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Original poster

Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

413 replies

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:04

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

OP posts:
Serrina · 09/04/2021 17:27

Test

Serrina · 09/04/2021 17:28

You say you didn't see him but the moment he started shouting and demanding to eat on the couch should have been the moment when you explained to him that in your house you eat in the kitchen, no ifs or buts. If he doesn't want to do that then he should wait until he gets home.

paws17 · 09/04/2021 17:29

I'm sure I read something about there being a global pandemic on at the moment - which had resulted in indoor gatherings of people from different households in the UK to be outlawed...Confused

tommyhoundmum · 09/04/2021 17:29

Are you sure your friends arn't a bit jealous of you and your home?

A friend's child broke an antique vase in my home. When I mildly pointed it out to the mother she almost bit my head off to put her child in teh right. Similarly when her dog pooed inside my gate on the mat. People are strange.

midnightstar66 · 09/04/2021 17:36

Took a while this time for the covid police to arrive 🚨

Alis25 · 09/04/2021 17:38

As mother of three I’d be furious if parents allowed their children to do this. But you have to take responsibility for your own boundaries. No way would I have allowed food to be eaten in an area that couldn’t be fully restored later if smeared with food because I’ve learnt the hard way that kids can’t be trusted. I’d bite my tongue but insist on their compliance with your house rules next time. Sorry though. I can well understand why you’re angry about this.

user1493379562 · 09/04/2021 17:44

May I suggest Dyson this spray.
www.beaconelectrical.co.uk/vacuum-parts-accessories/dyson-dyzolv-dyzolv-spot-cleaning-spray/

Also available on Amazon at twice the price!

You could try an area in an inconspicuous area. If it doesn't work I fear it will have to be cleaned professionally.

Will the sofa be insured by your home contents insurance policy?

cherish123 · 09/04/2021 17:46

I am afraid this is bad parenting. OP is not at fault. She said to eat in the kitchen and his/her polite request was ignored. It's classic modern parents- don't want to upset their child. They should have taken the child through to the kitchen.

Can you wash the sofa? You may have to chuck the cushion and learn from the experience. Next time kids are round have a throw or picnic rug or stay in the kitchen.

Myfriendsays · 09/04/2021 17:47

Your house, your rules. I am afraid you didnt have any rules.

MerlinTheWizard · 09/04/2021 17:49

I would have been really annoyed at this. Can’t believe how some parents think it’s ok to behave like this at other peoples houses. I wouldn’t be inviting them back or if so, they’d remain in the garden.

What did the parents say though out of interest? Did they apologise?

Scotland32 · 09/04/2021 17:51

I have kids of my own and would be fuming if they did this in another house (although I wouldn’t let it happen in the first place) and also fuming if another child did it in my house.
I do think you should have spoken up at the time though “sorry X but in this house we only eat food sitting at the table/in the kitchen” so it may now be too late. Your call though. Not sure what I’d do.

pepsicolagirl · 09/04/2021 17:51

why were they in your house? shoulda followed the rules!

paws17 · 09/04/2021 17:55

@midnightstar66

Took a while this time for the covid police to arrive 🚨
Astra Zeneca need to add "Indelible stains on soft furnishings" as a "Very Likely Side Effect" of failure to adhere to the Covid-19 regulations...
MerlinTheWizard · 09/04/2021 17:56

@MerlinTheWizard

I would have been really annoyed at this. Can’t believe how some parents think it’s ok to behave like this at other peoples houses. I wouldn’t be inviting them back or if so, they’d remain in the garden.

What did the parents say though out of interest? Did they apologise?

