Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you move in next door but one to your inlaws?

202 replies

greybluehumpbackwhale · 07/04/2021 18:38

Just that, really.

OP posts:
mamahoo · 07/04/2021 20:33

Personally, no.

My MIL is great, but she used to turn up unannounced when I had my first baby. Even invited her friends and neighbours over to come and see me and the baby too.

She lives a 2 minute drive from our house. That was a little too close. So, no, definitely not next door.

MadisonAvenue · 07/04/2021 20:35

Christ no.

My mother in law (not an easy woman, whose hobby is judging and interfering) used to live 3 miles away which was close enough, we could easily drop by to see her for a cuppa but didn’t need to stay too long.

She’s now moved 250 miles away and invites herself to stay several times a year. When she said that she was going to move I had a brief moment of elation until the realisation dawned that she’d want to stay.

Beeme29 · 07/04/2021 20:36

No! 😊 I don’t dislike in laws but would be too much. Mil is the type who would spy on what I was doing each day or turn up all the time uninvited 😂

Stovetopespresso · 07/04/2021 20:39

I like my in laws but I would find that haaaard.
I've always thought immediate family needs to come first emotionally iykwim

FunnyWonder · 07/04/2021 20:41

No.

Oh God ..... no!

No.

Mine live 7 miles away. Thankfully they think we live in the arsehole of nowhere, so they rarely come up. Apparently, when we're visiting them, the distance is much shorter. Go figure.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/04/2021 20:45

I’d have happily moved in next door to my late MIL - she was the mum I never had. I love my FIL but he is very hard work, so,I wouldn’t want to live next door to him.

From dh’s point of view - I think that, if my dad hadn’t died years ago, he’d have been happy to have him live next door, but we both find my mum a very difficult character, and 390 miles is about the right distance between us.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 07/04/2021 20:52

No, I love my mil but she is really really nosy and loves to talk about other people. She would be commenting on everything we did. She would tell everyone else on the street our business. I'd feel like I needed to invite her for dinner all the time too as she's on her own.
We already live within a few minutes drive of each other and I do find it quite stifling.

ImAlrightThanx · 07/04/2021 20:53

Surely this depends on how you get on with them/if they are going to pop in and out all the time.
I personally wouldn't mind, good for security as MIL is a nosy neighbour!

ArabellaScott · 07/04/2021 20:55

God, no.

Washimal · 07/04/2021 21:06

This would be my worst nightmare.

QuiteContraryMarie · 07/04/2021 21:07

Not on your life.

Staffy1 · 07/04/2021 21:11

No, what a horrific idea. How could you suggest such a thing?

Hankunamatata · 07/04/2021 21:14

Yes but they arnt the type to space invade. I'd think they wouldnt like it as they like their peace and quiet

Lemmeout · 07/04/2021 21:29

No but then I wouldn’t want to live close to anyone I know we’ll because I like my privacy.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/04/2021 21:34

Would have really valued it during this pandemic!

Divorced now but when I was married.

PassMeTheWotsits · 07/04/2021 21:35

No chance

ILoveAfternoonTea · 07/04/2021 21:42

No. 5-10 minute drive then yes

My FIL has his MIL opposite and believe me it's a huge weight he's rather not have on his shoulders. Regularly gets called on to sort problems out. He thinks he/they might be in the will so has to play nice Shock

partofyoupoursoutofme · 07/04/2021 21:49

Yes, I would love it! Not my own parents though, that would be a nightmare

Pantsinthewash · 07/04/2021 22:03

Speaking as a DIL who has lived next door to my in-laws for many years, my advice is to be very careful of what expectations you might raise for the future. Some arrangements can be be difficult to unpick. We now find ourselves seemingly "trapped" living next door to my widowed parent in law who can't really manage alone, but thinks they can! They don't want to think about having carers to visit to relieve the pressure on my husband and I, and would understandably want to live out their remaining years in their house rather than residential care, but the reality is that this is only possible with daily input and support from us.

lightand · 07/04/2021 22:04

Much as I love them, that is several houses too near.

Wizzbangfizz · 07/04/2021 22:07

Hell would freeze over before I would consider it and the same with my own parents.

CrazyHorse · 07/04/2021 22:10

Yes when my DC were small- I would have sent them round to grandparents at every opportunity. In-laws would probably have moved to get away from us.

sunshineandshowers40 · 07/04/2021 22:11

No but I wouldn't live that close to my parents either.

triceratopsmama · 07/04/2021 22:17

Not a snowballs chance in hell. I passed up a free site because I didn't want to live beside my own parents. No way would I live that close to my in-laws.
We live in the community I grew up in. Ds will go to the same school I did, he'll be the 6th generation to go there but we're ten minutes drive from my parents and 20 from the in laws. Close enough.

DJattheendoftheworld · 07/04/2021 22:19

No! Mine are 2000 miles away, which is perfect.