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Original poster

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2021 11:40

Two things to take from this.

  1. Lots of people don't like their partners.
1a. Don't trust them to fuck anything fuckable the minute their backs are turned. Don't trust them to not get out of their heads and wreck the house. Don't trust them to not immediately download a load of porn the minute their friends are round and have a wank party. 1b. Don't care enough about them to think hey it'll be nice for you to see your mates, it's been a hard year all round. Let your hair down and have fun and I care about you enough to put myself at slight inconvenience for you to do so and know you'd reciprocate.
  1. People are really needy with no imagination. What would anyone possibily do if they were alone for a night.
A. Go out for dinner. Have a drink. Find a place of interest you've never been to. B. Chill, spread eagled on the bed, with a bottle of something fun C. Watch telly, read, listen to a podcast D. Masterbate E. Anything you god damn want because you're an adult capable of being alone. F. Do none of the complainers ever go on holiday alone??
Strugglingtodomybest · 10/04/2021 11:42

I mean what are you going to do on your own in a hotel?

Confused

Hire a gigolo and snort cocaine obviously... der!

Ninkanink · 10/04/2021 11:42

@SchrodingersImmigrant

As others are surprised at number of women not trusting their partners being alone.

I am surprised at number of women mentioning the mess. Imagine having so low standards you pick a men who can't put rubbish in a bin and wipe the surfaces... It wxplains a lot about this site tbh

Yes.

Quite thoroughly depressing.

Ninkanink · 10/04/2021 11:43

@SleepingStandingUp

Two things to take from this.
  1. Lots of people don't like their partners.
1a. Don't trust them to fuck anything fuckable the minute their backs are turned. Don't trust them to not get out of their heads and wreck the house. Don't trust them to not immediately download a load of porn the minute their friends are round and have a wank party. 1b. Don't care enough about them to think hey it'll be nice for you to see your mates, it's been a hard year all round. Let your hair down and have fun and I care about you enough to put myself at slight inconvenience for you to do so and know you'd reciprocate.
  1. People are really needy with no imagination. What would anyone possibily do if they were alone for a night.
A. Go out for dinner. Have a drink. Find a place of interest you've never been to. B. Chill, spread eagled on the bed, with a bottle of something fun C. Watch telly, read, listen to a podcast D. Masterbate E. Anything you god damn want because you're an adult capable of being alone. F. Do none of the complainers ever go on holiday alone??
Again, yes.
SecretSpAD · 10/04/2021 11:48

I'd jump at the chance for some solitude and peace. So would my husband.
We have both done this and we both will again when allowed and, this will blow some minds, but sometimes we have friends of the opposite sex in our parties!
I know exactly what my husband and his friends do when they have their get together and it involves D&D and other role playing games that involve dressing up, bad acting and incredibly expensive red wine and Indian takeaways. Along with intense discussions about characters, plots, planning other games.....god im bored just typing it. Our son actually went to one but ended up decamping to my dads as it was so dull and a weekend of cooking and dads army was actually the better option!

When I have my friends around we spend the time cooking, eating, talking about food, drinking expensive wine, talking about expensive wine......in my husbands eyes, equally boring so he checks out.

SecretSpAD · 10/04/2021 11:50

I'm the one more likely to leave the house in a mess by the way. My husband is a clean freak. I do feel sorry for some of the male partners of women on here as they seem to be treated like children and their actions controlled.

GoodbyeH · 10/04/2021 12:05

We all know that when men get together with no wives in sight they instantly get their dicks out and cum all of the soft furnishings while the sex worker makes her way around the men!

Christ it's like saying when women are alone they have pillow fights in their underwear and then paint each others nails whilst listening to Beyonce and sing in solidarity about how we run the fucking world through our Vaginas 😂

Sounds like a good plan OP. DH and I would both be sound with it.

Chanjer · 10/04/2021 12:08

Let me get this right.

No

Chanjer · 10/04/2021 12:09

Absolutely masterful OP though, hats off Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2021 12:09

We all know that when men get together with no wives in sight they instantly get their dicks out and cum all of the soft furnishings while the sex worker makes her way around the men Jesus I was gonna at least buy them a packet of biscuits

BraveGoldie · 10/04/2021 12:16

I'm still confused....

Is it that: wife wants a pack of her female friends to have run if the house without husband dulling the party, so is offering to fund husband weekend away?

Or, similarly. Husband wants all guys time at the house and us offering for wife to be elsewhere.

I'd have no problem with either!

If on the other hand, either spouse wants party with all of opposite sex to them while sending other spouse away..... perhaps not! 😂

CustardySergeant · 10/04/2021 12:19

Why are you still confused BraveGoldie when the OP has explained the situation in her second post?

SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2021 12:22

Is it that: wife wants a pack of her female friends to have run if the house without husband dulling the party, so is offering to fund husband weekend away?

Yes

Mummyyyyyyyyyy · 10/04/2021 12:25

@GoodbyeH

We all know that when men get together with no wives in sight they instantly get their dicks out and cum all of the soft furnishings while the sex worker makes her way around the men!

Christ it's like saying when women are alone they have pillow fights in their underwear and then paint each others nails whilst listening to Beyonce and sing in solidarity about how we run the fucking world through our Vaginas 😂

Sounds like a good plan OP. DH and I would both be sound with it.

Oh this gave me the best laugh yet!

🤣🤣🤣

BraveGoldie · 10/04/2021 12:28

@CustardySergeant

Why are you still confused BraveGoldie when the OP has explained the situation in her second post?
Well maybe I am just being slow.... but I think OP is still a little unclear.

OP has only used OH and not told us their own gender....

So it's not clear if the person inviting is a man or woman...., or if the partner is same sec or other sex..... ?

OP also hasn't told us whether the OP is the inviter or the OH.....

Eg, OP says: It’s inviting a group of women over for a weekend, and for those covid concerned it’s in June." Not I/he/my husband/ wife invited.....

So I think IP is still being a bit obscure! (Maybe intentionally)

sweeneytoddsrazor · 10/04/2021 12:29

@SleepingStandingUp

Agree with your list, also wonder why its automatic to assume women need a spa to enjoy themselves. I don't mind a spa, but think I would might be more inclined to get out the old ouija board and talk to the dead Grin

Ninkanink · 10/04/2021 12:29

See the ‘see all’ button...?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 10/04/2021 12:33

@BraveGoldie op agreed with previous posts talking about OP inviting bunch of women. Hence the conclusion it's OP's party with bunch of women.
Oh's gender isn't really that important tbh.

But I agree taht OP is being obscure. Or was just bored.

BraveGoldie · 10/04/2021 12:37

I kind of think OP and partner's sex does matter..... I understand the desire for an 'all lads" or "all women" dynamic and one person of the opposite sex being there does often change that..... but if the partner is of the same sex I think it is more troubling that they would not be welcome

Flowersandjellybeans · 10/04/2021 12:38

Obviously it depends on your relationship but if it were me think I’d think it was pretty thoughtful to be honest - an Airbnb for a group would be much more expensive so it makes sense to do it that way. Plus I do find my DH and his pals really noisy when they’re all together!

Go and enjoy a lovely relaxing weekend - lots of baths, nice food and whatever you want to watch on TV!

Flowersandjellybeans · 10/04/2021 12:40

Agree gender is irrelevant here - I’m sure I’m equally noisy when with friends, possibly worse Grin

SchrodingersImmigrant · 10/04/2021 12:44

@BraveGoldie

I kind of think OP and partner's sex does matter..... I understand the desire for an 'all lads" or "all women" dynamic and one person of the opposite sex being there does often change that..... but if the partner is of the same sex I think it is more troubling that they would not be welcome
Sometimes it's partner changing dynamic. Not the gender of the partner. If everyone else is without a partner there, it will inevitably get to some fun moaning about some ridiculous bits like loud sneezing or similar.. You couldn't join in. And the others would feel awkward too.

Also. Being same sex doesn't automatically make friends or get on (same like same language which I've been trying to explain to people for over a decade😂😂😂)

SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2021 12:47

@BraveGoldie

I kind of think OP and partner's sex does matter..... I understand the desire for an 'all lads" or "all women" dynamic and one person of the opposite sex being there does often change that..... but if the partner is of the same sex I think it is more troubling that they would not be welcome
I'm not a lesbian so I have no experience here but my friends are made from my school, uni, job etc. Regardless of DPs sex I wouldn't assume we'd have a shared group of friends. I'd still want to be able to hang out with my friends with our shared history without worrying my partner felt left out from all the "remember when you were 16" or "remember Steve from Accounts" chat. Because the polite thing would be to not do that all night and include them, hence changing the dynamic
BraveGoldie · 10/04/2021 13:08

Agree but OP specifically stressed it was a singlesex group.

If the point was they were all from uni, I think that's how they would be described.

There is also a difference between saying "it might be boring for you" (as with all uni friends) and actually wanting partner out of the house so that dynamic is not spoiled/ altered... (seems to be the latter here)

Anyway - this thread has over 400 replies and just 2 from OP him/herself, so enough from me. Smile

imalmostthere · 10/04/2021 13:12

I'd be absolutely delighted and out the door in a heartbeat. Air bnb to myself for a weekend? Don't have to deal with DPs annoying friends when drunk? Excellent.
Tell him to throw in spending money for wine and a takeaway and get packing a bag - I'll take the offer if you don't 😂

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