Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

[CatherineJHealy]

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

This is the only thread that @CatherineJHealy has ever commented on.

She hasn't posted since the first page.

She never said how old the child was.

What was OP meant to do you can’t scream like a banshee and fling the child and egg out of the door. (Which is what I would felt like doing!)
As pp have said, they’re not good friends. Surely there must be some way to clean your furniture, check out Mrs Hinch’s Facebook page.

It’s a fairly obvious attempt at getting MNers to froth with outrage at the usual touch points:

• rude, entitled parents
• rude, entitled kids
• wet lettuce home owner
• white sofa (as if anyone actually has one)
• trying to show up the ‘let the kids play’ posters versus the ‘seen and not heard’ brigade for lolz.

Charge them for the damage, they should know to control their child in your home, if it was a dog that ruined your furniture they'd expect to pay

People still use blu tac when white tac exists?

[quote Cogfarm]@BoomBoomsCousin - ‘bright’ ‘airy’ ‘relaxing’ - except when chocolate is involved!! All I’m saying is there is some sort of civilised, designer chic that we all strive for - but why??[/quote]
That's so sneery. As though the the OP's issue with her house being made a mess of is entirely down to a fickle desire to follow fashion and nothing to do with enjoying having a home that feels good to be in to her.

You realise trends aren't entirely about people being sold things they don't really want? Lots of trend come about because they meet people's needs or desires. Light colours make quite a lot of people feel like the space they are in is bigger and more relaxing and it doesn't take any kind of advanced study to realise why that might be something they would like if it was practical for them.

Of course, if your home is inhabited by people who don't want to take care not to smear food or mud or whatever around, your decision making might be different. But taking care and habits like only eating at the table work for a lot of people. I wouldn't consider a white sofa. I like eating in front of the TV from time to time, I'm not particularly careful with stuff, and I have kids whom I don't want to have to police to that extent. But I am capable of understanding that other people set up their homes to suit them not me. You should try it some time.

No I absolutely think it’s the fault of the parent who gave their child chocolate in the host’s living room.

Of course people can decorate their houses how they choose.

My point is - I’m hugely jealous of Grand Designs type minimal houses/white sofas and rugs - and sneery. I can spend a whole morning aspiring for a clutter free, perfect lounge only for the children to demolish it in seconds. So my justification for being untidy is that my children rule my lounge. Toys/mess everywhere and I don’t stress about it because I can see they are learning. The only thing they’d learn - if I had a minimalist/ white sofa lounge - is how to follow adult rules and be civilised.

I’d prefer my lounge to be like the windmill lounge in Baby Jake.

And I’m not sure that adult rules and ‘being civilised’ are THAT great - as us adults seem to be slowly destroying the world with our unnatural lifestyles and overconsumption. So for me childish wins over being adultish. Every time.

I'd be furious if lax parents let their kid ruin my furniture. They would not be invited back. i wouldn't let my child treat other peoples homes like that.

Mind you white anything wouldn't survive a day with my cats!!

Well if someone is so wet they'd say nothing and sit back and watch a child wreck their furniture under the benign eye of their feckless parents, they are hardly likely to have the cojones to ask for money from said feckless parents to replace a couch, are they?

Coinsider it the price of being spineless.

I'd be very upset and pissed off if that was my sofa....i think Op needs to have a chat with her friends and let them know whats happened...give them the opportunity to offer some cash towards cleaning...if they don't i'd never have them in my house again.

Cogfarm: I can spend a whole morning aspiring for a clutter free, perfect lounge only for the children to demolish it in seconds.

Well, yes, they tend to do that - to some extent. But part of parenting is teaching them how not to draw on the walls, not to spill their drink over everything most days as they are too careless, if they DO have the occasional accident then they must help to wipe it up. Not to eat wherever they want to. Not to smear chocolate fingers all over windows/TV screen because they like the pattern it makes (they can finger paint all they want on paper on a table that is either covered or you don't mind getting wrecked). To wash their hands when they are sticky so that they don't put dirty finger prints over the curtains.

Not to scratch a tool into a wooden table - teach them the appropriate thing to use the tool on. Not to tip everything out of every toybox and expect Mummy or Daddy to put it all away.

Honestly, how do you think nurseries manage if every kid "demolished" the place "in seconds"? My kids' nursery was fantastic - Montessori-based. But it was calm and ordered and all the kids knew that when the staff blew a whistle and called for "tidy up time!" at the end of the session that it was all hands on deck - including every child, not just the staff. You come across as if you and your children don't have regular tidy up sessions in your living space - that there is just clutter, mess and sticky marks everywhere, constantly.

Children are not little hurricanes. Blimey, did you realise that in some cultures they teach young children to actually clean their own school environment?

Do you have kids, Catherine? If you did you would have known to cover your sofas with something in advance. I'm not excusing the parents by the way and they should have picked him up and taken him to eat in the kitchen despite protests but they may not have noticed him messing up your furniture.

God I'd be mortified if I was the parent. I feel like I am hyper vigilant at other people's homes and if my child would have shouted at me to eat in someone else's living room when they'd suggested the kitchen/dining area I would have laughed and picked them up and put them where the host wanted us to eat (age dependent of course but from your description of the child sucking the Easter egg and wiping his hands on the sofa I don't imagine them to be older than a toddler).

I would maybe mention to the parents, 'oh my sofas ruined from child's sticky chocolate hands, have tried to get it out with no luck, pretty gutted' in the hopes they may offer to half in for cleaning services or something (I would do that if approached that way). If they don't offer then there's nothing you can do but either don't let them back in your house if they can't respect it or be more firm, although I know that's hard and is something I struggle with myself.

I don't even let my own DC eat on the sofa, so I think you ought to have been firm. A kid + food + sofa is always going to end in a ruined sofa. I'm pretty shocked that your friend let their kid ruin your sofa, but you did allow them to eat on it, knowing what would likely happen.

@ChristmasFluff

Well if someone is so wet they'd say nothing and sit back and watch a child wreck their furniture under the benign eye of their feckless parents, they are hardly likely to have the cojones to ask for money from said feckless parents to replace a couch, are they?

Coinsider it the price of being spineless.

Wow, you sound lovely. Glad you're not one of my friends.

@LalalalalalaLand123

I don't even let my own DC eat on the sofa, so I think you ought to have been firm. A kid + food + sofa is always going to end in a ruined sofa. I'm pretty shocked that your friend let their kid ruin your sofa, but you did allow them to eat on it, knowing what would likely happen.

Maybe OP thought her friends would do some actual parenting and control their child? Perish the thought eh...

Feel your pain OP. I remember this young dc and dm came over to play and he trampled in a flower bed, he was meant to be in the garden then snuck inside and trampled mud on my new lovely carpet. His dm just shrugged and wasn't fussed but I was so upset. I had a no shoe policy in house but he was too quick

I think I would have made your DFS ds sit at the table. I think it is shocking about the chocolate. Send them the cleaning bill

It’s up to the parents to make the children behave not the person whose house it is. And also respect others belongings

I get the children to sit on the floor if they are eating in the lounge but generally I do not let them eat on the sofa. I extend this to other people's kids. You have to apply tinkly laughter and say ' oh we don't eat in here'.

I'd hate this. But in this case I'd pay for the dry cleaners and simply wouldn't invite them again. Or if you're really close to the family I'd tell them about the cost of cleaning and that they would have to cover it next time

You say you didn't see him but the moment he started shouting and demanding to eat on the couch should have been the moment when you explained to him that in your house, you eat in the kitchen, otherwise he should wait till he gets home.