Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

[CatherineJHealy]

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

CF's should have insisted their child moves from the living room after you asked them to eat in the kitchen/dining area.
The CF's weren't even hot on making sure the dc used the tissues properly.
They'd never be allowed in my home again.
I'd be meeting them at their home or in public if I was that friendly with them.

Your house your rules

This has happened to me before, my friend is a beautician, she cam3 round to do my nails bought her 8 year old son with her (he’s very spoilt/rude) he sat on the top/back cushions of my new light grey sofa and was told to get down. He asked for a drink and was told to sit nicely while he had it, after they left I found he had spilt coke all over my sofa and not said a word, it had dried and gone sticky, I managed to get the stain off but have not invited her round since.

I’d ask them to contribute to the cleaning bill. “Hey I’ve had to get the chocolate professionally cleaned out of my couch, do you mind chipping in?” Unless the cleaning bill was peanuts to me.

Yes you shouldn’t have allowed it but I doubt that was the first time the kid ever wiped his chocolatey hands down on furniture, the parents should have been a bit more thoughtful too and not given him a chocolate egg to eat on a white couch!

Are you not in the UK OP?

If you are, someone will be along to tell you this is what happens when you break the rules

Agree with PP - you allowed this to happen. You make yourself sound like some kind of doormat. Child says "I want to eat in lounge." You say no. Tragedy averted.

I absolutely would not approach the parents for payment of any kind.

How old is the child? From what you say, I imagine not much more than a baby. You say you didn't notice it happening so it probably was an accident, sticky hands etc. It's likely the parents didn't see it.

Cushion cover can go to the cleaners and there are ways of removing chocolate from upholstery, I've removed worse.

Having said all that, when you wanted them to eat in the kitchen they should have done so, picking up their child and taking him there or else saying there would be nothing to eat.
With very small children it's best to put a washable throw on furniture to avoid such happenings.

It's worth contacting your insurers and see what they say. A friend dropped lily pollen on a cream carpet and the insurance company paid for the stain to be professionally removed.

@BrumBoo

Could you get it professionally cleaned and send them the bill?

This is an excellent way not to fall out with friends. Not.

Not doing this would be very rude though.

I don't have a lot of money but in this situation I would offer to pay for an upholstery cleaner or to pay the excess on their home contents insurance. It is very irresponsible not to try to put things right.

@CatherineJHealy What did the parents say at the time??

I would say to them “I hadn’t realised Norbert had wiped his hands on the couch the other day when they were full of chocolate, I’ve had a go at getting it off but it’s not budging and the fibres are coming away - any tips?” That gives them the chance to offer to pay for it cleaning, if they don’t you can respond with “I’m going to have it professionally cleaned to see if it can be saved but I can’t afford it so a contribution would be appreciated”

Its not too late to call them out. Tell them firmly what happened and how they expect to pay you back.

I think it is too late now. Like others, I can't understand why you didn't over-rule the poor parenting and just say "Sorry, kid, in my house the rule is we eat at the kitchen table or we don't eat at all".

Which country are you in that people can come inside your house now ? I can't wait until we get there.

Every adult in this story is sounding more than a little bit wet quite frankly.

Since when do 3 adults just do whatever a toddler wants, leave aside all common sense and expect things to go well?

YABU to be annoyed; I’d never have allowed a small child of mine to eat chocolate on someone else’s white sofa.

However, I absolutely would have had no problem telling them to get off the sofa once the chocolate appeared. It would have been momentarily awkward but it’s better than fuming over the cost of cleaning. For future reference, it wouldn’t have needed to be a telling off, but a firm “oh if we/you are having chocolate, we absolutely need to be at the table for that” and get up, yourself, so the parents will need to follow. They clearly struggle with boundaries so someone needs to set them, and it is your house.

No idea how to address the cleaning of the sofa, though.

@BrumBoo

What do you expect the parents to do? It's your home, you should have been firm - either eat at the table or wait until you leave. Too late now and sadly nothing to be done about it.

I’d expect the parents to teach their child basic manners! I would never allow my daughter to eat like that in someone’s home I would be mortified.

This is why I only have dark furniture, and absolutely hate visiting other peoples houses.

Not the point of your thread but could you show us a photo of the offending area as we might be able to help with the stain issue. If not, describe colour and material and what you have put on it.

If they’re good friends they’d pay for the cleaning. WTF did they produce a bloody great chocolate egg to give their child, knowing they were messy and on a white sofa??

It sounds like you accepted the dry mess on the rug, but the sudden appearance of the chocolate caught you unawares.

They produced the chocolate, they know their child, they knew your sofa was white, they knew you were already anxious about mess. It’s their fault. They probably haven’t realised you can’t get the stain out. Tell them.

Your friends sound completely hopeless. Who watches their toddler destroy someone else's possessions and smear chocolate everywhere and does nothing about it? Also, why would someone take their child to play in a presumably child-free house with a white couch (first big no) and then give them a chocolate egg (just no, no, no, no, no!). They sound moronic, to be frank.

Do you have much experience with small children? If not, for future reference they are unreasonable, entitled dictators who wreak havoc and tantrum at the drop of a hat but that DOES NOT mean that the responsible adults around them have to give in to them to keep the peace. My DC at that age frequently wanted biscuits for dinner or to draw on the table, but that didn't mean it was allowed... it just meant I had to step over a screaming toddler tantruming on the floor when I put a stop to it. In your shoes, a firm "We don't eat in the living-room!" would have been fine and then it's for the parents to sort out their grumpy child and ensure they stick to your rules.

Your friend absolutely should have prevented this from happening - but so should you! It’s your own home, you should have stood firm on not eating outside of the kitchen.

I’d expect the parents to teach their child basic manners! I would never allow my daughter to eat like that in someone’s home I would be mortified.

The trouble is that many parents don't, and also believe that a child should never hear the word "no". This is why I avoid having people with young children visit my house.

Rather than trying to assign the blame I'll just suggest you buy one of these for your home then no matter if kids come round or you spill a glass of wine you will be able to clean it up! Use ours all the time...
www.bisselldirect.co.uk/products/spotclean-pet-pro?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvbWB2Mzu7wIVjbbtCh26NAtUEAQYASABEgK--vD_BwE

xTo late to do anything except of professional clean. Next time tell them food only at the table

agree about the professional clean, it's worth it if you want to salvage your couch.

I would NEVER invite these people around again. I am not precious, I have kids but that was beyond rude.

For future reference, a quick wipe with a dry tissue is never ever going to remove melted chocolate or anything sticky from a toddler’s hands. Soap, water, check from adult, hand towel.

My DH is fifty years old but still hasn’t worked out that a dry paper towel will not adequately clear up a kitchen spill of orange juice, honey, butter etc.

Honestly, I think it shows very little respect for you and your home from the parents. I have 2 small children and there is no way in hell I would let them eat chocolate (or any food for that matter) on someone else's sofa.