Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

[CatherineJHealy]

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

Most people don’t like others disciplining their kids so I get why you didn’t labour the point OP, it’s an awkward situation. Your friends are quite probably dicks.

My friend’s kid peed on our sofa and the parents were absolutely distraught! Desperately wanted to arrange and pay for dry cleaning etc.

So disrespectful of the parents

Why would you give a child chocolate in someone else's home and on a suede sofa bloody cheeky gits

I had a friend who was like this. Her kids were feral. They would ruin my house when they came over and my friend didn’t care. We are no longer friends. I saw it as rude and disrespectful. And for everyone saying you ‘allowed’ this to happen are talking nonsense. This was not your child to control.

Wow. I’m staggered at how many people think OP ‘allowed this to happen’! She did not allow this to happen at all and was simply not thinking about the possibility of a bad outcome more than being rude and offending her friends! OP, I’m mortified for you and would have had exactly the same outcome as I would not have chastised my friends’ children. I do question how respectful your friends were as I suspect you would not have allowed your children to do this (nor I). Not really sure what the solution is as they won’t pay your dry cleaning bill, but they’d probably not be invited around again. With or without DC.

Find out how much it would cost to fix, message them with the quote and let them know they should at least pay half since their kid ruined your sofa. If they were good friends they would stump up all of it but I agree with some people here you really need to be more firm. Maybe a lesson for next time x

Some parents absolutely don't seem to see or care what their children are doing. I experienced visits from friends with their children, who showed no respect for my home. My response was never to invite them round again, sad really. But I could take my children anywhere and know they wouldn't run riot, or they wouldn't be going again! Think you will have to treat this as a learning curve, and I wouldn't have them round again.
Not the child's fault, just entirely parents lack of control...😡

Did this even happen since op has not been back to the thread?!

It probably happened in the same universe as the eloping teenagers.

WTF

Probably there's little you can do now. In the future, I'd be firm about keeping to this rule, with all guests.

@TowandaForever

Did this even happen since op has not been back to the thread?!

I don't know why people read so much into this. Couldn't the OP just be busy with, y'know, real life??

Although sadly in this instance I think it's more likely she's been disillusioned by all the blamey 'it's-your-own-fault-kids-will-be-kids' responses.

You shouldn't have given in in the first place - if you didn't want food in that room you should have stuck to it. You could ask them to cover the excess on an insurance claim if you want the relationship to end but imo you're too late now.

Honestly I would be mortified if my child did that and would have said ‘if that needs to be professionally cleaned I’ll pay’

Exactly. tbh I'm staggered the friend didn't make this offer and apologise profusely, I would have!

When kids come to my house I say ‘In this house, we eat at the table’. Even / especially toddlers. They don’t get a choice. They’ll turn it on for parents but not others.
You have every right to be annoyed. I’m not one for confrontation so I’d probably not say anything but that’s just me.

thatsgotit You’re 100% right. Glad someone on this thread has some common sense. OP is probably entirely as disillusioned with mumsnet as I am for the judgemental opinions and lack of solidarity amongst fellow mothers. Every post on this website turns into a bitchfest and I’m saddened by the views of fellow mothers - all of whom can do better apparently and have the answer to everything. Few humble folk out there and too much vitriol and bile. Good night mumsnet. Over and out.

Wow I would find it hard to stay friends with such disrespectful people! Who does that?!

Honestly I just would have 100% forbidden food outside the kitchen with a young child & stainable furnishings

Horrified for you! I hope you can get it cleaned off. xxx

OP probably been scared off by folk seemingly blaming HER.. :-(
How DO you use emoticons on here, anyway? And why can't I 'like' others' posts?
OP, if you are reading, I've had some luck by using old towels rinsed in warm soapy water - not washing up liquid or anything, just normal handwash - and left on the stained item for at least a couple of hours. It seems to 'draw' the stain out. Works better for me than any of the branded stain stuff on the market. Obvs better to try a small corner first if worried..

Why does everyone think her couch was white? The rug was white. Also they were all in the sitting room? Sounds like they were all having the chats and they gave the kid chocolate to keep him busy so the chats could continue and a predictable accident occurred. Learn a lesson. Close the door. I have boys so have leather couches to allow daily cleaning of the absolute carnage, but I don't let kids go upstairs in my house or eat food on the stairs cream carpet and they try it every single time, like moths to a flame, but I mention the rule the second they go near it and I'll tell any child off for going against my rules on that right in front 9f the parents. Toughen up.

Also Dr Beckmann carpet stain remover is brilliant for cleaning food stains off fabric sofa's! And stairs carpets lol

Omg why is everyone asking what country she is in just Because she's allowed propel in to her house thus breaking uk covid rules. Seriously do you mners really believe anyone actually follows the rules??? Not a single person I know has followed it. All my neighbours have friends family over too. People has travelled half way across the country and spent almost a week in someone else's house. Only on mn do I read the obedient citizens of uk

I think some of the remarks on here are absolutely horrible. I feel so sorry for the OP. Some people - me included - would feel quite uncomfortable trying to deal with this situation. The OP is already upset and to get a crowd of people making such comments as she is a "wuss" and, she should have done this that or the other is not supportive or helpful at all.

I hope the friends were full of apologies - and they should have offered to pay for professional cleaning.