Also in future, you should make sure you cover the sofa with blankets etc when said guests come round. I do that with my own kids. I would have replaced the white rug too with another one that I wouldn’t mind if damaged. But tbh just never let them in that room again. I would also let friend know if you only noticed how bad stains were after they left. They would have seen them though so why didn’t they say something then if such good friends?
Ddot · 09/04/2021 17:59

Your friends have been very disrespectful of your home. Don't try to clean, get someone in to sort for you. You must tell them you cant get the stain out and hopefully your so called friend will foot the bill. If like I expect that wont happen, next time say if you dont sit in the kitchen to eat you dont eat. If still don't listen then tell them in no certain terms that any damage must be paid for. Friends should respect your wishes or f* off

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 09/04/2021 18:10

Isn’t there a national lockdown on...should you even be having friends round?

However. You should ask your friends to pay for it to be professionally cleaned or replaced. You should have insisted that nothing be eaten in your lounge. Have a backbone - it’s your home! Nonetheless...the right thing for them to do would be to cough up the cash!

Cutesbabasmummy · 09/04/2021 18:13
  1. Of yiu are on the UK they should not have been in your house ( as previous posters have said)
  2. You should have made it clear that eating happens at the table
  3. Phone them for a chat and say btw I got a quote to get the couch cleaned as your child got choc on it and it's x amount - is that ok?
Lucyk1 · 09/04/2021 18:17

They arnt real friends. My parents would have gone off their head at me for doing that to someone's couch, but then I'm an 80s kid... Those were the days parents actually told their kids off and paid for damages.

bellocchild · 09/04/2021 18:28

At least tell them how much it will cost to clean the sofa and whether or not it did or will work. Otherwise they will never realise that they need to deal with him firmly.

Easilyannoyed · 09/04/2021 18:29

I'm astounded that the parents were not mortified that their child had done this and not offered to have it cleaned etc. Yes, you perhaps should have been more firm, but in these situations it is hard to not come across as rude and you were obviously relying on the parents to be proper parents. THEIR behaviour was disgraceful. However, not much you can do about it now. Asking them to pay for cleaning will just cause tension between you. But next time they are over I would look for an opportunity to make sure they see it and are left to feel suitably ashamed of themselves.

mumsterplus1 · 09/04/2021 18:34

I’m guessing you don’t have young kids? If so would maybe not have let them eat on a sofa with suede cushions ( disaster waiting to happen. I only let kids eat at kitchen table ( wipe clean melamine IKEA job) with vinyl flooring underneath- wipe clean. Basically take the stress out by knowing can’t do any major damage that can’t be cleaned up. But am surprised parents of said child didn’t suggest maybe not a good idea?

Whatamess582 · 09/04/2021 18:35

I’m horrified by how many people on here think that it’s ok to just leave it just because you didn’t say anything at the time. It’s crap parenting on their part. Just phone or text your friend and tell them that you can’t get the stains out and you need it professionally cleaned. Can she contribute please.

Honestly I would be mortified if my child did that and would have said ‘if that needs to be professionally cleaned I’ll pay’

But then I would never have let my child eat chocolate near anyone’s couch... even mine!!!

Gilld69 · 09/04/2021 18:38

just get it ptoffesionally cleaned, lesson learnt for next time they visit

Skysblue · 09/04/2021 18:40

Sorry about your couch 😣

Too late now to do anything. Zero point raising it with parents.

The way to avoid this was to say firmly and clearly as soon as food was mentioned / produced “In this house we only eat in the [kitchen].” I don’t let any food go in any other rooms unless is just me and DH. Sometimes guests think I’m a bit uptight... But I still have a nice couch 😬

As soon as the child was allowed to eat near the suede cushions / fabric sofa, they were doomed. The parents should really have prevented it, but often parents get used to their stuff being trashed and think it’s’just one of those things’ which it really doesn’t have to be.

Frazzledstar1 · 09/04/2021 18:47

My attitude is when you’re in someone else’s house you abide by their rules - so if a friend says no food in the living room, then the kids don’t get food in the living room. Your friends should have respected your rules. However, as others have said, you didn’t enforce your own rule and insist, so although I don’t blame you for being annoyed, I don’t think there’s much you can do. Although I’d certainly be offering to pay for cleaning if my DCs ruined a friends furniture.