Symptomatic husband too 'busy' to get a test?!

[lifejusthappenss]

Dh had symptoms come on yesterday, new continuous cough and a fever. He's kept me up all night so far coughing so badly and woke up the baby

I work in a hospital and am well aware as he has symptoms I should self isolate until he has a test. Issue is dh is ridiculous and insists he hasn't got time to self isolate or miss work, he's travelling for conferences this week and has lots to do surely if you're travelling for work it's more important than ever to get a test and not become a super spreader across the UK!! I know he's worried the results won't come back in time but it's the right thing to do

Anyway we've just had an argument over it at 3am!! He said he was going to sleep downstairs so I can get a good sleep for work and I said I won't be going to work in the hospital with you like this until you've you've been tested and he scoffed that there's no chance. So what do I do if he refuses? Besides me thinking he's massively unreasonable putting other people at risk because he's too 'important' I also feel he's putting me in a difficult position at work? I'm not going into a hospital if someone I live with shows symptoms but will have to be off the full 10 days if he doesn't test?

Glad he’s agreed to get a test. Men are stubborn aren’t they.

What a relief that he has booked a test, op. He probably does just have a cold but better safe than sorry.

Surely if he's got a hacking cough the people he's in a conference with will have an issue with that? I'm going to make a general assumption that they don't ALL think that we 'just have to get on with it' now. Is he willing to risk the job he loves so much?

Glad to hear he's booked a test. Hate to say it, but I hope it's positive - selfish git! Also hope you and the baby remain symptom free.

@Cuntryhouse

I do understand it properly. But for a 50 mile journey I would be testing the whole household. I don't care if you don't agree.

And if op’s test came back negative because she has no symptoms but is incubating how would having a test have helped?

When things are better op perhaps a conversation around the fact that no one is too important or busy to consider the impact of walking around with covid and potentially killing someone else.

@Itsalonghaul I agree. Sadly, there are people - many people it seems - who actually genuinely don't care. I work with a woman who told me that if she developed symptoms she still wouldn't isolate as long as she wasn't feeling too ill. When it was pointed out to her that she could potentially pass it on and actually cause the death of another person, she said 'oh I can't be worrying about nonsense like that', with a hand wave.

She did catch CoVID, she did pass it on to her own father who ended up in ICU for 8 weeks. Fortunately he survived but has been left with god know how many other problems now. Pretty sure she wishes she'd isolated now.

Good that he's agreed to have the proper PCR now

I just cannot understand all these men with their 'big important jobs' who still need to go to bloody conferences. Everyone else is doing them online. There is no possible reason that you need to go to a conference in person. Just none at all. It's just to keep up the myth that 'I am so important. I HAVE to work all hours and fly to conferences'
I really had hoped Covid might chance some of this crap for the sake of the environment.

[quote rwalker]@MrsTerryPratchett
HIS JOB IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS. AND BY EXTENSION HE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU. THAT'S WHAT HE'S SAYING

Not at all doubt he would of taken a test if he was single . Not everything is man v woman[/quote]
Yes he wouldn’t have but his partner/wife works in a hospital and as part of the partnership he should respect what her contracting corona could do. Also I think the OP should make the husband do everything around the house as punishment. Oh so you are not too ill to take a test, then you are not too ill to scrub the bathroom floor.

Can chemists supply the lateral flow tests you do yourself at home?

I work for the NHS and have to go to work in person to look after people. On 2 occasions where we had outbreaks at work one person (who didn't know they had it) managed to infect whole teams of 40 or so people despite PPE and 'Covid secure measures'
It was not their faults in those instances as they had done everything they could and were asymptomatic but imagine the guilt at seeing some of your colleagues hospitalised if you had knowingly turned up to a conference with symptoms.
(Both times my colleagues likely got it from secondary age kids who were asymptomatic)

What companies are organising face to face conferences these days?

@lifejusthappenss

Went downstairs this morning for him to tell me he's booked a test, very begrudgingly and he seems annoyed at me that he's having to! Not sure how it's my fault, but whatever. He's got a blocked nose now and is using that as a reason why I'm stupid because "it's clearly a cold".

I hope you don't mind @lifejusthappenss, I'd be really curious to know whether or not he tests positive, if you feel like updating here? I absolutely agree with your stance, and get really cross with these people/companies who are so important that their work completely obviates, in their minds, their respect for the entire community and their ethical obligation to protect others from this virus.

@CovoidOfAllHumanity

Good that he's agreed to have the proper PCR now

I just cannot understand all these men with their 'big important jobs' who still need to go to bloody conferences. Everyone else is doing them online. There is no possible reason that you need to go to a conference in person. Just none at all. It's just to keep up the myth that 'I am so important. I HAVE to work all hours and fly to conferences'
I really had hoped Covid might chance some of this crap for the sake of the environment.

Sorry, I missed your post, @CovoidOfAllHumanity. We agree!

If you work in a hospital do you have access to same day pcr tests for your household. I would get in touch with your occupational health team at work.

@lifejusthappenss

Went downstairs this morning for him to tell me he's booked a test, very begrudgingly and he seems annoyed at me that he's having to! Not sure how it's my fault, but whatever. He's got a blocked nose now and is using that as a reason why I'm stupid because "it's clearly a cold".

I'm so glad that he's listened to sense, he's angry at you for being the voice of reason. You didn't create the rules, but you're making him follow them and he's pissed off.

Imagine if he didn't listen, him turning up to F2F conference hacking away, then most people having to self isolate after, I don't think anyone would hold him in very high esteem after that.

So glad he's listened, hope he manages to recover quickly, and hope you and the children escape it.

ANYONE can order a pack of test kits from the official NHS site.

I started a couple of months ago as I provide childcare for my DGS ( DD is a teacher and does twice weekly testing) .

It's selfish pigs like your husband that spread this virus and cause immune-compromised people like children with cancer to get ill/die. My values would be so sharply different to his I honestly could not stay married to him if I were you, I just could not. He is a selfish, thoughtless pig. It would be a deal breaker for me. Furious wouldn't even cover it. It is pigs like him that has caused the UK deaths to be in the couple of hundred thousands.

Furious wouldn't even cover it. It is pigs like him that has caused the UK deaths to be in the couple of hundred thousands.

Bit harsh! He’s come to his senses and agreed to a test. I hope he isn’t too unwell.

Given that he’s booked the test, I’d put his initial grumpy refusal down to understandable ‘railing against the universe’ while he hauled his brain onto the new track. He’s doing the right thing now.

Hope he has a random cough of some other sort and that you don’t all catch it.

People like your husband make me want to scream.

I have missed a parent's funeral!

You can miss a conference ffs you utter selfish git.

Glad he's booked a test but I sense he's worried about his job and is 'presenting'. Is he in an industry that condones its employees breaking the law ?
I can imagine a lot of people are doing the same if they think they will be repercussions if thry take time off/go sick/self isolate . It's quite worrying.

Oops & of course I missed that he has booked the test.

Should have done it straightaway though!

You can’t make him get a test but I’d tell him that if he left the house I’d call the police. What a criminally irresponsible wanker.

We might be coming out of lockdown but, if there are lots more selfish people like your husband, then maybe we shouldn't be. I'll never understand how people can care so little for the welfare of others.

@RedcurrantPuff

You can’t make him get a test but I’d tell him that if he left the house I’d call the police. What a criminally irresponsible wanker.

This thread is crying out for an addition to the title

Read the OP's posts before you post!