they gave their child chocolate to eat on her couch after he had dropped food on the white rug, they knew what would happen with the chocolate and they didn't care.

OP tell them about the damage, how annoyed you are about it and ask them what they intend to do to correct it.

WakeUpSchmakeUp · 08/04/2021 13:38

You don’t have to use an angry voice. As someone said earlier, use a sing-songy voice and say “oh no no no, I’m afraid this isn’t a choccie-eating zone” or similar. But as I say, it wouldn’t happen to me again because they wouldn’t be coming back. Different values/manners.

HarrietSchulenberg · 08/04/2021 13:38

I can't believe people are blaming the OP! The child's father gave in to the boy's demands to eat on the couch despite being asked to eat in the dining area. They were guests and disregarded their host's wishes, which is rude, so they should pay for the cleaning, or at the very least pay half.

If they ever come over again, I'd ostentatiously cover my furniture with cheap, washable throws to make a beautifully PA point.

WakeUpSchmakeUp · 08/04/2021 13:40

@KirstenBlest

How old is the child and does he have any conditions that may have affected what happened?
No matter what the child’s state of being, it’s not his fault. It is his stupid ignorant parents for giving him chocolate in someone else’s house.
fruitbrewhaha · 08/04/2021 13:40

Just tell them.

Call them now and say "I've spent the morning trying to clean the chocolate your DS wiped on the sofa and it doesn't shift. What shall we do?"

SleepingStandingUp · 08/04/2021 13:41

If they've not mentioned it since, I don't think you can bill them without it affecting the friendship. I wouldn't be overly keen on them for not mentioning it. What did they say at the time?

Lesson in being firm.
Let's eat in the kitchen
I WANNNÀAAAA EAT THERE!!!
Aww ok little Timmy, your wishy is my commandy, let's go in the living room
No sorry Tom, we don't eat in there.
BUT I WANNNNNNAAAAAAAA
(Stand in front of door) Sorry no we don't eat on there
And repeat