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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend every evening in bed dreading work the next day

101 replies

Whatapalavaa · 07/04/2021 21:57

Does anyone else do this? Full of dread and panic at the thought of another day at work to get through. Wanting to sleep to escape that feeling, but at the same time, not wanting to fall asleep because it means the next day comes faster. Just awful.

OP posts:
Eyevorbig0ne · 08/04/2021 14:59

Yes it's horrid.
I'm on a week's leave. Some nights I'm still woken by work worries. When I think of returning next week I just want to curl up and cry or die. I hate it it's unbearably stressful and will probably make me very ill.
I work for an L. A and my dept is overwhelmed, under resourced (workers) and ineptly managed.
No policies on specific areas (as management don't know my job, it's finance). So leaving us wide open to complaints/appeals with no backbone.
I'm always looking on the internal jobs site... But every vacancy is for my team 😭😭👏
I'm wfh, good annual leave, pt. There is nothing out there but I'm considering jacking. I've over a years salary saved but nearly 50 jobs aren't easy to find.

Heartofglass12345 · 08/04/2021 17:15

I'm a contact advisor so I call people and tell them to isolate. It was all going fine until someone had a go at me on the phone.
Now, every time I have to ring someone my stomach is in knots, I end up needing the loo and I hate it Sad all from one bad experience. I think it was because it was a man as well.
My husband has told me to quit but I haven't had much luck with anything else as I get so nervous at interviews I end up messing it up.
I don't know what to suggest other than trying to find something else.
Are you sure there's no one you can talk to though?

Derrymum123 · 08/04/2021 17:22

See your GP. I cannot imagine feeling this low about a job. It isn't worth the stress.

cardibach · 08/04/2021 17:29

@freeandfierce

I'm in this situation (teacher), can't sleep, wake up in very early hours panicking about how much there is to do. I've worked solid for a year, all through last Summer, got a few days at Christmas. Took one day off this weekend to try and sleep. It's relentless and now being pressured to get them completed earlier than normal. Feel like I'm running at 100mph a the time. I know I'm going to crash soon. Told today to expect to work all Summer, been authorised one week off. Job hunting desperately.
Are you on the leadership spine? If not they can’t make you work all summer, surely? If you are, could you step back down to a teaching role or are you too senior for this to be allowed? If so, start applying for teaching only posts.
Bargebill19 · 08/04/2021 17:29

Yes I did and I do.
My ex employer was a nightmare to work for. Sadly he’s still being a nightmare despite me resigning. I have a new job, but as he’s still in the picture - he’s beginning to taint that too.

Lassy1945 · 08/04/2021 17:33

I would be fascinated to know the jobs involved in these posts

I worked in finance in London, highly professional and senior and never related to these levels of stress.

Is it the environment, management, team or actual work that is the cause?

Bargebill19 · 08/04/2021 17:36

@Lassy1945
Management for me. You name it, they’ve done it.

TooStressyTooMessy · 08/04/2021 17:45

Lassy1945 I worked on an acute hospital ward. Lots of patients, huge responsibility, staffing levels made it horrendously difficult to deliver safe care. I have had similar jobs and felt very stressed but not to that degree. What was absolutely the worst aspect of this particular job though was the total and utter lack of support from management.

Watermelon1234 · 08/04/2021 17:48

@Lassy1945

Management and environment for me and we are an nhs department.

The problem with the management is that they are not really properly qualified managers and have just sort of fallen into a role they are not really suited to.

Environment relates to not enough workspace, computers, desks, cubicles etc for the number of staff so constantly the worry of not having the adequate equipment to do the job to a high level. Oh and outdated slow IT.

FenceSplinters · 08/04/2021 17:50

Yes, I do. If I could do anything else which would earn me enough to cover outgoings, I would.

Lassy1945 · 08/04/2021 18:12

Another interesting question would be

Public or private sector?

Bargebill19 · 08/04/2021 18:39

@Lassy1945 private sector.

Fringeblack · 08/04/2021 19:08

I’m on the cusp of putting my notice in because of this.
Charity/Third sector.
Working with high risk cases.
Constantly battling with cases flying through the door, no time to risk assess and properly safeguard before you’re onto the next 5 landing in the inbox.
Not given enough time to do more than the basics, and just waiting for something to go wrong so you can get blamed. I should feel like a nervous wreck but mostly feel numb.

