Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

[CatherineJHealy]

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

Perhaps another friend could discreetly direct them to this MumsNet posting. After all your 'friends' showed no respect for your wishes nor for your sofa nor home. And although you don't want to fall out with them, they need to know. Otherwise it will just happen again and again -maybe in your home, or perhaps someone else's. If they are selling their home, they wouldn't mind a viewer dropping melted chocolate all over their carpet?. They should apologise and offer to pay for the sofa to be cleaned or upholstered. I am shocked too that any adult would give in to an argumentative spoilt child like that. Appalling disgusting behaviour (from the adult friends).

I don't think the Op allowed it to happen.the parents of what seems to be a spoilt little boy should have made the bit eat his lunch in the kitchen diner as their host requested and should not have produced an Easter egg!
If ring them up and ask if they have any ideas how to remove the chocolate stains from xyz fabric as you have tried but can't remove.hopefully they will offer to get cleaned.if not,I'd drop them or never invite them around again.
Sometimes natural cleaners work better than manufactured one's.

children are more important than white sofas

. This must be a wind-up!

Clearly my child is more important to me than a white sofa, hence I don't have a white sofa. If I did though, however important my child is to me, I'd still expect an age-appropriate level of respect to be shown to my belongings.

But my child is not more important to the OP than the OP's white sofa. Why should she prioritise my child? If one of them is being booted out the OP's door, it's not going to be her sofa.

Oh people and their precious white couches and white rugs make me laugh as can never ever have other people around

I had a houseful of kids every day all summer long for years, and nairy a mark on my white couch.

You get your sofa professionally cleaned and take the suede cushion to a dry cleaners. Don’t let the kid eat in your house again unless it’s dry food like plain crisps/popcorn/plain crackers. Nothing with butter on and no chocolate. You have to say no to friends

I do have white sofas! I've also decided to be relaxed about it, it's ikea and I brought a spare cover for it. There are marks on it but over all I prefer the white look... And I have chosen to be relaxed about it... But I've never been the type to stress about white school shirts sleeves getting grubby or keeping things utterly pristine..

As long as stuff has actually been washed... Obviously op hasn't done this because it's not her child.. I do find with dc however they do things quickly sometimes but no way should the child been given a choc egg anyway on sofa!!..

Op can you put throws over it?

Math..

I do feel with small child it's realistic to expect some drawing on walls, marks, etc... It's what children do.

Our house was painted ten years ago and has a few little scribbles here and there. I'm not bothered... And will get a re paint soon..

I would just say next time they come over "Well food is on the table.That is where we are eating!"

If you want to raise it just say when you see them "Lesson learnt eh. Can

I do feel with small child it's realistic to expect some drawing on walls, marks, etc... It's what children do.

Only if they think they can get away with it. It wouldn't have ever occurred to me to draw on walls when I was little, I knew it absolutely wasn't allowed.

@mathanxiety

But I just think children are more important than white sofas. White sofas are a fashion choice which will change in 10 years time. The fashion might be to live in a way that accommodates children better - in ten years time. I completely agree that her guests should have respected her furnishings. Completely. But what I’m against is - white sofas.

Children can be completely loved and valued and accommodated and also taught that there are places where they can play and make a mess and it's ok and places where they can't. They can also be taught that there are places where they can chat and laugh and yell and places where they can't. This can be accomplished with kindness, gentle reminders, and a loving demeanour on the part of the parent. Nobody has to shout or be harsh.

If you get them to understand the 'Yes here/now - No not here/now' thing early on, you'll be able to relax a bit when you're out, even with preschoolers.

It's not an insult to children to teach them to respect furniture, not to touch your makeup or jewellery, not to write on the walls, not to play ball/skate/ride bikes in the house, not to throw food, etc.

Absolutely particularly if you are a tight budget and cannot afford to replace things.

Accidents happen. But in this case, the child refused to eat at the table and insisted on sitting on this sofa, and his parents permitted it and gave him chocolate. I don't think it's the crime of the century; and I agree that children are more important than white sofas; but I don't think it will harm a child to learn that in another person's house you have to respect their rules and their property.

When Covid restrictions allow get a professional sofa/carpet cleaner in to clean the sofa. Or call an upholsterer and see what they can recommend.

I’d be calling the parents and saying you’d like a contribution to the cost.