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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU and what am I missing here?

199 replies

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 06/04/2021 11:50

Two days ago DD had a nose bleed in the morning. Nothing massive, stopped after a minute of pressure all well and good.

Later she went on a walk with her friend and the friend's mum. Half an hour later mum rings and tells me DD has had a nose bleed. I told her she had one in the morning and she has wipes and tissues in her back pack and I can come and get her if she wants me to. Her entire tone changed and was very angry I didn't tell her and that it wasn't fair I let her deal with this and "if I had known..".Weird ,but fair enough.

Went to get DD, turn out the "nose bleed" was a couple of sneezes where DD's snot got mixed up with old blood so there were traces but not a full blown one. Friend's mum barely talked to me and when she did was to reiterate that I should've told her. I'm just explaining this because there was no mess for her to clean up, she didn't touch any blood or anything like that. DD sneezed(albeit in her arm not in a tissue) , saw and cleaned herself up.

Later on I sent her a message apologising , saying I didn't really think it was a big deal and asking if there's anything else going going on between the girls or with me that made her react that way.

This morning I got another ranty message about how I don't get it(it's true I really don't ) ,nothing else is going on and she can't believe I'm not taking this seriously. I broke her trust and I should've told her and that's that. At this point I just left it, I still don't get it and I'm not apologising again.

So AIBU? What am I missing?

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 06/04/2021 13:10

She is over reacting. I don't think you did anything wrong.

allaboutthecrisps · 06/04/2021 13:11

I can't believe anyone thinks this is info that needs passing on tbh! I also would not have said anything and would not have expected anyone else to either.

WutheringTights · 06/04/2021 13:11

Crazy behaviour. We have kids over all the time (when allowed). Severe allergies, yup I'd be pissed off if I wasn't told, but nose bleeds? Jeez. I've had a few gushers from visiting children (aged 6 and under). It's just something you have to deal with when you have kids around. No biggie. Kids get nose bleeds. It could easily have been her daughter with one.

BaggoMcoys · 06/04/2021 13:12

It sounds like a strange reaction from her. I might have mentioned it in passing, but equally may not have. I wouldn't think it was a big enough deal that I had to inform her. Maybe she has a blood phobia or some kind of anxiety, otherwise I can't understand her reaction. Even if she did have a phobia or something, surely she should realise that it's her issue and you didn't do anything wrong.

adeleh · 06/04/2021 13:14

She is being absolutely ridiculous. There is very little more to be said. I hope she reads this thread. Her poor DD, putting up with those dramatics all the time.

pam290358 · 06/04/2021 13:19

Leave her to get on with it - that’s completely over the top and she should be apologising to you, not the other way around. If DD had the nosebleed at home and you dealt with it, the sneeze, as you rightly say, was just traces of blood remaining from the bleed. If DD had been going to stay overnight or something, and there’s a history of nosebleeds or it’s linked to a known health condition that needs monitoring, then yes, definitely. But a one off that was dealt with - it’s really none of her business. Bizarre.

applesandpears33 · 06/04/2021 13:20

I've had nosebleeds all my life and at age 10 wouldn't have thought anything of dealing with it by myself just like your DD. I have noticed though that some people can be really funny about nosebleeds and the sight of blood does scare some folk.

LittleTiger007 · 06/04/2021 13:21

I think if she was small then you could have told her, but at 10 you are absolutely right. Your daughter was fine. 🤷‍♀️

StealthPolarBear · 06/04/2021 13:21

Does she think they're catching?

ddl1 · 06/04/2021 13:22

Did she perhaps think that your child might have Covid (though this is not at all a typical symptom)? If so, it might explain her over-reaction. Otherwise it just seems totally bizarre. On general principle, it might have better for you to tell her in advance; but her talking about 'broken trust' is really OTT.

Dacquoise · 06/04/2021 13:22

Second , fear of blood. Might explain her ott reaction. Nowt queer as folks.

MzHz · 06/04/2021 13:23

Omg, back away from the crazy!

Wtf is this woman going to do when the girls start their periods?

She’s bonkers

But I’d love to know why she’s so bothered

Amdone123 · 06/04/2021 13:24

She sounds unhinged. Good for you playing it down in front of your daughter. Obviously, you still want the children to be friends, but I would be nervous about sending her over again. Unless she has a full medical and takes her notes with her. Also, her poor child. She'll be a nervous wreck if she gets as much as a tummy upset.

Viviennemary · 06/04/2021 13:25

If it was a one off nosebleed I can see why you didn't think to mention it. What a ridiculous fuss about nothing. I'd hate to think how this person would cope with a real emergency.

EiffelPower · 06/04/2021 13:27

No, you're not BU and she's a bit batshit I guess.

KatharinaRosalie · 06/04/2021 13:35

Ask her because I really want to know as well what the hell she's upset about . That in your opinion it was really a no big deal and not worth mentioning, but as she's clearly very upset, could she please explain.

Bettysnow · 06/04/2021 13:38

I would let her take your daughter out again. Flipping out over a childs nose bleeding is concerning. I would be really worried as to how she would deal with a real emergency.
Stop apologising to her you have nothing to apologise for in fact i would give her an earful if she kept sending ranty texts

Bettysnow · 06/04/2021 13:39

Sorry that should read "i wouldn't let her"

likeamillpond · 06/04/2021 13:54

She sounds completely barking mad!
It was just a nose bleed and not even a proper one at that.
Some people are so scared of a bit of blood. Makes me wonder how she copes when one of her children scrapes their knee.

GabsAlot · 06/04/2021 13:57

weird a complete overreaction to something that didnt even happen

remnants of a nosebleed isnt a nosebleed

megaann · 06/04/2021 14:00

You have done nothing wrong, she's 10 and basically sneezed and some blood come out mixed with snot.

I could understand if she was a toddler with a bloody streaming nose but this is ridiculous. Do not apologise or let her think she's in the right

AnnaSW1 · 06/04/2021 14:01

Some people aren't good with blood.

FinallyHere · 06/04/2021 14:04

Are you a member of the Russian royal family ? Perhaps if DD was therefore assumed to be a haemophiliac we could understand the drama. 🙄

Original poster
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 06/04/2021 14:05

@KatharinaRosalie

Ask her because I really want to know as well what the hell she's upset about . That in your opinion it was really a no big deal and not worth mentioning, but as she's clearly very upset, could she please explain.
I can see the temptation but I honestly don't think dragging this out or going back and forth will solve this in a beneficial way for either of us. It will probably just escalate things and completely ruin things for the girls.

Tbh, I'm just hoping if I keep quiet and ignore it it will just go away eventually, particularly since they'll be back in school soon.

OP posts:
Mamajules43 · 06/04/2021 14:08

I don't understand why having a nose bleed is a big deal? Why would you tell someone that?!

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