AIBU and what am I missing here?

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

Two days ago DD had a nose bleed in the morning. Nothing massive, stopped after a minute of pressure all well and good.

Later she went on a walk with her friend and the friend's mum. Half an hour later mum rings and tells me DD has had a nose bleed. I told her she had one in the morning and she has wipes and tissues in her back pack and I can come and get her if she wants me to. Her entire tone changed and was very angry I didn't tell her and that it wasn't fair I let her deal with this and "if I had known..".Weird ,but fair enough.

Went to get DD, turn out the "nose bleed" was a couple of sneezes where DD's snot got mixed up with old blood so there were traces but not a full blown one. Friend's mum barely talked to me and when she did was to reiterate that I should've told her. I'm just explaining this because there was no mess for her to clean up, she didn't touch any blood or anything like that. DD sneezed(albeit in her arm not in a tissue) , saw and cleaned herself up.

Later on I sent her a message apologising , saying I didn't really think it was a big deal and asking if there's anything else going going on between the girls or with me that made her react that way.

This morning I got another ranty message about how I don't get it(it's true I really don't ) ,nothing else is going on and she can't believe I'm not taking this seriously. I broke her trust and I should've told her and that's that. At this point I just left it, I still don't get it and I'm not apologising again.

So AIBU? What am I missing?

She sounds insane. A 10 year old can deal with a full on nosebleed in my experience so how the mother went into a total panic about some sneezes with old blood in is totally beyond me. I wouldn’t speak to her again.

Nope - I don't get it either

It's not a small child it's one who can deal with nose bleeds themselves.

And it's hayfever season. They'll be happening all over the uk right now!

Seems like a bit of an over reaction from her. I don’t get the issue.

I honestly don’t get it either, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to mention it. Weird.

Maybe she has never experienced a nose bleed? But her reaction seems way over the top. Maybe DD didn't handle it well when it happened?

@xyzandabc

She can't believe you're not taking this seriously?

Taking what seriously? It was a nosebleed, that people do get sometimes, pinch, tissue, all done. Not something I would have mentioned unless it has just happened on the way to meet them.

I would be tempted to ask her what it is that you should be taking seriously as you can only see a nosebleed that was done and dusted well before you met up with them. But I can see that would only make her more cross. So probably just nod, smile and say yes you'll tell her if there ever is a next time. Either she has some kind of phobia or anxiety that she's not told you about or she's mad.

The not taking it seriously is because I asked if there's anything else going on. I thought maybe DD did or said something (or me), or the girls fell out or whatever and this is an excuse.

Apparently me not telling her IS the real issue and important enough for her to be angry at me.

Oh well..

The woman sounds like a drama queen. Honestly you don’t need people like this around. Life is complicated enough.

Whut?
I've got no idea why she's so aerated about it either!
I mean, if it was a regular occurrence and she'd bleed for ages, then yeah, fair enough - but otherwise (as a one off) I doubt I would have mentioned it.

She is totally overreacting. DS gets nosebleeds and it's no big deal. It definitely looks worse than it is. Seeing as this wasn't an actual nose bleed she sounds very odd. SIL used to make a song and dance about nosebleeds when DN got them so I've come across this overreaction before

Perhaps she thinks that you only have them when there's something else wrong?? So you can't just have them because you have one kinda thing and that if you have one you'll have more? So either no experience or a really bad experience?

I'd say you're sorry you're upset but you're unclear on why you've betrayed her trust as there was no reason to assume she's have another one and as she isn't ill, it hasn't picked to you she would have to deal with anything

If my daughter had a small nosebleed in the morning and went out with friends in the afternoon, chances are I'd have forgotten about the nosebleed by the time she was going out.

Nosebleeds can happen at any time.

I'd be pretty pissed off with a parent who couldn't deal with that and accused me of hiding it.

She sounds like a bit of a drama llama.

WTF? She's being really weird.

She really does sound unstable! It would never have occurred to me to mention a nosebleed unless it was an ongoing regular problem! Very odd !

My ten year old gets nose bleeds. I can't imagine what kind of over protective mother I'd look like if everytime he was with a friend I warned the parents that he gets nose bleeds and told them what to do. If he was young and got upset by them I'd maybe just about see why she was worried but a ten year old would just deal with it.

I think I'd reply and say "you are right I don't get it. If you would like to explain then I'm happy to listen but I'm not apologising again. It's a very minor thing and she's knows what to do if she gets one"

Odd reaction.

She is being ridiculous, a nose bleed is not a big deal, certainly not traces because of a sneeze.
You have already apologised and attempted contact to maintain friendship and civility, which is beyond fair.
She needs to give her head a wobble

Total overreaction, it's just a nosebleed. Not a big deal at all.

You broke her trust? Seriously? All seems a massive overreaction and I'd avoid her permanently in future. Sounds like drama you can do without.

Complete overreaction. She is being very weird.

People saying you should have told her because they wouldn’t know what to do/ wouldn’t be able to deal with it... What would have happened if she had the first nose bleed in her company? Maybe in that case she should just never take children anywhere ever again in case something happens. Where you draw the line? She had a nosebleed yesterday? Three days ago? Last year?

Ds has nosebleeds all the time due to his meds. He deals with it, it stops quickly. It wouldnt occur to me to tell anyone

I suppose you probably should have told her, if there were tissues and wipes in her bag, that suggests that you thought it might happen again.

But her reaction is very weird and completely overdramatic!

I think her response was OTT but to be fair, I would have said something as well.

I would have liked to know if I was in charge of my friends kids - just in case she had another/had a gusher/even if she was just blowing out bloody snot so I didn't worry unnecessarily.
To me, a nosebleed from my child in the morning is relatively common i.e. every couple of months - but if your child doesn't normally have blood coming out of their nose it can be quite frightening.

If DS (11) has a nosebleed in the morning, I let his teacher know in case he has another one during the day just as a warning. Because no-one wants to deal with another kids blood frankly.

You could have just said 'DD had a nosebleed this morning - don't worry about it - she can deal with it herself if it happens again but its unlikely to'

Your friend is being weird. I genuinely don't understand her issue. DD gets nosebleeds all the time, it's never crossed my mind to "warn" anyone about it
It's just a fairly common childhood occurrence surely

People are weird. Kids sometimes get nosebleeds. Adults do too! It wouldn’t dawn on me to mention it later on. Odd.