SweetToffee · 08/04/2021 19:25

Currently yes , it’s crap. We are in our own covid groups. Can’t natter at lunch with anyone outside your group. This means that when people in your group piss you off (which we all do) the only people you can moan about them to is the actual people who’ve pissed you off. It’s all bollocks.

ED81 · 08/04/2021 19:40

My old job - lasted 6 months and had to leave. It was toxic and encroaching into my personal life.

Could you look for another post?

FenwickRose · 08/04/2021 20:12

I had that when I was teachíng but now that I've got a different job I don't feel like that anymore

Original poster
Whatapalavaa · 08/04/2021 21:28

I'm in management in a call centre. I have promised myself I'm going to start job hunting. I don't really have the energy reserves but have to start somewhere. I'm so frightened I won't find something else and I'll be stuck for a while. I live for Friday evenings and Saturdays. Sundays the dread and panic begins again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatapalavaa · 08/04/2021 21:32

@Eyevorbig0ne

When I think of returning next week I just want to curl up and cry or die.

^^ I know that so well. It almost makes me not want to take leave because returning is so stressful and awful it nearly ruins your week.

Some days I hope something disastrous happens that would give me a hospital stay or bed rest so I could genuinely be off for a while.

OP posts:
Stellaris22 · 08/04/2021 21:35

This is exactly how I was in my previous job, I was miserable and had a constant state of anxiety and panic.

I am now in a lower paid, part time job which is much more relaxed. Quitting my old job was exactly what I needed to do.

You have my sympathy.

carlycornwall · 08/04/2021 21:56

I've found working life far less stressful the more senior I've become. I am very mindful of how people feel working for me. I'd be horrified if they felt like you all.

Please flag this to someone or make plans to leave if you can't. Life is way too short.

TooStressyTooMessy · 08/04/2021 22:18

Nice to hear there are some good managers about carly Smile.

Lassie, my job was public sector.

Flowers to everyone in difficult situations.

Moneypenny007 · 08/04/2021 22:21

Yup feeling like this a lot. The pressure in my job is horrible. I've never had a proper mentor/ supervisor, which means there are elements of my job that are considered essential that I cant do. But because I've been working in the field a while its harder to get the help/guidance I need. Coupled with covid and people remote working.
My husband is studying and has a year left. I plan to take time out when he finishes/ this contract ends to help myself heal a bit. My mh has taken a complete bashing because of work.

IJustLovePirates · 08/04/2021 22:26

I work with a bitchy clique who are always whispering in corners. It’s like being back at school. I’m too old to look for another job but have an escape plan about starting my own business which will take two years for various reasons. So, two more years of crap.... :(

FredAstairesShoeLaces · 08/04/2021 22:29

I’ve been there, OP. It’s awful.

I remember walking to work once and briefly thinking that if I stepped out in front of a passing car, it wouldn’t be going fast enough to kill me but I’d probably end up with a broken leg and a few weeks off work sick.

I was in a really bad place and ended up leaving but not getting any help to address the medical need I had. Took me some time to sort it myself.

I got a new jobs several years ago and love it. Never have the Sunday night panic anymore. It’s fantastic. Makes such a difference.

There are other jobs out there but you’re in a fog right now and not able to think straight. If you can, go see your GP. If they can prescribe something to take the edge off in terms of anxiety or sleep, take it. They’ll take a few weeks to kick in, but you’ll feel much clearer and will be in a position to tackle the job-hunt.

If you keep going as you are, nothing will improve. I know it’s hard.

rookiemere · 09/04/2021 09:45

I felt like this towards the end of last year. I looked at a few sideways moves but didn't have the energy to apply. Now I do and could kick myself as something I could have easily walked into in December was readvertised this year and got loads of applications so I was second choice.
The point I'm trying to make is you need to muster enough reserves to find a way out of this. If that is taking some leave or getting signed off, sounds like you need some time away.
Also try to figure out what has triggered this - for me it was trying to do too much, so now I'm a bit more ruthless with my time. Do you have a manager you can speak to ?