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Original poster

To only work 4 days a week

266 replies

RootBeerFloat43 · 08/04/2021 08:13

Just interested in people's opinions of this as my partner and I have disagreed. I have a job offer where I can work either 4 days or 5 days a week. Our son is in school so, the day off would just be giving me a break and a bit of time to myself. My partner doesn't really understand why I need the time off and I do see his point as he works full-time. After mat leave, I went back to work 4 days a week but this was so I could have my son at home with me instead of nursery. Now that he is in school, is it just expected that I work full-time?

Not yet decided what I will do but would be interesting to hear other people's thoughts on this. Just to be clear, we both have professional roles and make good money so we would not struggle financially with part-time working.

OP posts:
daffodilsandprimroses · 08/04/2021 08:14

It’s totally understandable to want a bit of time to yourself! How old is ds?

babypinkelephant · 08/04/2021 08:15

If you can survive financially on four do it as time is more precious than money. If you need that extra day to yourself to get things sorted so on the weekend you are better present for your family do it.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 08/04/2021 08:17

I totally get your partners viewpoint - if he works five days a week, when does he get a break and a day to himself?

Can you afford to be working part-time hours? What would happen if your partner wanted to go part-time too?

BreakfastOfWaffles · 08/04/2021 08:17

I have worked a four day week for years now. My children are in secondary school now. Having that day for personal admin and domestic stuff means weekends are clear for family time, ferrying the children round to activities etc. I highly recommend it.

burritofan · 08/04/2021 08:18

Unless it’s going to drastically affect family finances, it’s none of your partner’s business. It’ll affect your pension, not his. I suppose if you pool family money and have the same amount of “fun” money, he’ll be affected by having less fun money and fewer days off. But I can’t imagine begrudging my partner this and DP doesn’t begrudge me my new 4-day week job, even though I’m bringing in less. He’s just looking for similar himself!

altlife · 08/04/2021 08:19

My DS is in school. I used to work 3 days (which was all that was on offer when I took the job) then got opportunity to increase to 4, which I took for the money.

Numerous opportunities since to increase to 5 days but have always gone against. I like working only 4 and having a day in the week for me. I do the school run, sometimes I cook and clean, sometimes I spend the day on the sofa! But it's my day.

DH works 5 days. If he has any issue with it he has never said Grin

mayneedabiscuit · 08/04/2021 08:19

If money isn't a problem surely it's better to work less so you have a better work life balance.
Can your husband do the same?
Although it's not a competition.
If ds is sick some days, has doc app, play, half terms etc - would your work be flexible on the day off?

itispersonal · 08/04/2021 08:19

I'd do 4 days rather than 5. A day off in the week is good for appointments, inset days, school assemblies, child being ill, school holidays, also meeting up with friends.

I work 4 days a week and as well as the benefits above; I try and get most of the housework done so the weekends are family/ relaxing time.

piglet81 · 08/04/2021 08:19

Definitely recommend. I work 4 days and have a child at primary school. In normal times it’s great having a chance to fit in jobs/appointments on a weekday, and also have a few hours to myself with a cup of coffee! In pandemic times I’ve been using that day to catch up on work that doesn’t get done on other days due to lack of after school childcare...

LooseThreads · 08/04/2021 08:20

I don't think it's reasonable for you want to have a day off every week for yourself and your partner isn't supportive of it to do it anyway.

Most people with a family would do house related jobs on the week day off so that the weekends would be better for the whole family.

triceratopsmama · 08/04/2021 08:21

I don't think that it's unreasonable for you to work 4 days if you can afford it.
I've only worked 3 days a week since I had ds. He is 5 and starting school in September. I won't be increasing my hours because I'll be doing all the dropping and collecting and working my hours around Dh's hours and school.
I do all the juggling. I do all the household admin and the majority of the cleaning etc

Dh pays most of the bills and does all the outside maintenance(we have a very big site) so it's all balanced out. He thinks it's great that I'll have a little time to myself from September. Works for us.

ElderMillennial · 08/04/2021 08:21

I totally get your partners viewpoint - if he works five days a week, when does he get a break and a day to himself?

I think this but presumably he could do four days as well if he wanted?

I don't agree with PP who says it's none of his business as it will affect the family finances.

