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Original poster

Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

413 replies

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:04

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

OP posts:
Countrygirl2021 · 08/04/2021 19:41

Who stiffs chocolate into a child at a friend's house on their furniture. In our house we only eat at tables and I wouldn't stand for children behaving like this. That said I have a friend with very feral children and I struggle when they are bouncing off my furniture and dropping things everywhere.

Thus is NOT a boast. We have a daily large and pretty country cottage, my friend is sad that she has a small semi that she doesn't like but can't afford to leave. I therefore try not to be look precious about my home in case it looks like I'm saying my house is too nice for the children to mess up.

ilikemethewayiam · 08/04/2021 19:44

I Don’t understand why you allowed it OP. Your house, your rules. I have never allowed anyone’s children to do that in my house. Anyone that knows me knows how house proud I am and knows better than to even think about it. No child has ever eaten anywhere but the table, left the table before wiping their hands, touched ornaments or gone into any room they shouldn’t. I’m willing to fall out with ‘friends’ who would allow their children to disrespect my property and therefore me like that. Too late now OP but be assertive next time.

Hugoslavia · 08/04/2021 19:45

Blimey, am I the only one who thinks that the OP is getting a hard time here. It's awkward telling other children not to do something in front of their own parents, especially when you have already told them not to do something once. I date say that, had the parents not been there, the OP would have had no problem enforcing rules. The parents were awful to show such little respect for someone else's possessions. If you can't bring yourself to mention it to them, I would certainly not have them around again. And I would either buy some cheap throws to out over your sofa before others visit or be firm.

ginghamstarfish · 08/04/2021 19:45

Good grief, that child will be a nightmare when he grows up if the parents are not capable of setting the most basic rules. Yes, a bit late now as you didn't say anything at the time, but not sure I'd want that child (or the parents in fact) back in my house. Why can't parents realise they are NOT doing their kid any favours by allowing them to dictate the rules?

bedtimeshoes · 08/04/2021 19:47

That would be the end of the world in my home. Take control next time and insist food is eaten at the table and child washes hands straight afterwards.
I'm sorry about your cushions, I would be so annoyed too.

Bluetable · 08/04/2021 19:49

Cannot believe some people are blaming the OP! Who would let their kids eat chocolate on another person's sofa if it wasn't wipeable! You would have to be totally inconsiderate and stupid.

Boboparadise · 08/04/2021 19:52

I'd not be asking my friend again with the child in tow. Awkward I know but I would Be furious. I expect visitors to respect my home(without being asked) or not be asked back.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/04/2021 19:53

I am pretty sure @Cogfarm is that parents.

Or on drugs

thatsgotit · 08/04/2021 19:54

Why can't parents realise they are NOT doing their kid any favours by allowing them to dictate the rules?

Amen!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/04/2021 20:00

So you sat and watched him ruin you couch confused I dont understand why you let this happen.

This is the only response to this, OP. It doesn't matter whether you SAW him wipe his hands on the couch. You knew that his parents presented him with an Easter egg on a suede couch and that can only end badly UNLESS you ask him to eat it either on the floor if you have wooden floors or in the kitchen. Nowhere carpeted and certainly not on any couch.

We had leather couches when mine were toddlers, because things like suede are just not practical with little ones. Our current ones are a dark material. I would STILL ask a visitor with little ones to eat chocolate well away from it.

I do have some sympathy as we used to have dining chairs covered in a pale material. We bought them pre-kids and when they were toddlers we covered them with plastic, but when they got to around age 6 we considered them old enough to be careful or at least tell us if they dropped something that might stain. I could not believe it when a school friend came for tea and proceeded to wipe his tomatoey fingers all over the chairs. What was more annoying was that I'd provided paper towels and put a piece right next to their plates just for hand-wiping purposes!

Some kids are just brought up badly.

Notnownotneverever · 08/04/2021 20:04

Ah this is a tricky one. Ultimately I think unless you really spoke up at the time and said, no sorry, I don't want food/chocolate eaten on the sofa. then I think you are being a little unreasonable.
Very unreasonable of your friends to leave and not offer to pay to have the sofa cleaned.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/04/2021 20:10

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion *Honestly can't believe how many people om this thread saying it's your fault and you allowed it to happen 🤨 you can see where so many kids get their entitled attitude and lack of respect from."

