To spend every evening in bed dreading work the next day

[Whatapalavaa]

Does anyone else do this? Full of dread and panic at the thought of another day at work to get through. Wanting to sleep to escape that feeling, but at the same time, not wanting to fall asleep because it means the next day comes faster. Just awful.

I’ve been there and it’s a truly hideous position to be in.

Can you pinpoint the problem(s)?

Could you take some u paid leave or if there are serious underlying problems (bullying / anxiety etc) take some time of sick to try and gather your thoughts?

You know you need to find a new job - you just need to sort out the next couple of steps x

Yes can relate. I dont think it is my companies 'fault' I just have no memory anymore and so my confidence is rock bottom as i make silly mistakes. I feel so bad that most nights I suffer from chronic indigestion which affects my sleep...funnily enough I dont have it when 'on holiday'

Yes I know the feeling. Thats why I became self employed. At least now I can respect my "boss".

For a previous job, absolutely. Left and I dont have that anymore, but its taken reading this thread for that to dawn on me!

Thank you for all the replies. It's more the role/nature of the work than the people, although a few characters I manage are very draining.

So much to do and disillusioned by it all/don't believe in what I'm doing. It gives me no meaning or sense of purpose. It's all just feels like one big long to do list I'm frantically trying to tick off but keeps being added to. No chance of workload being reduced. Appraisals are all very positive because I must be a great actress and can't be honest about how I'm feeling. Feel like a failure because it's a more senior role and I should be able to hack it so I'm very disappointed in myself.

I'm exhausted and miserable. Live alone so need to be earning.

Yes. I'm in a similar position - I'm awake now because I hate my job. I'm not going to get any more sleep between now and the 'morning'.

I also live on my own, so unemployment is not an option.

Nothing helpful to offer, just an 'I get it.'

@andwaydowntheygo

Thank you I was awake early too. Are you wanting to leave your job?

I had this and I left the role after 9 years, although in my case it was my manager who was awful, unqualified and highly suspicious of anyone who isn't white british.
I was not the only person to leave.
My next manager was excellent, open, supportive, kind.

I've been feeling like this for 6 months,worked flat out during the lockdowns.
A mixture of bad management,lazy and toxic colleagues.It was just too much.
I gave two weeks notice and my last day is tomorrow.
Can already feel the weight lifting mentally and physically.

I hope you manage to get out/find work elsewhere soon and start to feel happier.As a previous poster said life is far too short.

I had this. I had high functioning anxiety and I didn’t ever equate what I was feeling to anxiety because I was (am) so capable. There was a HUGE disconnect behind how I felt about my performance in my role and the external. I won awards for my work.

I have found the following helped me:
Doing more of the things I love to do, booking them in so they happen - horse riding, exercise
Actively doing less - I gave up leading at my church
Putting my needs first - Doing more exercise, drinking more water as priorities not tag on the end
Changing my job role to something less intense but I am bored-ish - so swings and roundabouts! Better than hating life though.
I never took medication but I journal, mediate and exercise daily to manage anxiety.

Yes...in my old job/career.

Now...new career! I adore it and I'm excited every day going in. I love it!!

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I did in a previous teaching job. I was signed off and handed in my notice but luckily I had young children at the time so I was a sahm for a bit. Now I’m teaching in a different school and I’ve never been happier.

If you’d said the above to me when I was in the think of it, I wouldn’t have believed you but it is true, it can happen and it has!

Can you get signed off for a bit to try and heal yourself? Have a little scout around for other jobs?

Your mental well-being is so important. I know you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place right now but there are ways out.

*thick of it (stupid autocorrect)

@Whatapalavaa what is your job/role?

@MajorMujer

I had this and I left the role after 9 years, although in my case it was my manager who was awful, unqualified and highly suspicious of anyone who isn't white british. I was not the only person to leave. My next manager was excellent, open, supportive, kind.

I think good management is the key to be honest. It goes a long way to easing any stress and anxiety plus ensures there is fairness.

Done badly it can quickly become toxic. Ours is a little like this as our manager really struggles to cope with several strong characters who basically get to do what they please. He nit picks the others instead who are hard working and compliant.

@Ilovelove

I had this. I had high functioning anxiety and I didn’t ever equate what I was feeling to anxiety because I was (am) so capable. There was a HUGE disconnect behind how I felt about my performance in my role and the external. I won awards for my work.

I have found the following helped me:
Doing more of the things I love to do, booking them in so they happen - horse riding, exercise
Actively doing less - I gave up leading at my church
Putting my needs first - Doing more exercise, drinking more water as priorities not tag on the end
Changing my job role to something less intense but I am bored-ish - so swings and roundabouts! Better than hating life though.
I never took medication but I journal, mediate and exercise daily to manage anxiety.

Thanks for this.

I think this is me to be honest. I used to be very anxious but have improved massively with becoming more senior in my role, having kids etc. I can feel pangs of it again though with things I can’t control at work. There have been many changes in our role (nhs) over the past year and I realised that I managed my stress levels pretty well when everything was ticking along normally but really struggled with change. We are currently working looking over our shoulders at what changes might happen on any given day and it’s so tiring. Mix that in with a poor manager and a few individuals who don’t pull their weight and it’s exhausting!

Perhaps you should think about going to counselling for a while. That will give you an anchor point each week to say what you are feeling. Also you build a connection with another person where you don't have to play a role or be strong or anything for anyone else.
It might help you find other parts of yourself that you have lost, and re energise that feeling of having a purpose in life. The job might only be part of what's going on.
Might also help give you support while you find another job, if that's what you want to do.

@Whatapalavaa

Does anyone else do this? Full of dread and panic at the thought of another day at work to get through. Wanting to sleep to escape that feeling, but at the same time, not wanting to fall asleep because it means the next day comes faster. Just awful.

yes. I have felt exactly that. I used to sit up and Dh would say 'come to bed; and i would say 'If i fall alseep tomorrow comes more quickly'.

In the end I got signed off for stress and then quit without knowing what I was going to do. We had some savings to bridge the gap, thank God.

It;'s an awful position to be in.

Yes and it was horrendous.

If you’ve identified what’s causing this and know you cannot change things there to change how you feel, you have to try and channel that anxiety into applying for other roles. Its awful to start, but the benefit is worth it.

After the start of my second week in my new role (for me it was a total career change!) , 4 years ago I cried with relief when I realised I didn’t go to bed that Sunday night dreading Monday.

@Whatapalavaa I'd walk tomorrow if I won the lottery.

I've been here long enough (2 years) to have employment rights, the world is on fire, and I have bills to pay. If there wasn't a global pandemic, I'd feel a lot better about taking a chance on changing jobs.

I wasn't furloughed (others were; I had to do the work), but I'm aware of how badly some people fell through the gaps who changed jobs just before Covid-19 hit. That's what puts me off.

Is there anything special stopping you from leaving yours? Or just more of the same?

Also just to let you know @OP If your dh dies get diagnosed with a mental illness that I think you can get the marriage annulled on the basis that he was suffering from that mental illness when you got married.

Wrong thread sorry 😬

It's a terrible feeling to have and one that I, unfortunately, know all too well.

By the time Friday rolls around I'm thankful for the weekend, but then dreading Monday by Saturday afternoon.

I got this from my old job. Took 3 weeks off sick and got enough energy together to apply for a new job. I love my new job.

Me 😭