AIBU and what am I missing here?

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

Two days ago DD had a nose bleed in the morning. Nothing massive, stopped after a minute of pressure all well and good.

Later she went on a walk with her friend and the friend's mum. Half an hour later mum rings and tells me DD has had a nose bleed. I told her she had one in the morning and she has wipes and tissues in her back pack and I can come and get her if she wants me to. Her entire tone changed and was very angry I didn't tell her and that it wasn't fair I let her deal with this and "if I had known..".Weird ,but fair enough.

Went to get DD, turn out the "nose bleed" was a couple of sneezes where DD's snot got mixed up with old blood so there were traces but not a full blown one. Friend's mum barely talked to me and when she did was to reiterate that I should've told her. I'm just explaining this because there was no mess for her to clean up, she didn't touch any blood or anything like that. DD sneezed(albeit in her arm not in a tissue) , saw and cleaned herself up.

Later on I sent her a message apologising , saying I didn't really think it was a big deal and asking if there's anything else going going on between the girls or with me that made her react that way.

This morning I got another ranty message about how I don't get it(it's true I really don't ) ,nothing else is going on and she can't believe I'm not taking this seriously. I broke her trust and I should've told her and that's that. At this point I just left it, I still don't get it and I'm not apologising again.

So AIBU? What am I missing?

She sounds crackers. It was a mild nose bleed, not the flu?
I’d give her a really wide birth tbh, what a drama queen

@AccidentallyOnPurpose, Worry Not. A few minutes ago I read an item by the Shepherdess on what made the 'snowflake generation'.
Making a big deal of a nose bleed with little blood seems a good start for the ranty shrew.

Yeah I don't get it either OP 🤷‍♀️

Since she won't tell you what the issue is/was I'd just keep a respectful distance. A smile and now approach may be in order, just because of your daughters friendships.

Some people are odd

A while back I was helping my sister out at a kids party and a child (age 5) had a huge nosebleed. I was a bit taken aback (no DC myself at that point) but dealt with it and cleaned up the kid. Turns out this little girl had them regularly. Didn’t think to massively kick off that we hadn’t been warned!

Even as a non-parent, I expected to deal with any minor events as part of the deal with looking after kids. Definitely a weird over-reaction from your friend, especially as it wasn’t a full on nosebleed. Is she phobic of the sight of blood maybe?

@HoppingPavlova - fair enough, it happens to people who have nothing medically wrong with them, particularly children, but I would not say it is normal as in something that happens to most children, as it simply doesn’t statistically happen to most children, and tends to happen more than once in those it happens to. So - it may be normal to you and your child, and something they eventually grow out of, but completely abnormal and alarming to a parent who has never experienced it and has been given no warning. It’s weird to be alarmed by a bit of blood in snot, and weird to be angry with a parent who explains this is not something to worry about in their child, but really is not something that is in everyone’s normal experience.

It sounds very very strange.
I work with children of that age and nose bleeds are so common. Sometimes we get several in a week (different children!). My daughter is prone to them. I only tend to mention it if she’s had a few in the last few days so is likely to have another one in their care. If she’s just had one I wouldn’t think to mention it later on in the day!!

@Rillington

I agree with her. You should have made her aware of what had happened.

Eh? Told her that she had a total non event nosebleed TWO DAYS prior? Why? What do you think would happen? It's a nosebleed, it's not like her DD shat on the floor.

Some people are batshit ...

That’s crazy: nosebleeds are not a big deal. If adult who is in charge if DC is unable to cope with mild nosebleed then I’d worry what would happen if DC needed any sort of “proper” first aid.I honestly don’t understand why anyone would think they should be told DC had minor nosebleed on the day of a play date. They’re pretty normal in children.

@Rillington - I apologise, I see it was the same day.

I still don't see the issue tbh.

it is normal for some people, i get nosebleeds sometimes so what you described (snot with old blood) is far less alarming than actual big nose bleed happening (which admittedly can look scary at that moment if you're not used to it). i also get it with colds and blow my nose too hard, DS gets it sometimes.

id ignore that mum, very dramatic.

I don't get it either. It's her not you! Don't beg to her anymore, leave her to be a weirdo, it's not like you can catch a nose bleed so there was no risk to her or her child. Id have maybe said oh my child had a nose bleed but hopefully she's alright now but I don't know what the big deal is. Aren't people strange 🤔

She’s being ridiculous and I’m with you OP

She's being ridiculous. If she does have a blood phobia then why not say so when asked about it? total overreaction on her part - it wouldn't occur to me to mention it

@elenacampana

I might have mentioned it to her in passing but don’t think it’s a very big deal at all that you didn’t mention it. Think she’s being dramatic.

I would have done the same as elenacampana - mentions as a FYI - but had I been the other mother I certainly wouldn't have been going on about it. - especially as it was a smear and not a "gusher".

Ignore it

Madness, it is a nose bleed. My two children are always sent out with a pack of tissues, maybe a couple of wipes in their pockets you know because children sneeze or fall over and need to wipe their hands clean them to eat an ice cream it is just about being prepared. (no-one else has clumsy children and had a ready to grab first aid kit for outings?)

The fact she thought you should have informed her your DD had a nosebleed is crazy. Some children just randomly experience them. It wasn't like you didn't tell her she's allergic to bees and she is carrying an epi-pen.

I don't get it - nosebleeds are common, it's not like you 'hid' a major medical condition or something contagious. Not like a couple of examples I have - one 5 year old I was babysitting for when I was 18 who had 'petit mal' seizures and his mother never thought to mention them, the fright I got when he had one... and another family friend who never mentioned their child's severe anaphylactic bee allergy, we always thought he was just ridiculously nervous around bees...

@GreyhoundG1rl

It's probably just an over reaction to potentially dealing with the contents of someone else's nose during COVID times.

She didn’t have to deal with it, though. The child wiped it off herself.

I got nosebleeds constantly as a child and I don't think it would've ever occurred to my parents to mention it before I went out with a friend. By 10 I knew fine well how to handle them myself and often better than the adults who would try and advise me. Blood phobia sounds most likely but if it's not that then I cannot wrap my head round her reaction at all

She sounds absolutely unhinged. Way ott. I think in all honesty if she is acting like this I wouldn't want her around your dd.

She is BU op not you!

Dd1 has them all the time and deals with them - usually when having a growth spurt. It wouldn’t occur to me to mention it. They’re not contagious.

What a bloody drama queen.

Genuinely wouldn't have occurred to me to mention it or indeed that someone would be bothered by it. Like many pp, I had them every five minutes as a child (including on my first day of primary).

Interesting to hear other perspectives though, particularly about phobias.

TEN!!! TEN?! I think my eyes would roll all the way back to last week if someone cancelled a walk for our 10yr olds because theirs had had a nose bleed.

Is she worried about covid, I can only assume