Thread has probably moved on from where I've read up to, but you've missed the point completely. Bratty entitled kids ONLY come from wet, terrible parents. If the parents weren't up to scratch you don't stand by and let their awful parenting ruin your house!! You do exactly as everyone else said should have happened and tell the child that they will have to eat the egg in the kitchen, and then I would wipe their hands myself afterwards.

The fact that OP as well as the parents did not say anything and let it happen just made that kid even MORE entitled and bad-mannered.

Dutypaid · 08/04/2021 20:12

This is not your fault. The child is the parents responsibility. I bet if you were firm with someone else's child then everyone would tell you that you can't do that. I wouldn't have them over again. They are not good friends if they didn't care about their child damaging your possessions. You could try a professional clean of the sofa. How long have you had it? Tbh I would be so annoyed by the stains that I would buy a new one.

thatsgotit · 08/04/2021 20:13

[quote Cogfarm]@BrumBoo what’s more important - to be mindful and respectful to a child’s environment - or to be mindful and respectful to an adult’s environment?[/quote]
@Cogfarm can you elaborate?

tiredmum2468 · 08/04/2021 20:14

Why on earth did you agree to them eating in the living room anyway????

That would never happen in my house for starters but wattsapp photos over and tell them you need them replacing I would

lockeddownandcrazy · 08/04/2021 20:15

So you had visitors inside (which is maybe not great at the moment) and you didnt lay down your house rules 'We eat in the kitchen' - your own fault really

thatsgotit · 08/04/2021 20:23

@lockeddownandcrazy

So you had visitors inside (which is maybe not great at the moment) and you didnt lay down your house rules 'We eat in the kitchen' - your own fault really
So, in no way the fault of the kid's parents for producing chocolate then completely failing to ensure it didn't get smeared around the OP's home? !
Namechange1991x · 08/04/2021 20:24

Stop blaming the OP! Typical Mumsnet...

The parents were the ones who should have stopped this. It's common courtesy.

Namechange1991x · 08/04/2021 20:25

@lockeddownandcrazy

So you had visitors inside (which is maybe not great at the moment) and you didnt lay down your house rules 'We eat in the kitchen' - your own fault really
Are you serious?🙄
LittleGwyneth · 08/04/2021 20:38

Surely they need to pay for cleaning/ replacement?!

StoneofDestiny · 08/04/2021 20:40

Both will need professional cleaning - just decide if you want them to pay for it.

Got to be your house, your rules. You should have made them eat at the table. People who don't want to follow your rules, should not visit. (Same with shoes off - sorry 😂). In the end the house owner ends up cleaning the mess.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 08/04/2021 20:42

"My DD loves drawing and has displayed all her pictures (with blue tac!!) above the sofa. But this is really meaningful for her - and to me, this is more important than a spotless lounge wall."

You do realise that nearly all parents display their children's art work somewhere? It's usually in the kitchen or dining room, not the main living room. Children do have to learn that while what they produce is very important, they do NOT have the right to dictate where it goes. That is the adults' choice. It's entirely up to you if you want to have your child's art work displayed in every room, @Cogfarm. I just find it weird that in your next post you then say that you're jealous and need to justify your living room!

As for asking what a pale coloured suede sofa "is FOR", words fail me. If you can't imagine that an adult may like a living room that they can enjoy and relax in when their children aren't around in the evening then you are no doubt one of THOSE parents like in the OP who lets their child get away with awful behaviour in others' houses and consequently grow up very entitled and bad-mannered.

Andylion · 08/04/2021 20:43

Send the bill to Cogfarm.

QueenArseClangers · 08/04/2021 20:59

Is anyone else worrying that @Cogfarm is one of their social circle?

Listen love, I’ve brought up FIVE children and am as child led/AP/crunchy as fuck but would NEVER disrespect someone else’s home or let them treat our family property like shit.
My DC have had plenty of pillow fights and built more dens than you’ve had hot dinners but they’d never cause a mess like this on purpose.

StoneofDestiny · 08/04/2021 21:03

My DD loves drawing and has displayed all her pictures (with blue tac!!) above the sofa. But this is really meaningful for her - and to me, this is more important than a spotless lounge wall

Many others display their kids drawings in the kitchen just as meaningfully. I'd prefer one adult space that looked adult, displaying professional art work I'd hope my kids could appreciate was appropriate to the space.

As for having a white settee - why not? her house, her decor.
I'd have not let my child or anybody else's eat on my settee and it's not even white. Kitchen is for eating - parents are idiots for not stopping their child doing that.

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