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Original poster

Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

413 replies

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:04

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

OP posts:
Hhusky · 08/04/2021 13:03

Your friends are being maybe not totally unreasonable but they're being totally shit friends. I was at a friend's house a while ago and completely by accident knocked a bottle of wine off the table which smashed and went everywhere and I can tell you now if it left a stain (thankfully it didn't) then I would absolutely have paid for it to be cleaned.
Your friends should have had better manners and not allowed their kids to do that.

PussGirl · 08/04/2021 13:04

I had an unbreakable rule that all food & drink had to be consumed sitting down (drinks) or at a table (food) when DS was small. Hands were wiped before he was allowed down.

This extended to friends' DCs too.

I didn't move ornaments or change anything regarding furnishings.

It is hard work patrolling small children, but it can be done.

ancientgran · 08/04/2021 13:04

@Whoopsies

Honestly, I think it shows very little respect for you and your home from the parents. I have 2 small children and there is no way in hell I would let them eat chocolate (or any food for that matter) on someone else's sofa.
Very true but I also wouldn't allow someone else's child, or my own for that matter, to make the rules.
ancientgran · 08/04/2021 13:05

Why don't you let them know you're booking a professional clean and how would they like to pay?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/04/2021 13:08

@PinkiOcelot

Wow I would be furious. How old is this kid that gets to demand where he sits to eat?!

I think you have to mention it. Could you get it professionally cleaned and send them the bill?

I agree with this - eat at the table or don't eat.

And as the parents saw the mess, and attempted to clean it (probably ingraining it) I would ask them to pay for cleaning (if it can be done, or new cushion covers (if it can't). You may not get a good response, but at least they won't walk all over you again.

And don't be such a wuss in future - if the parents don't discipline the child in your home - you do it! Just tell them what you will allow and what you won't.

Emeraldshamrock · 08/04/2021 13:09

The DC wouldn't have had any chocolate without sitting at the table if I'd a fabric couch and white rug.
It is done now - parent should pay for a professional clean.
In future use your words too.

MintLampShade · 08/04/2021 13:09

I'm genuinely struggling to picture this...Did the parents not offer to clean your sofa & cushions? Did they apologise for ruining your furniture or did they just leave without ever mentioning it? And how big is your living room that whilst sitting on your own couch, you didn't see that the child had carried on making a mess with chocolate fingers?

What do you want to happen now? If you literally only noticed this after they had left, I'd probably just take a picture and send it saying "hey friend, tried to clean the chocolate off sofa / cushion but not having much luck, do you have any tips?" And wait to see what they say...the penny may drop, or may not..but you can take it from there. And lesson learnt.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 08/04/2021 13:11

@BrumBoo

What do you expect the parents to do? It's your home, you should have been firm - either eat at the table or wait until you leave. Too late now and sadly nothing to be done about it.
Don't be so ridiculous the parents should be the ones being firm ffs. It's their child!
MimiPigeon · 08/04/2021 13:11

This was your mistake. When the child shouted he wanted to eat on the couch, you should have said sorry but no, in this house we eat at the table or not at all.

Lassy1945 · 08/04/2021 13:15

If you hadn’t been present - then you would be right to be cross

But you were there. In your home. And they were guests. It was your domain and responsibility to express what is and is not acceptable.
The child shouted that he wanted to eat on rug. So what. You should have said - “nope, not going to happen”

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 08/04/2021 13:15

Honestly can't believe how many people om this thread saying it's your fault and you allowed it to happen 🤨 you can see where so many kids get their entitled attitude and lack of respect from.

Wearywithteens · 08/04/2021 13:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

RedToothBrush · 08/04/2021 13:16
  1. Why were they inside???
  2. Why the hell do you have a white rug at all?
  3. Why on earth do you let any child near a white rug or a suede sofa?

Its like a perfect storm of stupidity.

ILoveFlumps · 08/04/2021 13:16

Urgh I feel for you OP.
In my house, food is only to be consumed at the dining table for this very reason. I do not allow eating in the living room or on the sofas so as to avoid this.
These parents aren't your friends as they allowed this to happen. You said to eat somewhere else and the child kicked off?! So the parent allows them to eat on your sofa. No way in hell would a decent parent and friend do this.
I'd tell them what's happened, and be clear that this is why you said to eat at the table. I'm not sure what else you can do about your sofa or cushion though, but if they're decent people they may offer solution.
Next time be firm. It's your house, your rules.

1forAll74 · 08/04/2021 13:16

The parents are at fault here, they must have weighed up what is likely to happen in this situation,, as in carpet, sofa,and child eating chocolate etc, and taken the child into the kitchen area..If in someone else's home,they should be more observant about these things.

readingismycardio · 08/04/2021 13:17

I think they're rude AF. Yeah, maybe you should've said something but I'd never let my kid eat chocolate on someone's sofa. The kid dropped something on your white carpet so they though they could give him some chocolate too? WTF? Just tell them politely, get your sofa cleaned and never invite them again!

willowmelangell · 08/04/2021 13:17

Can you send a shopping link for the parents to buy replacement cushions?

Mydogneedsabath · 08/04/2021 13:18

Your DH must be my DH younger brother 😂

DarkMatterA2Z · 08/04/2021 13:19

Amazed at people who think the OP is equally at fault with the parents. She should have been firmer but parents need to control their children. When I occasionally visited friends without children with my then very young toddler, they had no idea about the havoc or mess he could cause in their house. Hence light-coloured furnishings, breakables and electrics within reach and cups and crockery left close to the edge of surfaces. I just had to watch him. At 14 months, he was offered a biscuit and milk in a glass cup on a sofa. It was for me as the parent to say, "I think we'll sit in the buggy for this" and tip the milk into a covered plastic sippy cup to avoid any spills.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 08/04/2021 13:19

This is the price you pay for being a doormat. If you let people walk over you, they will.

MagicSummer · 08/04/2021 13:19

I would have been furious, OP. Why is a child dictating where he or she will eat food? This is why I hate it when my husband's grandchildren come round - they climb on the sofa with shoes on and generally make a mess - I daren't say anything because the kids can do no wrong!!

WeAllHaveWings · 08/04/2021 13:20

I didn’t see him do it, FYI.

Would have been too late after he had done it anyway. You knew it was likely to happen so should have spoken up to the friends as soon as their ds wanted to eat in your room and especially when they pulled out the egg!

Whether actively or not, you gave permission to eat in the room and in this case I think it is your loss. Next time speak up!

midnightstar66 · 08/04/2021 13:21

The parents are ultimately at fault yes but you also had a responsibility for your own home. 'Sorry we eat at the table in this house' would have been fine. Or seeing the initial meal wasn't a big problem, 'can you take him to the table to eat the chocolate please' to the adult. I'm baffled why you sat and watched him sick chocolate on your settee although I'm amass amazed the parents did not acknowledge the mess. Bit of a strange situation all round but as it doesn't seem to have been mentioned at all at the time it's probably a case of chalking this one to experience

Karwomannghia · 08/04/2021 13:22

So rude of them but I don’t think you can expect any money from them or anything unfortunately. In future, if a kid says they want to do something in your house and you don’t want them to, and their parents haven’t picked up on that and isn’t stepping up to put the boundaries in, you have to say it directly to them and the child is more likely to respond to what you say. Present things as a blanket rule in a friendly but firm way. Parents can be a bit vague or have given up on trying to keep their own sofas clean, but if you’re clear about your rules that can make it easier.