Sciurus83 · 08/04/2021 08:21

4 days! If it doesn't affect you financially go for it. I work 4 days at the moment, like you did so I have a day with DD so not in nursery and I'm dreading ever having to go back to 5! My tip is have Monday off, many people take Friday but nooooo, Monday then there's no Sunday night feeling

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 08/04/2021 08:21

If you don’t mind him working part time, you can still meet your half share of the bills and it won’t affect your career or promotion prospects then it would seem fine to do.

If he wouldn’t be able to get a full day off to himself or would be picking up more than half of the bills to accommodate you working less then I can see why he wouldn’t be in agreement.

Ilovelove · 08/04/2021 08:22

4 days - give yourself one full day to do washing, watch a programme, go to exercise. You give yourself time to breathe and have some choice in your week.

To not have to rush everything into the weekend is worth it.

violetbunny · 08/04/2021 08:23

Would you be better off financially to outsource more things so you can both have more time to yourselves? Get a a cleaner or housekeeper, shop online etc? It will cost you, but maybe not as much as dropping a day a week of work?

LoisLanyard · 08/04/2021 08:23

Your partner can request flexible working, or a 4 day week, so it isnt something he couldn't have. I work 4 days a week, and have done for years. Like others have said, it lets me sort out housework, admin etc etc so that weekends are free to spend as a family. I wouldn't want to work 5 days a week now! I'm in a senior management position too, so financially it would make sense to employ someone to do all the housework but I enjoy it, and I get to see my kids off to school and when they get home so for me it is worth it.

modgepodge · 08/04/2021 08:23

I can see both sides. If my partner informed me he was going part time as he wanted a day a week to himself I would definitely think ‘where’s my day to myself?!’

sunflowersandbuttercups · 08/04/2021 08:23

I think this but presumably he could do four days as well if he wanted?

They may not be able to afford them both dropping to part-time in the long-run, though.

It's not just about take-home pay - what about pensions and long-term savings, or getting a mortgage etc. in the future.

I'm not remotely against part-time work by the way as I do it myself but for MH reasons as opposed to just wanting a day off,

Undervaluedandsad · 08/04/2021 08:24

It makes a big difference in terms of flexibility for family life - someone to deal with household admin, a day where your child can come straight home from school, a day where you can do things you need to do - hairdressers etc. If you can afford it, do it. Just one slight note of caution, do consider impact on your pension.

Weenurse · 08/04/2021 08:24

I did the 4 days and used the fifth one for cleaning, cooking, household management so that we could have the weekends free of that stuff.
Talk to your partner about his preference, would he like to share house work and household management or have you do it all on a day off.
It also meant any tradesmen could come on my day off to fix things, deliver stuff etc.

dun1urkin · 08/04/2021 08:24

I reduced my hours at work to have more time for myself and loafing about. It’s great.
I have maintained my share of contribution to the joint household expenses at the same level as if I was full time, because I didn’t think it was fair to either reduce our household ‘pot’, or to ask DH to increase his contribution

Elieza · 08/04/2021 08:24

Your husband is just jealous because you won’t be ‘working as hard’ as him. He’s at the grind five days and you’ll only work four, it’s not fair....

It does make a massive difference to the salary though. One fifth doesn’t sound much...until you see your pay packet!

Would he expect you do do the wife work/housework etc on your day off?

How do you split the household money? If you both pay in x amount to the joint bills account and the rest is your own that would work out ok.

If not, if you don’t do anything on your day off he might feel it’s only fair that you don’t have access to the full household pot. Many would think that’s fair. Unless of course you are doing wife work all day or already take the lions share of childcare of an evening and at weekends. In which case I’d be reassigning some of that to him because too many partners seem to think that just because the are home of an evening from their Very Important Job that they can now do nothing. If he’s one of them I’d be wanting him to be made aware of that!

Or see if he can go part time too and you can both have a better work life balance. Everyone has the right to ask when they have caring responsibilities/kids but I think a lot of male dominated jobs are still defaulting to a ‘ha ha, no’ answer.

wendz86 · 08/04/2021 08:24

I still work 4 days despite mine both being in school. It gives me a day to get things sorted in house and do things for me like gym classes/hairdressers etc. It makes me feel like i have a more balanced life. Also means less childcare needed in school holidays.

angelopal · 08/04/2021 08:24

Do you use wrap around care? I only work 4 days and keep planning to when youngest starts school. They will be in breakfast club and after school club and I like being able to do school run one day a week.

Will also give me time to get cleaning etc done so not spending time at the weekend doing it.

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