Humana, it’s a shame if you don’t want to reciprocate friendship in an form at all. This thread shows that people understand not everyone can host, but everyone can reciprocate friendship and find a way to do that that works for them.
You dont have to have people over. You can take them out for coffee and cake or for a meal. You could arrange to meet in a park and take the picnic for everyone.
Are you saying you just don’t want to maintain the friendships or engage with people?
I guess there are some people who genuinely don’t want to engage with others, but I think they are few and far between. Most do like having friends even if they prefer a pretty small circle of one or two. Even those friendships require some work and time and effort. Some might never involve going to each others’ houses, but most will at some point. As N4 said, for some people it’s just a case of spotting where the offering friendship has become a np it one-sided and finding ways that work for you to show friendship back.
And it doesn’t have to be totally equal. It’s more nuanced than people must host back for every time they accept an invitation. Some friendships are based more around one person showing hospitality....but the key thing is that everyone involved in the friendship does make some effort and show friendship in some form.
When people think about it, sometimes they realise they have been to their friend or family members the last 10 times. They realise they have been there and never once taken the meal or invited the friends or family back, or to meet somewhere else where they might offer even a coffee. They have let their friend babysit their child or have them for a sleepover 15 times but never ever even offered to take other child to the Parkersburg once.
Things don’t have to be totally equal and people don’t need to feel they can’t accept a dinner invitation because they were invited there last time or they won’t be having them back. It’s not as black and white and counted up as that. It’s simply that if you’ve been somewhere 4 times it’s probably time to be having a thought about how to reciprocate friendship. It could literally be asking the others to meet in a park and saying you’ll bring a picnic.
But I guess some people perhaps feel that they don’t want to offer any reciprocity. Suggesting a picnic isn’t something they want or do although they have been happy to go for a meal 4 or 5 times. That does sound a rather uneven friendship to me. I wouldn’t be counting but I would notice if after a decent period of time, it was very much always me making the effort and the other person never even attempted to make an effort.