AIBU and what am I missing here?

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

Two days ago DD had a nose bleed in the morning. Nothing massive, stopped after a minute of pressure all well and good.

Later she went on a walk with her friend and the friend's mum. Half an hour later mum rings and tells me DD has had a nose bleed. I told her she had one in the morning and she has wipes and tissues in her back pack and I can come and get her if she wants me to. Her entire tone changed and was very angry I didn't tell her and that it wasn't fair I let her deal with this and "if I had known..".Weird ,but fair enough.

Went to get DD, turn out the "nose bleed" was a couple of sneezes where DD's snot got mixed up with old blood so there were traces but not a full blown one. Friend's mum barely talked to me and when she did was to reiterate that I should've told her. I'm just explaining this because there was no mess for her to clean up, she didn't touch any blood or anything like that. DD sneezed(albeit in her arm not in a tissue) , saw and cleaned herself up.

Later on I sent her a message apologising , saying I didn't really think it was a big deal and asking if there's anything else going going on between the girls or with me that made her react that way.

This morning I got another ranty message about how I don't get it(it's true I really don't ) ,nothing else is going on and she can't believe I'm not taking this seriously. I broke her trust and I should've told her and that's that. At this point I just left it, I still don't get it and I'm not apologising again.

So AIBU? What am I missing?

Maybe she should've warned you she's unable to cope with minor things such as nose breeds and then you could've known to warn her. She's making a big deal out of nothing.

I try and tell folk aboit my ds nosebleeds but only because he can be prone to fainting and i dont want them freaking out. No one has ever had an issue just thanks for the heads up. She sounds weird

She might have anxiety or OCD about blood, I have a friend like this who really freaks out about other people's blood.

If that is a level of blood that she can't deal with, due to a blood phobia or whatever, then I think it should have been her warning you of that situation rather than the other way round. Any child can trip and cut a knee etc. and there be a small amount of blood to deal with. How would she have managed that?

I can understand her acting like that if you sent her round with covid but not a nose bleed. Yes she may have a phobia of blood but how are you meant to know that.

I would hazard a guess she's thinking it could be a non-typical Covid symptom - there are so many being linked to it for children that it's pretty much a case of anything at all could mean it's Covid.

Is she very anxious about Covid and/or life in general?

I guess maybe it's one of those things that is just totally dependent on perspective. Most of us are saying: total over reaction, just a bit of snotty blood. But from the point of view of a panicky mum in a pandemic, where pretty much anything could be a child Covid symptom, it was unreasonable to not let her know your child wasn't "symptom free" and thereby put her and her family at risk.

(I know it's bonkers and I'm not agreeing with it either, but can see why a freaked out anyway person might feel like that.)

Perhaps a text asking if there's anything particular that bothered her and a reminder that nose bleed does not equal Covid?

Doesn’t everyone know that you have to isolate for 48 hours after a nosebleed? She and her daughter might have caught nosebleeds now. So irresponsible. 😉

It is a very weird reaction from the other mum. However, people don’t just get a random nosebleed one day for no reason - they may have abnormally weak blood vessels in their nose, have had a blow to the nose, allergies aggravating the lining of their nose, a drug habit, an aggressive nose picking habit and extremely sharp fingernails, a viral infection, etc, etc, but they will not have a completely normal, healthy nose that just happened for no reason whatsoever to bleed out of the blue. So I would probably have mentioned the nosebleed to the other mother, tbh, but would not have been particularly upset if someone failed to mention to me something they didn’t expect to repeat itself while I was looking after their child.

I think you should be cross at her for not mentioning her severe phobia, anxiety or whatever it is she's got before you trusted her to look after your dd.
Imagine how she would cope in a real crisis!

She's being totally over dramatic and unreasonable!

I didn't think that you were supposed to put pressureon a nosebleed?

Sorry if already mentioned.

but they will not have a completely normal, healthy nose that just happened for no reason whatsoever to bleed out of the blue

They will though.

I can’t believe it’s a reaction to a typical nosebleed and with the odd ‘hiding it’ comment i’d guess it’s Covid related, as in she guesses it may be some weird Covid symptom? Only explanation I can come up with for a ch batshit behaviour.

but they will not have a completely normal, healthy nose that just happened for no reason whatsoever to bleed out of the blue.

That’s completely incorrect. It’s not uncommon in children at all, it’s due to blood vessels and growth and is completely normal. So some kids ‘healthy noses’ will indeed just spout occasionally. And it’s no big deal whatsoever.

YANBU. I wouldn’t be suggesting any more play dates for a while, let her make the first move.

I wouldn't let her take your daughter out again. Flipping out over a childs nose bleeding is concerning. I would be really worried as to how she would deal with a real emergency.
I agree. Thinking back to my childhood and friends' parents, I'm sure any of them (and my parents the other way round) would have just made sure the child had a tissue, said something breezy like 'Oh dear, you're OK aren't you?' and carried on.

She's batshit crazeeeee

How old is DD?

Normal scenario;
‘Oh goodness, X, there’s some blood clots in your snot/nasal mucus!’
‘I had a nosebleed this morning!’
‘Ah, that will be why; it’s just the remnants. Give your arm a good wipe. Great, sorted. Off we go!’
Batshit reaction; see OP.

@Butwasitherdriveway

How old is DD?

OP said "She's 10 , which is why she sorted herself out with no input from friend's mum and wasn't fussed at all."

She sounds mad. It would never enter my head to tell a Mum that dd had had a nosebleed unless it was literally two minutes before we'd left the house.

Equally, why would you freak out if a child DID have a nosebleed in your care? Either it's a random one, in which case you mop it up and try not to get blood everywhere, or it's from a bump on the nose in which case you mop it up and try to get it everywhere WHILE soothing tears etc. At 10 I would ask the child if they wanted to go home or were they okay. At 5 or 6...? I'd probably take the child home.

I've been a parent helper on school trips and have mopped up some humdingers.

But this wasn't even a nosebleed! So doubly mad!

@Rillington nosebleeds are very common in children, it's something that should be on the radar. I actually think if someone has a blood phobia the onus is on them to inform the parents of any children they are caring for, considering that nosebleeds, scrapes and fall downs happen all the time when children are playing. I probably wouldn't want my kid to be in the care of someone who wouldn't be able to deal with the sight of a bit of blood as I'd worry about their ability to remain calm and patch my kid up.

Absolutely can’t understand her reaction .... or those from posters on here who say you should have told her, and those who’ve said they ‘shit themselves’ if a child had a nosebleed! WTAF??

Good job my ds wasn’t with her ... he gets nosebleeds every few days, they take anywhere between 10 and 25 minutes to stop!

And yes, you’re supposed to put pressure on, in the correct place. What you’re not supposed to do is tip your head back - despite first aid staff at school telling you to do so!

It's probably just an over reaction to potentially dealing with the contents of someone else's nose during COVID times.

But it wasn't a nosebleed!

If a kid got a nose bleed I'd happily clean them up and let the parent know later on. Big deal. Some people love nothing better to do than sook about trivial shit.