Symptomatic husband too 'busy' to get a test?!

[lifejusthappenss]

Dh had symptoms come on yesterday, new continuous cough and a fever. He's kept me up all night so far coughing so badly and woke up the baby

I work in a hospital and am well aware as he has symptoms I should self isolate until he has a test. Issue is dh is ridiculous and insists he hasn't got time to self isolate or miss work, he's travelling for conferences this week and has lots to do surely if you're travelling for work it's more important than ever to get a test and not become a super spreader across the UK!! I know he's worried the results won't come back in time but it's the right thing to do

Anyway we've just had an argument over it at 3am!! He said he was going to sleep downstairs so I can get a good sleep for work and I said I won't be going to work in the hospital with you like this until you've you've been tested and he scoffed that there's no chance. So what do I do if he refuses? Besides me thinking he's massively unreasonable putting other people at risk because he's too 'important' I also feel he's putting me in a difficult position at work? I'm not going into a hospital if someone I live with shows symptoms but will have to be off the full 10 days if he doesn't test?

God almighty, notify his workplace! The bloody great clown

Book him a test right now.

If he gets tested first thing he should get the results ASAP - it’s pretty efficient now.

Presumably he can sort some arrangements from hone while he waits for the test.

No one is irreplaceable in a business unless he’s literally a self/employed one-man band.

What conferences are even taking place in person anyway? In my business they’re all cancelled/virtual.

What a selfish bastard! Unfortunately there's nothing you can do other than self isolate for the full 10 days I suppose. I'd be so angry.

Annoying his company have clung to the whole 'you can still travel for work purposes' stance and are doing far too much in person that they could be doing on Teams. That's a whole other issue we have argued about multiple times! He's a total workaholic and his whole company seem to have that same attitude. It's ridiculous IMO.

No, yanbu, but you know that really.
Hopefully when you actually refuse to go to work because of it he will see sense and get a test. We can't tell you if he will or not though.
Wait until a reasonable hour and have an actual conversation with him about it, explaining the backlash for you if he doesn't get a test. Hopefully he will see sense

Thanks all. He started going on about how the more people that get tests the more cases they'll find so it's time for people to just get on with it now we're coming out of lockdown and honestly lost respect for it. How stupid can you be? I agree mass testing of asymptomatic people is a bad idea but of course individuals with symptoms need a test.

So angry I can't get back to sleep!

If he goes, I'd definitely tell him not to bother coming back.

What a disgusting man.

Tell him bluntly that if he won't go and get a test, which takes all of five minutes, you'll call his workplace yourself, and warn them that he has symptoms.
Point out that if he has a continuous cough, it will be immediately obvious to everyone that he is endangering the entire team, and he will be seen as (and is) a selfish ignorant irresponsible prick.
It might cause a row but at least it will get resolved quicker.

Well, you’ll have to declare to your employer why.

And perhaps they’ll notify test and trace?
(Would he know they wouldn’t? - if you can’t get him to understand it’s the right thing to do then can he be scared into it?)

The test centres in our semi rural area have been turned into vaccination centres so we'd have to drive 50 minutes each way to get the test or get a home test, which I agree is crap, that's rural living for you (another reason he won't test - apparently we don't 'have covid here' ) but if the alternative is putting other people at risk then that's the best option. I've said I'll drive him there and back if he isn't feeling up for it but he's saying the baby will cry the whole way and the home test will take too long for results. Why does he think he's above the law? I did point out he will get extremely funny looks and potentially trouble travelling with this bad a cough and he'd be doing himself a favour to have a record of a negative test before doing so. Still can't sleep as he's hacking away downstairs.

Surely no-one he's going to be with will want to be anywhere near him? He won't get any business done, and it'll look terrible professionally. If he's going to conferences he won't only be seeing people from his company.

I would just book him in for the test 50 mins drive away. And insist that he goes. He can’t be so stupid as to consider going to a conference with symptoms. Imagine the damage he could do to the company.

I am so sorry you are going through this. How ridiculous your husband is being. My husband is CEV and has shielded for over a year, and people such as your husband are why he is continuing to do so. It's so scary to us, and many others, that people like your husband are potentially putting lives at risk - or at the very least causing anxiety to those around him when they hear his cough. Obviously you cannot go to work in a hospital and so sorry you will have to isolate for the whole 10 days now. I have no words really, except to say while there are such selfish people like your husband around, my husband risks his life if he were to come across him. I could actually cry I am so upset. You must be furious with him!

ps Yes my husband had his first vaccine but due to his immune system it is likely to not be very effective for him,

Point out how bad he will look professionally if he ignores this and infects the whole team.
Putting his wants and needs ahead of the team is not a good look.
I would just say” well you are going to be the selfish bastard who infects the team/ clients and their family and friends. How will you feel if anyone dies?.”
Then leave it for him to ponder.

I'd book a test for him and tell him he either gets the test or leaves. He clearly has symptoms and needs to follow the rules. I would also wake him up every time he disturbs your.

I don't know what he does professionally but he will be seriously hurting the reputation of the business he's working for if he meets with any clients/potential clients, potential business partners, vendors, etc...
If someone came to a conference right now in the industry i work in with covid symptoms i wouldn't go near anyone from that company and I'd seriously reconsider doing business with people so careless.

OMG how selfish is he. How many others are like him and then wonder why Covid isn’t going anywhere 🤦‍♀️. So god I don’t live in the uk!!

Oh dear. I couldn't ignore this as you are being put in a dreadful position with your work. But you can't force him.

I don't know what you do

In your position I'd probably hide his car keys.

If he just gets a bloody test, he’ll know within a day.

Other people traveling may be traveling in a support capacity. They might be going to care for a baby, help someone just diagnosed with cancer etc., For him to potentially infect those people is very cruel. I wish you'd report him.

Stick to your guns. Good luck.

Can you tell him you will tell his boss as he is completely fucking over your employer, which is unfair?

Would he be concerned about what his boss would think?

@121hugsneeded

In your position I'd probably hide his car keys.

Why? Is that a known cure for coronavirus?

@beginningoftheend

Can you tell him you will tell his boss as he is completely fucking over your employer, which is unfair?

Would he be concerned about what his boss would think?

Ye, get him fired. Good plan.

OP, I'm sorry to tell you this. I hope you're sitting down.

There's not much to be done. Only one treatment has been known to work in the past..

It's the dressing gown of DOOM!

Once donned, patients tend to comply.